Prom Picture Round-Up: Vote For Your Favoritest!

Prom, prom, prom. Everything about it is uncomfortable and silly and wonderful for so many reasons. The planning, the nine hundred million phone calls, the months of scouring teenage magazines for hair and makeup ideas. It's my personal belief that were it not for proms, curling irons would have gone the way of the crimp.

For no reason at all (it's not prom season, I don't know any teenagers, no one is even discussing prom), I asked you to send me your prom pictures. For the sole purpose of posting them here for us to laugh at.

Huh? What's that? Laugh with? With. Oh yes, laugh with.

Every single entry is special in its own way. I've categorized them just for fun, not for any official reason. I invite you to peruse, enjoy, and comment on your favoritest photo. (Of course, it can be your favorite for any reason: ridiculousness, attractiveness, amount of hair spray...it's up to you.)

Also, while I am adding "color" commentary, please do not take my comments personally. They are intended kindly and in good humor. Because seriously.

I'll leave the voting open through Valentine's Day. The winner of the most votes for favoritest will receive a $50 gift card from yours truly. One random entrant will receive a $25 gift card, also from me. Just because this is so much fun.

Thanks to all who entered.

And now I invite you to sit back, relax, get a cup of coffee, and enjoy!


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In the category of: FAMILY FIRST

I have also decided to kick this off with some photos of my sisters. Without their consent. Because if I'm going to dredge up photos and reminisce about our teen years, doing stuff to annoy my sisters seems perfectly fitting.


1. Wow! Look at Those SMILES!

This is my younger sister, Healy -- a freshman -- preparing to head to MY SENIOR PROM with one of my classmates who she may or may not have been dating. She was very secretive about the whole dating-Kevin/not-dating-Kevin thing. Can't imagine why -- look how happy and comfortable they both look!

No, no, no need to hold my hand or put your arm around me. Upper-arm bumping is plenty intimate, thanks.


2. Another Happy Couple!

A few years later, Healy went to a different prom at a different school with a different guy she also wouldn't admit to dating. I won't comment on that -- although I'd feel remiss if I didn't direct you to his website -- but my point is that these factors combine to make her wearing the same dress to a second prom okay.


3. Why They Don't Have Sofas in the Dressing Room

This is mostly a sweet picture, and I think my sister, Sam, looks gorgeous AND slim. But no one should ever take a picture of a woman in her prom dress while she's sitting.

Remember how much fun that was? Discovering that you could either breathe or ride in the limo, but not both? Nothing says elegant like turning blue in a rented-by-the-hour moving vehicle. Careful, the turns are tricky!


In the category of: GOING TO THE CHAPEL?

4. Always a Bridesmaid

I love this photo for two reasons.
#1 This is really a prom, not my sister's bff's wedding; and
#2 Not one but TWO of the guys here were gay-but-not-out yet.

Ah, high school. Such a magical time of hairspray and repression.


5. Cake Topper

Mendy writes: ...being that it's from 1988, there's a 4-bone hoop underneath it, and yes, that is a white lace overlay. I just wish I had a picture of the back. It was a spectacular mess of iridescent white ruffles. The 80s...they were not kind.

Oh, Mendy. It's okay...though it does look like someone took a giant-sized pastry bag and frosted the shit out of you and your wedding dress. And when they were putting the finishing touches on the cream-puff sleeves, they dripped some into your hair.

I mean this in the kindest way possible. I sincerely love that you have a Prom Scrunchie. That should count for something. And blaming the 80s is entirely appropriate. Blaming Princess Di would be even better.


RELATED: At this point I'm tempted to start a contest for Tackiest Prom Backdrop, except I don't know how we could ever pick a winner. They are all so bad. (Mine, which I'll post separately, are exceptional.)


6. Heeeeeere's...the Mother of the Bride?

Cathy writes: ...[this] is me at Junior Prom in Memphis in the 80's. Dig the entire bush of baby's breath in my hair that I totally kept in my hair for school the next day.

I think this is a beautiful dress (on a beautiful woman, clearly), but even for the 80s it's a bit...white? Sophisticated? Long?

My favorite part about this photo, though, is that both of these prom-goers are looking left and raising their arms in what looks to be a sweeping motion(?). Like game show hostesses about to display a lifetime supply of soup.

And the soup? Is making them miserable.


7. The Incredible Shrinking Prom-Bride

Kate writes: It's not really that hideous or tacky, though I really could have used a bra. And my god, the permed hair. I blame my mother.

While this prom picture is awesome in many, many ways, my favorite aspect of it is, well, the aspect of it. Most fake wood paneling I've seen is maybe 4" to 6" wide. These GIANT panels (set off by the lovely lily-pad green carpeting, I should add) make Kate look like she's the size of a leprechaun. Or a prom-bride-fairy.

A prom-bride-fairy with a perm.


7-and-3/4. Don't Ask, Don't Tell.


I am sorely remiss in posting this AWESOME contribution a little late (added 2/6 at about 9 p.m.) First of all, Willie/Bill is the only male who entered the contest, and he should be lauded for that alone. Secondofly, this photo is the kind that makes my entire insides happy.

The wallpaper alone would make this an outstanding entrant. Especially when you look closely...is that carpet blue?

Then there's the standard stuff...the date who looks like she's going to her wedding, her corsage which is notably larger than her breasts, Bill's bowtie that is -- quite noticeably -- larger than his face. It's all so good.

But it's the look in his eye paired with his suggestive lean that makes this photo great. And then? Then you read his email and it escalates into other-worldliness.

Bill/Willie writes: I was a virgin but hoping to get lucky (and sending out the wooden signals ...) I got nothing but a goodnight peck, so I went gay! Haven't looked back.



In the category of: BRUISED? NO, I'M JUST BLACK AND BLUE


8. Before There Was a Prius, There Was the 90s

Swistle writes: ...picture from 1990. We are, yes, UNDER A GIANT UMBRELLA. Also, my dress had sequins, PURPLE sequins, and a huge purple rose-like thing which emphasized my lack of problem going braless.

Swistle, I'm not arguing that the dress is purple, it just didn't photograph that way. Also, I am not clear as to whether the umbrella was because of rain or because the 80s were looming over you and your date like some great fashion challenge.

The hair bow is pretty spectacular. I especially like how you weren't committing to wearing your bangs down OR sprayed up, but sported the early 90s bangs-hybrid.


9. Violet! You're Turning Violet, Violet!

Paloma writes: In my quest to find the "perfect" dress for my Senior Prom I came up empty-handed. So I chose to have my Mom make my dress. I picked out the pattern, the material, and told her what parts to alter to my taste. Fourteen years later I can see that I looked like a giant blueberry.

Only a little.

Loooooooove the backdrop here. First you have the shimmery, mirrored floor (um, good thing you weren't wearing a short dress?). Then there's the inexplicable bunched-up gauze with fake flowers strewn about to resemble...I honestly have no idea what. A wedding cake? A snow bank? WHO'S TO SAY? But once you have mirrors and non-snow, I think it's only fitting that you add a pillar(?) and a giant starchy piece of fabric with glued-on stars, and then have it glow. Red.


10. It Was So Nice Of The Cullens To Let You Use Their Home for Photos, Part I

Megan writes: This is from 1986 and, from the dress to the date, it is 80s all the way.

I...the color...and the pinwheel...and the haircut...I mean, on both of you...it's...words... You kind of grabbed 1986 by the balls and said, "YES. I'M WITH YOU."

11. It Was So Nice Of The Cullens To Let You Use Their Home for Photos, Part II

This is Megan again, two years later (at Homecoming). She writes: This is 1988 and I am wearing the largest, widest shoulder pads ever created out of black velvet.

But the football team would have looked smashing in them.


12. Drama Queen

Liz writes: It was 1989, and if I remember correctly, I borrowed the hat from my drama teacher. What you can't see are the black masks on one ankle of my stockings. Don't worry, I saved that in my scrapbook, too.

Because with the hat.

Exhibit 12a:

Would it come as a surprise to you if I said that Liz is a director in her post-prom life? No?


In the category of: EVEN THE NORMAL PICTURES BRING A LITTLE BIT OF AWESOMENESS TO THE TABLE


13. Now That You're Graduating, Show Us Yer Tits!

Sahara writes: This photo is from Prom in spring of 1995, I was 16 (date was 17). Prom theme was "Mardi Gras" (show yer boobs and get smashed, what?). I was apparently going for the "luxe sofa" look, what with the black and white brocade. And fake pearls that didn't lie straight, but were all crooked and kinked. Rad.

There is really nothing wrong with Sahara's look here. I do enjoy that her date has been posed to suggest that he is very, very, very, very comfortable wearing a tux. What? I was just standing here in front of these giant multicolored masks like always.

But the Mardi Gras theme is what makes this picture precious. Absolutely nothing I know about Mardi Gras makes it an appropriate theme for a prom. I mean, is the rest of your life supposed to be like Lent? Or are you just supposed to flash your boobs, win some tacky beads, drink hurricanes the size of your geometry text book and then puke in the street? Because either way, Sahara and her date are not dressed for it.


14. Aw, You Know You Wish You'd Been Around for the 80s

AmyB and her date look adorable and while the backdrop leaves a lot to be desired (where are the stars? The strewn flowers?? The pillars???), I wouldn't have much to make fun of here.

Lucky for me, I don't have to.

AmyB writes: ...after dragging my poor, single mother around to a hundred stores, I finally convinced her to let me have my senior prom dress made. I totally designed the whole thing - a red, brocade halter style dress - which was a clear indicator that I did NOT have a future in design. Please allow me to point out my favorite parts of this (PROFESSIONAL!) photo: My dyeable shoes in complementary color; my nose, which I eventually grew into; my 'First Lady' circa 1965 hair-do; and my caterpillar friends, Hairy and Belafonte, both of whom can be seen hanging out above my googly eyes. Hey, at least my date was cute!


15. Is It Me, Or Are Teenagers Getting Younger Every Year?

Remember our lovely friend, Mother of the Bride above? Well, she's actually the mother of this prom-goer. Cathy writes: [picture is of] my daughter, Sarah's prom in Knoxville last year. Hard-headed teen REFUSED to wear a long dress.

Again, I'd be hard-pressed to point out any ridiculousness here -- although the date's hair is maybe just a few degrees TOO windswept -- but again, I'm rescued. Cathy adds: Her hair cost more than twice as much as the dress and shoes together.

It's tough being a girl.


16. White Shoes Don't, Actually, Go With Everything

This is quite a lovely photo of the contest entrant, SassyMonkey. She's the one in the center, looking stunning. If, you know, ever so slightly cold.

But I want to draw your attention to the lady in red. With the white shoes.

See, along with white dresses being verboten, my mother never allowed me to pair white shoes with colored dresses. She claimed that to do so would make me look like a Doublemint Twin. (I didn't know what this meant then, and I still don't. But it doesn't sound good.)

So a few years after my prom, when I was in college and not beholden to my mother's rules, I found myself invited to a Valentine's Day Ball at the US Naval Academy. I took myself shopping, and without my mother's input, bought myself a dress I thought looked smashing. (She hated it.) Of course, I can see now how incredibly ill-fitting a dress it was (was I wearing a bra, even?), but that's not even the point. The point is, I couldn't shake my mom's voice, telling me not to succumb to the allure of buying white shoes.

So I did NOT buy white shoes.


I bought white gloves.

(Do you hear that? It's me cringing, audibly.) (Also, I look about as happy as my sister in that first picture. Turns out? AWKWARD DOESN'T END WITH HIGH SCHOOL.)


17.
Alyssa writes: This was pretty much exactly five years ago. I love my dress but hate my hair! Seventeen magazine did it to me, not my fault.

Perhaps Seventeen magazine thought that if they encouraged teenagers to look like they'd taken a tumble between the sheets before prom, they'd be less likely to actually have sex afterward.

I'm just guessing here.


In the category of: SHINE, SHINE ON

18. U-wohn Day Yooer Een, Da Next Day Yooer Aut

Melissa here is just cute as a button. She and her date have the same amount of hair floof going on -- too much floof for these days, but rather controlled given that it was 1987 and bangs were known to escalate into the second layer of the atmosphere in such trying times.

But that dress? That is some shine. That is the kind of shine that gets your ass kicked off of Project Runway for even thinking about using. That is the kind of shine that if you're not careful, will be mistaken for one of the iridescent balloons adoring this prom backdrop.

Even better, though? I measured. And the Bow of Shine is bigger than Melissa's head INCLUDING her floofy hair. That gets extra points.

Ha, and speaking of extra points...
...I snagged this second photo of Melissa from her Facebook photos: Rotary phone with the twirly cord PRE-PROM, FTW!!!

"Why, yes, Mr. Floofy Hair, I AM ready, and I will outshine those balloons with the power of a thousand bows!...Uh-huh...uh-huh...wait, what do you mean 'What color is my dress'? I TOLD you it's pink-purple-blue-silver. Why would-- no, I don't understand. How exactly is a red cummerbund 'the same thing'? Uh-huh...no, absolutely not! I don't--[sigh]. Just be here in 20 minutes."


19. And He Melted

Melissa writes: This is my prom picture from 1988. I picked out a really cool black satin dress with spider web lace on the bottom, but my mother said black was not a prom-like colour. I got this -- yellow is close to black, right? Notice that the ruffle on one arm looks like it was added later? It was the result of a clothing malfunction from another formal dance at our school, when a young lady wore a strapless dress and "put her hands in the air and shook it like she don't care" and the cafeteria had a view of boobs. No strapless dresses at prom!

I don't want to seem biased in any way -- and I assure you I'm not -- but I love this prom picture a lot. A LOT A LOT. The shiny AND lace is everything a prom should be, and yet it's only the tip of the iceberg. Even with the matching? non-matching? shoes.

Because if anything cracks me up about formal affairs it's how the affair-goers are inevitably surrounded by those who are not attending. So you have all these super fancy-dressed people milling around -- always -- by people in street clothes. And (personally) I always think this makes the ridiculousness of it all the more pronounced.

The people behind Melissa are going to a backyard barbecue? The grocery store? IS THAT MAN (the one to the right of Melissa in the photo, wearing white socks and black sneakers and pegged(?) pants) SHIRTLESS???

But even aside from the color-- excuse me, this is Nova Scotia -- colourful people behind you guys, well.

Melissa, your hair. It is high. It is reaching toward the Sun. It is Icarus-like. What's better is that your date SHARES in your hair's aspirations. In fact, you could almost Photoshop your hair onto his head OR VICE VERSA and it would work! That's FANTASTIC. I mean, some couples share limo rides, share dances, share special moments at prom, but only the very special could share Photoshopped hair.

Um, and I am no whiz at Photoshop (it scares me), but I can clunk around Microsoft Word (yes, I said Word) like a word processing fool, and so here is what I was able to produce. Behold!:

I would not call this photo editing job well done, but you get the idea.

Anyway, as with the shiny Melissa above you, I love very much that your date somehow decided to "match" you by wearing a color entirely different from yours. "Gold" is not "silver." Not even in high school. Not even to Icarus.


20. a2 + b2 = c2

Sara has a lot to say about this very special prom look, and I think the least we can do is let her explain any of this: ...[this photo] was taken in my mom's kitchen, but I can't find my pic with the lucky dude. Also, we had proms in junior high so this is from 7th grade (around 1991 I think) as you can tell by my lack of boobs (ha! I thought I was fat then). We had these faux sororities/debutant clubs...I think it shows some pretty '90s awesome - baby pink, silver lace, sheer gloves, big puffy sleeves, matching Claire's accessories. Plus the big purple glasses. I wish you could see my dyed-to-match shoes.

There are many things that make this photo special. The shine, the bows, the lace, the gloves (good lord, the gloves). But I think for me it's the action above the neck that I love the most. The pouffy hair fashioned into a 'do that makes the whole head look like a giant triangle, made all the more pronounced by giant (purple, you say?) glasses...that's just perfect. In fact, it kind of makes the triangularity of the whole look more pronounced. Like um...
Like so.


In the category of: NOTHING ABOUT THIS MAKES SENSE

21. Anything Except Print In Color

Okay, so here is what Gina told me: the girl in the picture [bottom right] isn't me, it's my next door neighbor. The year I graduated (1997) I was first on the waiting list (!!!) to borrow this dress, and wear it I did - belee'dat. Unfortunately, every single picture of me wearing the dress was ruined when my mom's house flooded years ago. I scanned this from my friend's yearbook since I felt it was too splendid a frock to be left out of this contest, seeing as THE WHOLE DAMN TOP OF IT LOOKS LIKE A COFFEE TABLE DOILY. In case you're wondering, the rest of it was eggplant-colored and made of crushed velvet.

And so while I do believe that Gina's wait-listed grandmother's tablecloth dress embodies everything this contest about, that barely warrants a mention among this AMAZING YEARBOOK SPREAD. Perhaps it's because it's from Canada(?), but I don't understand a single thing about it.

Why four pictures? Why THESE four? Why "We Can Do Anything"? What does that even mean, and what does that have to do with sitting in front of a fake moon? Why are three of the women wearing dresses inspired by table settings? Why does the couple in the lower left look like they're from a different decade entirely? Why does the man in the top right look old enough to be everyone's father? (Everyone's very ANGRY father, I might add.)

I am guessing this is meant to be inspirational, but let's be honest. This is an inspire FAIL.

Unless WE CAN DO ANYTHING is referring to the people who put the yearbook together.


In the Category of: WE GOT BETTER WITH AGE

22. Lady

Laurie is one of my favorite people in the blogosphere. She's one of those people who is a writer first, which is all too rare around these parts. She's also just sweet and funny and super smart AND super cute.

When she sent me this photo, the subject line said "Prom p0Rn" and her entire message read: He wore Stryper t-shirts and big old high tops most of the time. Fabulous.

And yes, it truly is fabulous. Nothing says Stryper fan like a girlfriend in a black lace overlay prom dress. With glasses. And curlicue bangs. To Hell With The Devil indeed.


For those of us still playing along in the subcategory of Tackiest Prom Backdrop, I submit this photo for consideration. This isn't just tacky -- although did the photographer want everyone to think you went to prom in the sky? -- it's kind of ghetto. Where are the stars? The flowers? The wedding themed accouterments? The Mardi Gras masks? There's no glowing red starched paper. There isn't even a goddamned balloon. Just you, the purple carpet, and the sky.

Oh, and a plant. Because nothing says "congratulations for graduating high school" like a plant shoved into the corner.


23. Prom on the Dairy Farm

Julie writes: Here is my prom photo, from 1987. I think the best descriptor would be "Poodle Cinderella." Or maybe "Bo Peep with a Perm." ...my date is Brian. Brian and I are still friends even though I made the poor guy wear a pink cummerbund. I posted the photo a while back on my blog here - all about my hair over the years.

Note that the white gloves look slightly less ridiculous when your date is in white.

Um, Julie? This is outstanding. I don't know what words could possibly make this more outstanding. I can't even identify what makes this so great. The hair on both of you? The slight flare in your date's pant legs? The pink? The white? The pink and white? The tans? The hair bow? The garden growing out of your left breast?


24. Like Something Off The Set Of "The Magic Garden"

Darling, long-time IIF Carolyn writes: Here I am in my my plain white polyester gown that I felt so HAWT in. I can't believe I went somewhere without a bra, ever. But back then, gravity hadn't been such a bitch to me yet. ;o) Year is 1978 - Copiah Academy in Gallman, Miss. The fellow is my then-boyfriend, Travis Lindenmuth, and it was his senior prom; I was a junior.

If you can be objective, Carolyn and Travis are a fine-looking couple. But it's really tough to be objective about 1978, what with its gifts of the curling iron and Aquanet, flowy-sheathy dresses, and bralessness.

Obviously, the swing is the best part of this photo. I don't know what Travis is angry about -- his unfortunate middle-part, perhaps? -- but he looks to be taking it out via death grip on the swing's rope.

Tackiest Backdrop might just have a winner here.


25. The Punch Was Actually Kool-Aid

Jennifer writes: This is in 1975, OH MY GOD, check out my date's HAIR. And he was in a brown tux with a ruffly shirt! Ahhh, memories. My dress is a homemade number, nothing sequiny, just *puffy.*

I had trouble categorizing this one. Obviously, Jennifer's dress (and presumably Jennifer herself) did get better with age, seeing as we have photographic evidence of that fact. But I would have otherwise put this in the Going to the Chapel category because it is very, very wedding-y. In fact, the more I look at this image, the more it looks like a sweet and innocent young Jennifer is about to be married off to a cult leader.

I hope wherever Mr. Cult Leader is now, he's got a photo of him from this era on display.

For further reference:
Jennifer adds: On the right is the same dress, altered to become a Halloween costume nearly 30 years later. I chopped the sleeves and neckline, added pink lace, a couple pillows at the hip, and some material left over from some old curtains, and voila... Marie Antoinette, complete with a guillotine slash on the neck and a piece of cake on a plate.

Let this be a lesson to you, ladies. It may take 30 years, but you will find a way to repurpose even the most embarrassing dresses in your closet.


In the category of: AND SOME SIMPLY COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER


26. Howling At The Moon

Amanda, God bless her, writes: Well, after receiving two emails this a.m. enjoining me to enter your contest, I'm succumbing to peer pressure (so 1989 of me).

This was my senior year prom, and year two of mullet-dress look (short in front, long in back.) Although as you can see, this number certainly had some party going on in the front too.

In judging my photo(s), I hope folks consider how the silhouette of my hair complemented the fanning silhouette of my dress, the entire context of the photo(s) -- Camaro, white van, Payless shoes, date's knock-off Ray Bans...


...mom's boyfriend's trucker hat (pre-Ashton Kutcher) [ed note: !!!!!!!!!!!], the Lee Press On Nails perfectly matching that pink and that devil-may-care look on my face. ( I knew my date had a fake ID). If you do decide to only use one, and use the one of me seated, please make sure folks know that's not my date.

The moment this email arrived in my inbox, I thanked the heavens for Al Gore. Because if he hadn't been born, he couldn't have invented the internet, without which I -- nay, all of us -- would have missed the opportunity to feast upon this glorious work of beauty.

Amanda. These photos could only be improved if they were set against a canvas of black velvet. And maybe not even then. This is...this is stupendous. It's basically the prom equivalent of the three wolves t-shirt.

And that is saying something.



27. I Hear Jersey Shore Needs A Sixth?

Kris, aka TheWino, aka the woman I introduced myself to at my first BlogHer Conference when I realized that she'd brought the three giant glasses of wine back from the bar all for herself, writes: I'm pretty sure both the dress and the face I'm making defy explanation. It was Jersey in 1991. Enough said.

When I received this email and LOLed all over the place, I immediately turned to Ish and said, "You need to see the prom picture of Kris, it's awesome!" So he did, but his reaction wasn't what I was expecting.

"It's not a very good picture," he said.

"What are you talking about? IT'S INCREDIBLE!"

"Well, it's funny, but there's all that white stuff in the way. Is that a table?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


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And that, my dearest invisible internet friends, is the prom-dress round-up. These photos absolutely tickle me; I hope you've delighted in their glory as well.

But which is your favorite?

Comments

  1. I love them all, but that last one? I have no idea who that woman is but I LOVE HER.

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  2. quick question- are #7 and #23 the same dress? LOL!!

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  3. *still wiping tears*
    (*of laughter at Kristy's descriptions*)

    Gina from #21 here....

    -- these pictures were all taken by a professional photographer and chosen because they were the close friends of the people who put the yearbook together. A tradition at our high school.

    -- the moon and stars were made of cardboard and covered flimsily in tinfoil and were the only components of what was, BY FAR, the fanciest and most elaborate backdrop in the history of our high school.

    -- "We Can Do Anything" was the theme every year. Pretty much. Or at least a variation of that.

    -- The guy on the top right was only 17 in this picture. Because I'm from an Acadian French community, all the boys had full-on moustaches when they were 14. Some of the girls, too. (Fun fact: His name is Lee, and all through high school he went out with a girl named Farrah.)

    -- For the record, even Canadians recognize how tragic that yearbook spread is.

    -- Also for the record, I was NOT on the yearbook committee. Nor do I have a moustache.

    Thanks, Kristy. This post gave me a great laugh.
    #26 ftw

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  4. Healy's second prom date has three first names, and for that I salute his parents. That takes a concerted effort.

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  5. I feel really bad and guilty somehow for laughing at these pictures. Because first of all it's easy to laugh at the fashions of decades past--hey, in 1985 I had an asymmetrical haircut and so did 2 of my sorority sisters, and we all wore paisley. We all THOUGHT we were really cool back then and you know what? WE WERE GODDAMMIT! We were awesome. Anyway...the other reason I feel bad laughing at these is that I have no prom picture to share. I didn't go to the prom, or homecoming. I graduated from high school in 1984. High school was not good to me. I didn't have a boyfriend until college, when I immediately became a drunken whore.

    But, my 55 year old husband counts high school as "the greatest time of his life" (I wish I were kidding) and he graduated high school in 1972 and so, because his prom picture most resembles #25, I vote for 25. Especially the guy's hair and beard. Mark was a total deadhead (And jock, he says, although I question how the two mixed) and his girlfriend of the moment was a flower child. He was a high school manwhore. Kind of wish I never heard those stories. By the way, he's bald now, except for back, nose and chest.

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  6. They are all hilarious, but my favorite is #26.

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  7. Nathan from Rowaythan2:51 PM, February 06, 2010

    Healy and Kevin are awesome! When did you marry an Admiral with your white gloves???

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  8. Number 26 is definitely my favorite! That outfit IS the late 80s. I love it and all it's hot-pink, multi-colored, matching glory.

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  9. I....I....I....I don't know what to say. All that color and all those fake smiles. I'm kind of blinded. Is this some kind of cruel way to taunt teenagers? Like parents getting back at them for them being impossible to deal with at that stage?

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  10. Hands down the wino! Lawd.

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  11. Those are all so awesome! I have three favorites. 10 - only because dude's hair is awesome, 26 - the dress and hair are fantastic but her sitting on that guy's knee pretty much makes the picture in my mind, and of course, the last one - I would love for her to be my friend. I wish I would have sent mine in. I'm pretty sure part of it was an actual doily. Hot.

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  12. Hello, #12 here...

    #23 is my fav. They are fabulously pink.

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  13. Kristy, you have my adamant vote for best comment on #10: "It Was So Nice Of The Cullens To Let You Use Their Home for Photos" I am still giggling over here.
    But, #26 gets my vote for being "the most likely to appear as a scene from an 80's movie."

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  14. 26 is so 'Pretty in Pink' meets every other teenage 80s movie.

    A close second has to go to 10, the fringe of the date deserves an award in itself.

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  15. I'm going with #20 as my favorite because dude. That could me in that damn dress. I had the same hair, the same horrible glasses, everything. My dress was a little uglier, but sadly I couldn't find a picture of it to send you. It specialized in making me look as bovine as possible. Ghastly. #27 gets second place for sheer expression douchery. I LOVE IT. Bless.

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  16. OH MY GOD THEY ARE ALL SO GOOD. My prom picture would have just been sad compared to the rest of these. I give it up to #26. All the way. Thought I do love #19's yellow one-strap dress with random-ass people in the background. And the Cullen comments.

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  17. 7 3/4 and #26. I am sitting here reading your blog for the first time and am now officially obsessed and with permagrin from laughing so much!

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  18. I can't choose. 10! 12! No, 18! 20, with the Sarah Jessica Parker clone! 23 with the pink and white! There is no choosing.

    Okay, fine, I vote for 23.

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  19. I grew up in the Cullen's house, apparently. (So funny!) I have pictures of me at every Christmas Eve party, every formal dance, with random visiting friends on that piano bench in front of the wall of windows. (Actually that entire room is windows.) In fact, it's still there and you can come to my mom's house and have your picture taken, also. (I don't think she's a vampire. She's not sparkly.)

    23 is just almost beyond description. And I cannot get over the flowered swing in 24. And 26 does manage to out 80s me (although I didn't think that was possible.)

    It has to be 23 or 26.

    (Kristy, my blog link is www.acorndreaming.com, not a blogger one.)

    This was so much fun!!

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  20. #26, for sure. For the sheer max-1980s radness of it all.

    #27 is a close 2nd.

    My husband just asked me what I'm laughing about. I explained. He doesn't understand.

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  21. #9 PALOMA, LOVE THAT SHE SPECIALLY REQUESTED AND MADE THE DRESS JUST FOR HER, AND BECAME A VIOLET!

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  22. i'm voting for amanda in #26. anyone with a mullet dress deserves to win something!

    although i seriously do love the last photo. priceless that ish thought there was a table in the way.

    i'm now going to kick myself in the ass for not sending you my prom photos. i could have done well in this contest due to my hair alone...god bless the 80's!

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  23. I vote for #23, (Prom on the Dairy Farm) because that kind of pink-and-white his- and- hers coordination requires real commitment to Prom Style.

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  24. Cathy, #1
    Amanda, #2

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  25. This is Amanda from 26 -- or as I was know in 1990 -- Mandy (without the i -- and I hated that every time I got an airbrushed t-shirt). These comments rule and I can't pick a favorite (even back in the 90s, I went to prom with a friend both times). I love 27, mostly because I wanted her as a friend so I can borrow all her jeans. And like, I'd like to vote for myself -- or really my hairdresser, Staci.

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  26. Absolutely #26!!! Go Amanda!

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  27. I was laughing out loud at many, however #26 was truly one of a kind (like the wearer)

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  28. I vote for #26 prom dress/date...

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  29. My Vote is for # 26 Howling at the Moon The date is pretty slick himself!!!

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  30. #26, Amanda.... love the hair and the dress!!! and who knew our families had sooooo much in common!!!

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  31. The winner has to be "Hoosier daddy", starring Amanda. It's just not a prom without a trucker cap.

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  32. #26 - Amanda! Glorious - truly. I've never seen anything like it.

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  33. Amanda! Amanda! Amanda! #26 of course! Wish I had worn this dress, but Amanda wears it so much better than I would! Go Amanda!

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  34. #26 for SURE. Seriously...did we go to school together, because that could have been me.

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  35. I loved all of them. But, #26 is great!!! The dress, fake Ray-Bans, the hair and who can forget the truckers hat. Man I miss the 80`s!!!

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  36. #26! You can get any better than a hot pink mullet dress!

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  37. I have to agree with everyone. #26 is just plain awesome. And for the backdrop contest, its #24, hands down.

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  38. number 26 so clearly believe in the fake good time she's about to have, and how she looks pretty in pink that she must win, she simply has to, I mean it, seriously.

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  39. #26 had me laughing so hard I might have peed.

    #18 and #7 were close seconds though.

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  40. These is genius. And I commend you for NOT making fun of the actually-hideous dresses that some of these women still claim to like...

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  41. #6 They look like they could be actors in a Godfather movie! Also like #22 Howling at the moon. They totally represent the 90'2!

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  42. Sorry, meant #26 and the 90's!

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  43. This post was absolutely hysterical. I don't know what I enjoyed more, the photos, or your commentary! I think my favorite has to be #26, but, really, they're all great; thanks to everyone who was sent these in to you!

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  44. Oh man, I'm gonna have to go with #23 and #26. I actually had decent hair and a nice dress for my formal because of my mother. She saved me. I was begging her to choose dresses like these and acting like a moody teenager didn't talk to her for weeks after I didn't get my way. She made me get my dress because I, like so many others here, thought that dresses like these were great at the time lol Great prom post, I had a great laugh with these!

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  45. #26!! I was at the prom with Amanda and didn't look even half that good!

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  46. After hours of deliberation, I have to go with No. 26. The combination of the Roseanne Roseannadanna hairdo as well as the extra layers of tissue paper at the bottom get my vote. Amanda refrained from wearing white shoes and opted for the Payless simulated leather matching pumps. That was the clincher for me. I suspect everyone is honored just to be nominated.

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  47. #26 all the way.

    LOFL on "The prom equivalent of the three wolf shirt". Brilliant!

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  48. I made the mistake of looking at this at work. I do believe I have caused myself physical harm in the effort to stifle out loud laughing. I will vote from home where I can look at them all again. Don't think I can keeping from losing it here at work.

    oh my.

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  49. I love love LOVE #26, but that is why I was one of those two people who told her she HAD to submit her pics. The pic with her mom's boyfriend is so great.

    Runners-up from me: 10, 23, and 27.

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  50. Wow, that's some pretty stiff competition! I'm tempted to go with the one of you because your white gloves are truly horrifying, especially combined with your date's cummerbund being a totally different color of orange.

    But I'm going with #10 Megan because her date looks EXACTLY like my first boyfriend Tom Vulovic did in 1984. And I mean EXACTLY. Go Flock of Seagulls hair!

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  51. Number 26 it is! FTW! I would SO wear that dress. I love all the tulle, it's deeelicious. Thanks for cracking my s*&t up this morning - oooh thinking of high school just makes me shudder!

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  52. These are just amazing. Frankly, I'm a little embarrassed about being #14 when I'm up against #23 & #26...I mean WOW, I'm in awe!

    For the record, I really *do* wish I'd been a real part of the 80's. Just think about what kind of pics I could have sent then!! ;o)

    I vote for #26 - Ms. Mullet Dress. It's just too damn fantastic for words, although your words did mighty fine justice, Kristy! Thanks for the laughs!

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  53. These are all so, so awesome that but I don't have time to comment on them. I say the real winner here is YOU for this contest idea and your commentary.

    I am so torn between #10, #19, and #26. The pain of those photos is truly exquisite. And you commented about the sweat pants guy in #19 but WHAT is going ON with that chick (?) in the white...shirt/dress/swimsuit/thing?? I think I am going to have to go with my gut here and vote for #10. Thank god I wasn't sylish in the 80s.

    THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!!

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  54. #26--- totally whack!

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  55. I'm the other one who told #26 she had to submit her photo. You should see the other funny shit she has from high school. Maybe if I'd had her high school experience, I wouldn't have ripped my prom picture in two a few years back.

    BTW, I had never seen the pic with mom's-trucker-boyfriend. Who knew it could get better than fake-Ray-Ban-guy?

    #26 all the way. She'll always be prom queen in my heart.

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  56. 23 makes me think of pink & white icing! But Amanda's picture with her mom's boyfriend is the funniest I have ever seen! Go Amanda #26 (1/2)! Best hair ever!

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  57. Picture #26 perfectly encapsulates all of the tragic fashion and trends of the 80s. That said, she is also one of the only girls (aside from #27) who look they were absolutely LOVING the whole prom shebang. #26 FTW!

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  58. I love them all. This is the kind of posts I live for... With the majority so far, I vote for #26. Amanda appears to be having the kind of fun, before prom no less, that I always wished to have. It's not just the dress - Amanda looks like she *is* the party. And though it's a mighty eyesore of color, I love everything about it.

    I also LOVE #6 because I love "period" clothing and photos. I love the fact that she already looks like a mother in this photo, who disapproves of her daughter wearing the cheap & tacky open-back swimsuit style dress, who's hairdresser apparently forgot to curl the hair framing her face. No wonder the photo was taken from the back...

    But I give props to #s 8 and 18. They both remind me of the first prom I attended - shiny, asymmetrical, big-ass bow, and again, shiny shiny shiny. Oh, how I miiiiiiiss the eighties...

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  59. These are fantastico! I can't decide- #26 is great- love how she is having fun.
    But #7 and 3/4 is hilarious- that lean in- I noticed right away- along with his wicked expression.

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  60. I vote for #26 ... Amanda is one unstoppable lady!!

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  61. #10 - The dress and their hair....wow!!!

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  62. #10! I remember when those 'necklines' were the ultimate, and the hair (and date) are priceless!

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  63. All of these are absolutely brilliant, but I have to go for the triangle trifecta (even though it's more of a trifecta squared!) - #20. #26 is a very close second.

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  64. I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and say #26. That dress! The hair! Too good.

    PS- I've been reading for a while, but I don't think I've ever commented? Just wanted to say that I really enjoy your blog! : )

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  65. It's a tough call, but I think I'm going to have to go with No. 20.

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  66. The dress and the hair in #10 is noq permanently etched into my memory bank to recall for fits of laughter in the future. Thank you! :)

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  67. So tough to pick. They are all so good! But I narrowed it down to #6 and #23

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  68. It is SO very difficult to pick just one. (Had I found my fabulous plaid taffeta number, I just know I would have won. HA!) However, I am going to pick the fantastic
    80's number 26!

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  69. #26 is hot, hot, hot! WTF!

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  70. These are hilarious! My husband said he had never seen me laugh so hard (I don't think that's true, but . . . .). Seriously, I laughed so hard I was crying. It doesn't get much better than that.

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  71. I have been sitting in my office all alone laughing my head off for the past 20 minutes. I cannot wait for this prom website you're starting because OMG... this was so, so funny. I'm going to have to get my prom pics from my mom now & do some scanning.

    I love them all, but #26 is definitely my favorite! Thanks for giving me such a good laugh today!

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  72. Geez, I'm torn. #26 is totally radical. But 7 3/4 just tickles the hell out of me. I'm the "prom-bride-fairy with a perm" in #7, and I never thought there could be anything worse than that horrible paneling and green carpet we used to have in our living room. Clearly I was wrong.

    I gotta go with 7 3/4. That bow tie! *swoon*

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  73. Those are amazing gloves, Kristy. Amazing.

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  74. #25 was the multipurpose dress. Prom dress, wedding dress and finally a Halloween costume with her throat cut, but I gotta give it up for #26. Oh my...I really don't know what to say. All the pink ruffles and the asymetrical look

    I did like the white gloves on the one girl who was dating the admiral.

    #23 was taken by her dad and oh my what an outfit. Her date was a very good soul to let her talk him into that pink cummerbund and bow tie.

    Thanks for putting this on. I laughed a lot about it. I didn't go to my prom, but had two daughters who did. Good Lord..what an expensive phony thing, but they loved it.

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  75. Oh, Amanda had me with the pink and purple "mullet dress". Rock it, sister.

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