The Zit Who Lived
you'd think that after a good twenty years or so of battling facial enemies, i'd be able to defeat a chin zit.
apparently not.
this stupid thing is absolutely determined to be the 11th member of my a cappella group, and at this point, i'm ready to let it. maybe it can sing the descant.
seriously, after doing everything one does to properly (and swiftly) eradicate a sizeable blemish, i thought i'd gained the upper hand by yesterday evening. i felt we were at a turning point.
which is when i busted out with the green mud masque and applied it with fervor to my entire face (lest other pores of mine decide to up and form a barbershop quartet). and so i sat with it last night, as i blogged (yeah, sorry about the cranky tone last night, oops), letting the masque do its thing.
oh, and i could feel it working. tingling. and eventually hardening. i waited a good long time, didn't rush it, knowing -- just knowing -- that i had conquered the damn thing.
so when i went to the bathroom 40 minutes later, i was eager to see my (and the masque's) handiwork.
and as i looked at my face, covered in dried, cracked, green mud -- i saw it.
the zit who lived.
the zit had somehow managed to, i dunno, EAT the masque. because when i looked in the mirror, all my face was covered in masque EXCEPT the zit. it was just sitting there, whistling, twiddling its thumbs.
and smirking at me.
apparently not.
this stupid thing is absolutely determined to be the 11th member of my a cappella group, and at this point, i'm ready to let it. maybe it can sing the descant.
seriously, after doing everything one does to properly (and swiftly) eradicate a sizeable blemish, i thought i'd gained the upper hand by yesterday evening. i felt we were at a turning point.
which is when i busted out with the green mud masque and applied it with fervor to my entire face (lest other pores of mine decide to up and form a barbershop quartet). and so i sat with it last night, as i blogged (yeah, sorry about the cranky tone last night, oops), letting the masque do its thing.
oh, and i could feel it working. tingling. and eventually hardening. i waited a good long time, didn't rush it, knowing -- just knowing -- that i had conquered the damn thing.
so when i went to the bathroom 40 minutes later, i was eager to see my (and the masque's) handiwork.
and as i looked at my face, covered in dried, cracked, green mud -- i saw it.
the zit who lived.
the zit had somehow managed to, i dunno, EAT the masque. because when i looked in the mirror, all my face was covered in masque EXCEPT the zit. it was just sitting there, whistling, twiddling its thumbs.
and smirking at me.
3 words, Neutrogena Rapid Clear. It's a tiny tube, and I carry it around with me. I'm currently applying it to my own personal Mt. Vesuvius!
ReplyDeleteNothing better than a giant zit, a performance, a cold and cat pee all at the same time. Not advice; suggestions.
ReplyDeleteZit: vaseline will bring that sucker toi a head quick so you can pop it.
Performance: uh...break a leg. You'll be fine.
Cold: You'll hate this but if you eat a clove of raw garlic and go right to sleep it'll work better than sudafed. It might take a couple nights of this and you'll reek (and let's face it, raw garlic hurts) but that shit works every time. Serious as a busted leg.
Cat pee: 1st choice;kill cat. 2nd choice; give cat away. OK,OK, 3d choice clean litter box religiously, twice a day if need be. 4h choice; if peeing is revenge for not enough attention either pay more attention or see choice #1.
Your unsolicited suggester,
AndyT13
PS Feel better and knock 'em dead.
PPS I'm not qualified to comment on the eating disorder/body image stuff but it and all the responses
touched me deeply. You all rock.
That is all.
A
There is so much buzz around this zit I think your IIFs need a digital picture to effectively advise.
ReplyDeleteCrest tooth paste (original)...I swear - put it on the zit - and it's gone...seriously...
ReplyDeleteOrigins Spot Remover. There is NOTHING better.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried Windex?
ReplyDelete;)
K,
ReplyDeleteHave you tried steam? Towel over head over HOT steamy water. Sucks the sucker out. Then, tea tree oil. Seriously, best ever.
Second A above about the cold with slight variation: SWALLOW, don't chew the garlic and down with a pint of OJ. Go to bed. Sleep is the greatest healer, but also, if you are sleeping, no one else has to smell how bad you reek (aforementioned garlic)
Break a leg at the performance!!
Re the zit chronicles: I'm reminded of a Cindy Crawford article, in which she testily had the reporter interview her famous mole when she was asked one time too many about her "beauty mark."
ReplyDeleteSo I'm guessing that if you interviewed THIS zit, it would have a snotty French accent and be an arrogant boor of a zit who flatly refuses to leave the establishment.
Just a small thought. (Okay, very small.)
Oh, crap, are we twins this week? I have had this freaking zit on my chin, close to the corner of my mouth for TWO WEEKS and it will not die. I'm 43. I thought that was too old to have zits. I guess it's my punishment for not having any kids. AND I have a sinus infection, AND my damned dog has decided she likes peeing on my white carpet. Yes, we are twins right now.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeletedamn typos. what i meant to ask is when i become too old for spots? i'm thirty two years old and last week i had the skin of a thirteen year old with a glue habit.
ReplyDeletebah.
I recently read an article in "Real Simple" that detailed what health issues you might have based on your complexion. It had scary notes like "redness on cheeks" means you have asthma or breathing problems.
ReplyDeleteBut zit on chin? Means your period. Stupid period and its zit-causing ways.
"beauty" my friend, comes from within..and as much as some say beauty is only skin deep, one's sense of vanity can run much deeper...
ReplyDeletedo you watch "The Family Guy"? Did you see the episode where the son Chris has a pimple and he names it Doug and Doug talks to him and becomes his best friend and makes Chris do things, like rob the drug store of all acne medications, and then when he goes to the dermatologist, the zit pulls a gun on Chris, there's a struggle, but Chris manages to stab the zit with a syringe of cortisone (or whatever they use)? But there is also a part in the episode where Doug, the zit, tells Chris to put bacon grease on his face to "slather me up some homies." It was great, lol
ReplyDeleteMAN! I think out of pure sympathy alone, a Zit Who Lived sprouted on my chin. Dangit.
ReplyDeleteI with the crest works great. That or dig it out.
ReplyDeletecheck out http://www.livejournal.com/community/zit_fetish/
ReplyDeleteI think the problem here is that you have been trying to kill it. You are making it have to defend itself.
ReplyDeleteMaybe, just maybe, love is the most powerful zit remover of all, Kristy.
I love that episode of Family Guy! Too funny. Did you know Dr. Drew of Love Line radio fame does the voice of the doctor in that episode?
ReplyDeleteI’ve noticed my skin has been clearer lately. I think it’s because I’ve been religiously slathering ZapZyt (I think spelled that way?) to the parts of my face that are prone to blemishes (roughly 98.9%) and using Neutrogena acne face wash. Good luck and break a leg!
I agree with ZapZyt, Clearasil, toothpaste, and tea-tree oil. All respect to klucey, but run like HELL away from steam! It opens your pores even larger and invites more stuff in, plus creates a moist and wet atmosphere for bacteria to grow. Steaming is good for older ladies with dry skin, not for young girls with break-outs!
ReplyDeleteMoving on. Not to get too gross, but your zit ate the mask because it was pussing/leaking at the time. You put the mask on right after you washed your face, right? Right, of course you did. So you dissolved the head on the zit, allowed it to start leaking again, and of course the mask can't dry properly on top of that. Next time you do it, wash your face, LET YOUR ZIT RE-SCAB--about 30 minutes in a dry environment--and put the mask on.
I battle zits all too often, which I find to be strange since I never got them as a teenager. Guess it's my turn now! The crappy thing is that I get those demon zits that get BIG and RED and REFUSE to be busted! AAARRRGHHH!
ReplyDeleteHi, I don't know exactly how I found your blog, but I found it very interesting. I will return time to time
ReplyDeleteJeff - Nail Fungus fungus get nail rid