eSit-Down With The Knitting Mafia

i received an email today threatening to remove me from one of the

knitting blog rings if i failed to post more knitting-related entries.

this is not what it said*.

****

you call yourself a knitter?

you do one hat in the round and make your friend a scarf and that's all you have to show for yourself for an entire freaking summer?

didn't you start a poncho like, last year?

weren't you going to have KnitterStacy teach you how to make a sweater?

don't you have a nephew who'd look SO CUTE in about nine hundred million different things you could ACTUALLY knit and (probably) not screw up?

how many scarves are you working on at this very moment?

uh huh. three. is that supposed to impress me? did you or did you not start one of those in june?

that's what i thought.

and um, didn't you get a camera for your birthday? wasn't that supposed to inspire you to take more photos of your knitting projects? yeah, good job with that.

look. it's okay. i'm sounding harsh. but kristy, i think you should realize that knitting's not for everyone. i know you have the best intentions, but have you seen your ex-boss's blog lately? or her friend's -- you know, the one who tagged you** and who started knitting a few hours ago and who has already created her own patterns? uh huh. visited purl much recently?

you have to understand, kristy, that we really are a family here...here in this knitting stratum of the blogosphere. and i'm not really saying that your sisters are more valuable than you. but frankly, we're a little concerned. because to be a respected member of this family, kristy, we have to ask that you...produce.

and i think we both know you are not producing.

so where does this leave us?

i am not saying that you are no longer welcome in our family, kristy. i am just hoping that we can find some mutually agreeable solution. do you think that might be possible?

because i'd hate to see you...you know...leave us.

so why don't you think about it, hmm? maybe take some time over lunch, use that yarn in your bag to work on that checkerboard scarf you claim to have started. and uh, if you should want to photograph that work and go ahead and post those photos, well, i cannot say i'd be disappointed.

okay?

okay. i'm glad we had this little chat.

you have a good day.




*but it was TOTALLY implied. i swear.

**i'll get to that soon, promise.