And There It Is. I Am Old And Pa Is Hot.

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Prom contest pictures coming Friday!

I know 34 isn't actually old. I just also know it isn't exactly young, either; at least, it certainly isn't young the way this is young:

But at some point in my being at home(!) with my baby(!) while watching The Hallmark Channel(!) and not changing the channel from when the Golden Girls* episode ended to when The Little House on the Prairie(!) episode began, and I looked up to see Pa Ingalls digging or hammering or lifting or something involving him being sweaty and dirty and muscular and thought, "Whoa. He was HOT."

Now. Every time I watched episodes of Little House when I was younger, Laura was her cutesy half-pint self and I was her age. And I related to her (because all of us wanted to relate to her), even though technically I should have related to Mary because she was the oldest of three girls and so was I. But no one wanted to be like Mary, pretty though she was, not because she went blind -- although that was one of the more traumatic turning points of my childhood, to be sure -- but because Mary was boring and perfect and frankly, a stick-in-the-mud.

The point is, Pa was Pa. He was an old man. My love interests were limited to the likes of Willie (who was an asshole) and like, Almanzo who was too old for Laura and I both. But Pa? Absolutely not. Especially after he went on to be an angel on Highway to Heaven and then, well, died.

That's not the sort of thing that my age bracket of hot guys did.


Not only was I in love with Michael J. Fox, I was in love with Alex P. Keaton.
I'd like to say that was the last time I was infatuated with a Republican, but there was the whole issue of my high-school boyfriend (pre-Jim) and that is just another blog post and prom picture entirely.

ANYWAY. Pa. Dude.

Okay, so you don't see the sweaty, dirty, exposed pecs here, but that is because there are about 4 stock photos of Michael Landon from his Little House days and they're all proper and family-friendly and that's not at all what I'm talking about. (Even though he is giving a little sexy smirk here that only a man very secure in his sexiness could give through all that goddamned feathered hair.)

And you know? I thought about pausing my DVR on a scene where Pa is looking particularly beefyhot, but then I'd be the crazy blogger lady who is taking pictures OF HER TELEVISION for the express purpose of defending her claim that an old, dead tv actor was hot once.

(Ooo-weee! No wonder my blog brings all the boys to the yard. By which I mean two. And one of them is my cousin and the other is my husband.)

Whatever. This entry isn't a total loss, though, because I did find this in my Google image search:
One damn fine Michael Landon.

So, see?

I mean, well, what was my point? Who's old? What?

*I'm not giving you a ! there, because Golden Girls is underrated and hilarious, and that doesn't make me old, that just indicates that I have very particular taste in television.


  1. Pa? You mean Little Joe? ;) I was sad to note that with the recent death of Pernell Roberts all the Cartwright "boys" have passed on now.

    I always thought Pa was good looking, and I loved the twinkle in his eye when he teased half-pint.

    The crimping iron is SCARY.

  2. In that picture with the crimped hair, are you walking like an Egyptian?

  3. It's a good thing my husband doesn't read this blog, 'cause all I can is YUM!

    I totally realated to Mary : )

  4. Well, Bonanza Landon was super hot. The problem with his hotness in Little House is he was a Pa, and married to Ma, so it was kinda hard to lust over him.

  5. Golden girls is hilarious. I have always liked it and will defend it's honor to the death.

    Ok maybe not. But you know. It's cool.

  6. Wow. This post was... well I'm a little speechless there. And I'm a little grossed out to have to agree with you that Michael Landon did look pretty hot in that last pic. I'm not grossed out because that makes me old by any means, but I'm grossed out because old Michael Landon is ... well, gross... in my opinion of course.

  7. I had a similar experience recently with The Sound of Music. I hadn't watched it for about a gazillion years and for the first time realized how freaking sexy Captain von Trapp is. Meoooow! (I think the last time I watched it I was still crushin' on Frederic.)

  8. Oh yeah, Pa had it going on. But my personal crush was James Garner (remember the Polaroid commericals with Mariette Hartley? Circa late 70's/early 80's?.
    Before you scoff, I submit this for your consideration:

  9. Oh YES indeed I had a crimping iron.

    And Michael J. Fox still makes my heart pound a little faster.

    Kirk Cameron no longer does, but that's because I've read too much about him in his adult life.

  10. Golden Girls is/was awesome. I loved them when I was 8 years old, and I love them now.

    And yes, Michael Landon was hot. Bonanza was regularly watched in my household, because my mom rode horses and my little brother dressed as Little Joe daily from age 2 or 3 until he went to kindergarten, where fake 6-shooters strapped to your hip weren't particularly welcome.

    I've been to the Ponderosa ranch in Tahoe. Multiple times.

  11. chocolateramblings - I know. But have you watched it lately? It helps if it's on mute and it's a scene where he's working and there are no children around. The gross factor disappears entirely. I mean, for me.

    Erin - My mother was ALWAYS in love with Captain Von Trapp. That is how I was introduced to the movie, knowing that he is attractive to grown-up ladies, so I wholeheartedly agree.

    Although? Once my mom saw Christopher Plummer in the grocery store in sweatpants buying a turkey and that pretty much unraveled his captain-ness right there.

    Michele - If my mom had to pick one other favorite (aside from the Captain; see above) (and forgetting Paul Newman, because he was her #1) it would be James Garner. I have to agree also. (Plus James Garner is one of the more outspoken liberal actors, I do believe.)

    What's funny to me about bringing up Christopher Plummer AND James Garner is that I am pretty sure our VHS of Sound of Music had the James Garner commercials IN it. HA!

  12. I'm sorry, but Golden Girls is awesome. In fact one of my ex-flings probably only happened because he liked the Golden Girls, and I thought any man who was cool enough with himself to like the Golden Girls was cool with me. But it turned out, even though the Golden Girls continues to be awesome, he was never awesome.

    And man, that is some serious crimping lady. OH and Joey Lawrence will forever be ruined for me since my cat at midnight likes to run around the house going "Wooooooah." It gets old. Real fast.

  13. Three boys. I never miss a post.

  14. Captain Von Trapp looked really hot at the Golden Globes a couple of weeks ago. Or maybe at the SAG Awards. Or both.

    I mean, for an uber-old guy.

  15. It was pointed out to me a few years ago that Michael Landon had unnaturally enormous ears. Or maybe they just grew faster than most men's ears grow because they don't look monstrous in that second picture, but I am telling you, covering the ears was the motive behind the feathered hair.

  16. 1. I am STILL traumatized by the episode where Mary went blind.

    2. I used to not be able to sleep at night because I loved Michael J. Fox so much.

    3. Once, I crimped my hair and people made fun of me and I never did it again.

  17. I was (ok, fine, and still AM) a huge LHOTP fan. Now that I have daughters of my own, I have been able to expose THEM to the wonders of 80's family drama. They love Laura too!

    And you are right. Pa was hot. Hotter than Almanzo, fo' shizzle.

    Also: I too had a crimping iron.

  18. My teen crush was Jason Bateman (Silver Spoons & Valerie/Hogan Family ...mmm) and I'm so tickled to see he's aging wonderfully and still a cutie. I'm also ecstatic that NKOTB are around again, too.

    One of the more depressing days of my life was when, at 33, I realized I was the same age as Karen Grassle was in LHOTP. I was as old as Ma.

  19. Golden Girls is hilarious!

    and yeah, Pa/Little Jo/whatever was absolutely HOT!

    watching Little House now, the age discrepancy between Laura and Almonzo is more than a little creepy . . .

  20. I never thought of Pa as hot until I grew up because like you said he was...Pa. Now? Whooo! I agree that Almonzo was waaay too old for Laura. I even remember asking my mom about it and she said "things were different then" but she didn't seem convinced.
    Michael J. Fox as Alex P. Keaton will remain my ONLY republican love-ever. :)

  21. The Golden Girls is one of my all time favorite shows! Monday Night....GG marathon on Hallmark (but I'm sur eyou know that). I fight for control of the remote.

  22. A LOT of my friends watch Golden Girls, and it started in their early 20's. So definitely not old. (I've never watched it, but I do watch the Mary Tyler Moore Show. That's my "old" thing. I told my roommate that we were Mary and Rhoda.)

  23. Michael Landon is hot. I never thought of him that way until ...

    a volunteer for the nonprofit CTEBVI (California Transcribers and Educators for the Blind and Visually Impaired) told me this story.

    Michael Landon spoke at one of their conferences. (It was during the "Little House" era).

    One of the ladies from the organization did and up and down description of Michael Landon in all his masculine glory. Describing his blue eyes and what he was wearing so the blind and visually impaired could "behold his assets" as well.

    So to "One damn fine Michael Landon"!

  24. I would tap that Pa Ingalls.

    AW YEAH.

    Excellent post for all of us secret Pa Ingalls-philes. Laughing. I knew there was a reason I've always wanted to be Caroline Ingalls.

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  28. Always thoughy Michael Landon was hot, even in my mis-spent youth! Those pecs, that laugh and the cry-at-anything sensitivity. What an all-round hot guy!


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