Do Not Take Your Bra Off Before The Delivery Guy Gets There (And Other Phrases To Disprove My Point)

I very much love you, Invisible Internet Friends, because you know me. You get me. You do not try to change me.

When I say that I am afraid of my new apartment because it is cooler than I am, you don't say things like, "Kristy, that's crazy." You say things like, "Oh, yeah. I can see that."

(Okay, I'm paraphrasing. Sort of. But thanks for the encouragement, Sarah.)

Anyway, so I am currently in Ish's apartment waiting for the delivery guy. Because Ish and I have decided to change up our Indian take-out habits. Tonight we have decided to order Indian delivery. We are always living on the edge like that.

I took the initiative tonight, too. I found the delivery place and called and placed the order and got the cash all ready and have been fully prepared to have the food ready for when Ish gets home. Which is maybe thoughtful and sweet, except really it isn't because 9.5 times out of 10, Ish picks up the food. So I owe him.

Except I forgot.

I was just sitting here on the futon --

Yes. Futon. The man is going to be 40 this year, and he does not own a sofa. Only a futon.

Let me type that again. Futon.

Well okay fine. On the one hand, it's kind of understandable. He went through a separation, and since he was the one who moved out and across country, he was also the one who had to fend for himself in the furniture department. So he bought a bunch of things on the cheap.

On the other hand, this is why our new apartment is already not speaking to us.

-- doing what I normally do. Which is remember that I hate spending "downtime" in clothes that bind and thus remove them.

So, right. I took off my bra.

I have no idea if other people do this. (Do they? Do you?) Perhaps most women have a sense of "decorum" in their homes that's more like "all-underwear, all the time." Ha, ha. I do not live in one of those homes.

Anyway, so I was watching television and poking around online and started thinking about my last post and the comments and found myself getting defensive. Not because of the coolness/loft, uncoolness/me thing. (Lord, no. That's right on the money. Hi.)

But defensive because I do cook! Because I do love the kitchen and can't wait to use it! And I do not want my invisible friends to think that the kitchen will be wasted!

It's just -- well, since Ish and I started dating, I have made a concerted effort to actually cook more than twice a year. And also not set my kitchen on fire when so doing. And it turns out that I'm not (actually) even bad at making things! (Let us not discuss the chicken/red wine/ fig concoction that didn't so much work when increased from 4 servings to 12.) I'm just absolutely awful at making things regularly. I still do not know how to grocery shop for a whole week's worth of meals.

The point of this all is to say, well, I guess two things.

1. Hey! I sort of sometimes cook now!


2. I should really not get upset about people questioning my culinary skills when I am sitting on my boyfriend's futon(!), contemplating removing my pants(!) because I have forgotten(!!!) that I am waiting for Indian delivery. AND THEN PANICKING because I suddenly realize that at any second the phone is going to ring and I am going to have to run downstairs to meet the delivery guy and I'm not 100% sure where I've put my bra.


  1. first thing I do when I get home: take off my shoes. Second thing: take off my bra. I don't even have much to hold up I just hate feeling constricted. oh and I almost only wear pjs or sweat pants at home too.

  2. I'm completely with you in letting it all go when I get home. I put my keys in their spot, kiss the hubby and dogs then head straight to the bedroom to change into 'soft clothes'. Soft clothes are the best!

    Except soft clothes and a glass of wine.

  3. I'm in performance fleece right now. Bra comes off as long as I don't need to run errands later. BTW, your kitchen is phenominal. And your new apartment is too cool for all of us. It looks like an art museum. :)
    Good rule of thumb for shopping for the week is to keep some staples on hand. Have rice, pasta, and an assortment of spices in the pantry. Keep some frozen chicken breasts in the freezer. And depending on what your cooking repertoir consists of, keep some butter, cheese and milk on stock as well. Then throughout the week, you'll only have to purchase special ingredients needed for a specific recipe, and vegetables. If you want some easy recipes (I only started cooking about 3 years ago when I moved in with my husband-then-boyfriend) let me know.

    Jenny in SJ

  4. yeah, my bra comes off pretty soon after i get home...

    unless i'm waiting for a food delivery. i'm laughing because i can't believe someone else has felt the need to keep the girls under control until the food purveyor leaves!

  5. Reading your blog makes me laugh. It's so true. I run around bra-less all the time.. it makes things interesting for the UPS guy, I think.

  6. As I live alone i get to prance around in my panties the second i get home and then scramble for something to throw on if someone arrives. oh, and the delivery man has seen me sans bra countless times and i've never given it a second thought. i'm usually more worried that the pizza man will run into the chinese food guy and they'll know we ordered WAY to much food. hahahaha

  7. Clearly I am in the minority, but I tend to keep the girls tied up until bedtime. Not sure why. They just seem safer that way. LOL.

  8. You gotta show the new apartment who's boss. Make it fit you guys! I think it will respect your show of dominance. Put that futon in the middle of the living room and tell apt to get over itself.

  9. Bra and anything with a waistband are the first to go when I walk in the door. :)

  10. My routine -

    Unlock door, chase kids into the house, drop purse, hang up coat, remove bra, with great sigh of satisfaction.

    My 3 yr olds even say "Comfy now Mommy?"

  11. With a little tweaking, this could have been the perfect plot line for a porno.... Indian food delivery guy shows up, bra and pants come off, then :::bow chicka wow wow:::

  12. hell, sometimes i don't even wait till i'm home to de-bra myself! i've gotten to the point where i can do it while driving! LOL

    and, on days off, such as today, these babies never see the inside of a bra at all!

    Thanks, as always, for the laughs!

  13. When I get home if I know I'm not going out again or anyone is coming over, I change into my pajamas immediately.

    If I'm going out again or people are coming I just take off my shoes.

    I shop for the week - here's what I buy:
    Breakfasts: 5 yogurts, and a container of Quaker Natural Instant Oatmeal if I'm out of it, Grape Nuts if I'm out of them, a couple of bananas, and a pint of milk.
    Lunches: I pretty much just eat a pb& j sandwich so I make sure I have enough bread, then buy a package of snack pack apple sauces (yes, I eat like a 6 year old), and maybe a bag of almonds or pretzels or something to crunch on.
    Dinners: a bag of chicken breasts (TJs) or drumsticks (Safeway or TJs), bag of new potatoes (Safeway), box of cous cous (TJs or Safeway), stuff to make about three salads, some veggies to nuke, and some TJs frozen dinners. TJs has indian food that's just nuked. I have Safeway deliver two flats of water each month roughly. I buy fruit as I'm in the mood and as it's in season. Civic Center Farmer's Market is supposedly less expensive than Ferry Building's.

    Basically, buy enough dinners for 4 nights - figure one night you'll go out, one you'll have friends over, one you'll have leftovers, and the other 4 nights you'll cook.

    Also, I am only cooking for me, and don't have a car. I only buy as much food as I can carry home (about two bags worth at a time) - often on Thursdays I have to run out for milk or something I've run out of. It's okay - most people can't make it through the entire week without having to replace something.

    Sorry so long.

  14. I am so your people! The first thing I do once I get in the door when I get home from work is take off my bra. But there is a bit of a twist to my story. I had a mastectomy in 1995 and thus my right boob is encased in my bra. You don't know what panic is until you are trying to get ready to go somewhere and you realize that you can't find your bra/boob anywhere! I hate to admit it but there have been days that I've gone to work with socks stuffed in to my mastectomy pocket!

    There is never a dull day at this crazy cat lady's house..

  15. Soft clothes are a must for me! As I change into my sweats at the end of the day I always wonder how on earth I survived the day in those damn constricting clothes. I think it's the little kid in me that can't stand being restricted. Oh and you are welcome for the encouragement, its true. And thank you sooo much for the shout out-seriously!

  16. Kristy,
    We're clearly of the same tribe. I'm an off-with-the-bra gal as soon as I get home too. But if the doorbell rings, I'm flailing around on the sofa, trying to figure out where I flung it.

    And my shoes ... well, they tend to line the steps up to my bedroom, in hopes that I'll toss them in the closet instead of, um, downstairs.

    COMFY! That's what it's all about.

  17. I think people who don't take off their bra and put on comfy clothes immediately when they get home are just plain masochists - I mean really, what better place to completely ignore decorum than in your own home??

  18. I viewed the apartment slideshow and didn't comment because I am not cool enough to even comment on the glamour and magnificence of that abode.

    I think you're plenty cool enough for your new place. It's lucky to have you. And your bras.

  19. Bra? What is a bra? I basically haven't worn one since I stopped working to stay at home with my baby! Really! Unless I am going somewhere (rare) I don't even touch the things. I think they are horrible and part of women's suffering thanks to Eve eating that dang apple.

    BURN THE BRAS!!!!!

  20. I'm having problems posting, so I won't give you the full culinary suggestion list I was going to offer, but here are a few thoughts:
    If you don't have about ten basic dishes you can make quickly and easily without much thinking, make it a project to find them.

    Then make sure your pantry is stocked with all shelf-stable ingredients for those recipes.

    Learn a couple recipes for flexible leftover-using (stratas and omelettes, crepes, quesadillas, stuffed baked potatoes, paninis are all good). Plan at least one or two decent meals a week, and pick up the makings for the leftover use-up at the same time - that's two meals from one.

    Keep your meals for one week from one cuisine, thereby maximizing the crossover use of ingredients. A lot of people don't like to cook because they end up throwing away half their ingredients. If you have beans, rice, tortillas, tomatoes, avocados, chilies, cilantro, limes and cheese, you can make a number of different Mexican dishes, for example, but if you buy cheese, chilies and tortillas for quesadillas, then oregano, mint, lemon, eggplant, chickpeas and lamb for a Turkish dish - well, day three is going to take some seriously creative cooking to use up what you have left.

    When you get home, chop an onion and put on some water to boil. You'll use both in almost any dish.

  21. I am another one who sometimes doesn't wait to get home for the bra to come off! If I have worked a long day (10-12 hours) and it's dark when I'm leaving to go home, that baby is off before I'm out of the parking lot! :-)

    Beautiful loft, Kristy!

  22. I don't cook. I've tried, but it seems like after I make it, I don't want it anymore.

    "A bologna sandwich always tastes better at someone else's house."

    Re: bra. I take it off when I get home from work. I put on work-out clothes, if not jammies. I'm either in work clothes or work-out clothes these days; my casual tops and jeans never see the light of day.

  23. Since I was little, as soon as you got back home from doing whatever (running errands, visiting family, school, so on..) you changed into pj's or other sweat pants. To me, that's always been normal. When I moved out of my parents house to go to college a few years ago I was amazed by how my roommates would just sit around in their jeans and skirts and other "regular" clothes once they got home. I also always wondered what they thought of me when they'd come home from class and I would be, at 3:30 in the afternoon in sweat pants. Until recently, I would always take off my bra too, living with all women it didn't matter. This past year I moved into a house where I am the only girl and often find myself scampering to find a sweatshirt when I hear one of my roommates walk in the door. Anyway, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels restricted by "regualr" clothes.

  24. I don't like wearing shirts at home (I live by myself) so I change into a sports bra when I get home. Much more comfortable than a bra and less scandalous if I forget to re-shirt myself when the delivery guy comes...

  25. When I walk in the door, I put on my pj's. It doesn't matter if I have to go out again in a couple of hours, I do not wear good clothes inside my house unless I am expecting guests that are not related to me. If you are related to me, you must endure my pj's and the braless boobies.

    I come home during the week sometimes and take a nap, I know I have to go back to the school in a couple of hours but I still completely undress and put my pj's.

    My husband is not quite as bad as I am but almost........I've had on pj's since I got home Friday night as I had no where to go yesterday. I'm thinking about showering, (haha) and putting on real clothes before I go to the daycare to clean this afternoon, but I might just add a bra to my pj's and go stinking....just kidding.

  26. I SLEEP in my bra most of the time, so that situation would never happen to me. I just feel too "swingin' free" without it (and I don't even have large breasts!). :)

  27. I remove the clothes that bind too. I have been known in the summer to sit around in panties and a tank top. Tough on the early morning exterminator.

  28. Not only do I constantly remove my bra, but I do it so subconsciously that I usually just leave it where ever I happen to be and then forget it's there, so my husband will come home or a friend will come over and they'll ask, "um, why is your bra on the bookshelf?" And I'll say, "oh, yeah.. I was looking for that. Thanks."

  29. I used to be that person who removed my bra at any moments notice. But here's the thing, since being that person, I have had three children who were also breastfed (by me incase that wasn't clear) and so now, if I should take my bra off while waiting for the delivery, it's very likely that I will trip over one while running down the stairs. Couldn't you just see the headlines now? And that is why I keep that puppy on.

  30. What a funny topic you just shared Kristy! Oh yeah I'm also one of those who take offs their bra when they're home. However, I will really take off my bra before I go to sleep. I'm really comfortable when I have no bra while sleeping.


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