American Idol! Project Runway! Where Were You In The January Of My Youth!?!?!?

I remember the month of back-to-school, post-holiday winter bleakness as being dreary and cold and long and dull. And while you're in grade school, it's not like you have hot dates or wine to supplement slush-filled days. No. There was just the phone (and three-way-calling, which in my town we called "total phone" for reasons I do not understand) and nights filled with homework. And reruns.

Oh, sure, eventually NBC, CBS and ABC would re-up the television season with new episodes of the same few shows, but they were nowhere near exciting enough to compensate for the gray days of winter.

But now! Now there are hot dates AND there is wine AND there is Project Runway! And then for some crazy, Brave New World reason, perhaps because God really does love us ("us" = bloggers), who's to say, there is American Idol and Project Runway on ON THE SAME NIGHT. And I fall to my knees and delight in joy such as I have never known.

Perhaps I exaggerate. (Perhaps not.)

My point here is that this current television season is what the term "glorious" was invented for, and I would like to blog about it.


I have tried, at least three times, to keep a regularly updated (separate) blog about reality tv, with the help of some of my friends. But I have failed, because I simply cannot keep up more than one blog if I am to do anything else at all with my time, like work. Or breathe.

I also considered writing reality-tv commentary here, but failed (miserably) at that, too, because sometimes it's hard to write about with regularity.

It's hard to be brilliant and snarky and verbose on demand, even when something as rife with pop culture-y goodness as Twizzler Tits presents itself.


(Hey, I'm not really in the business of making decrees, so I realize mine kinda sucks. Will work on that.)

That said, I would have to say that the words, "If I were Columbo, I'd Peter Falk her" are my favorite to have ever been uttered in the history of American Idol.

Who cares if he's an improv guy? It totally worked.


  1. Oh, yes. Paula's Stalker, out of all the bad/weird/maybe-sort-of-good Idol auditions this week, was the talk of my workplace.
    I hope she was flattered.

  2. I loved the Peter Falk line too but the guy definitely creeped me out! I think Simon was a bit more creeped out than he let on!

  3. And i thought that they took the Paula Stalker guy out of context. I don't think he was trying to be creepy, per se.. i think he was trying to be funny.
    I'll admit it. I lol'd.

  4. He actually lives near me and he is part of a group called the Hairy aureolas. They are pretty funny. You can check himout here:

  5. Well, he got his 15 minutes of fame. That Peter Falk like was classic.

    And how about Abstinence Boy, bringing his message of Waiting-Until-God-Knows-When -Some-Girl-Finds-His-Whole-Scenario-Gee-Whiz -Cool to an audition near you?

  6. gypsy! i know! ohmahgaw! what in the hell was that all about? SO SO SO CREEPY.

    i feel pretty strongly that abstinence is creepy. (yeah, i said it.) it is just not normal, and i think it does more psychological damage than good.

    plus crazy chaste boy was HOTT. (for being totally f'ed up.) i'd like to introduce him to san francisco and a bottle of tequila if you know what i mean.

    and i'd like to see the look on dad's face when he got the subsequent postcard. hahahaha.

  7. I've started saying I'd Peter Falk Her as a random comment to things--it's my new "Dude."

    I tried to explain it tom someone but they just stared at me and checked their taser.

  8. I . . . I don't know why it says Tom Someone in my post . . . I don't even know Tom Someone.

  9. you know I have a great set of boobs and a nice big round booty and I am still single, just what can I do? I'm so tired of being some friendly advice this morning. I just wanted to know, has anyone heard of where can find local speed dating opportunities? I read about it on, however I’m really wanting something right here in my own home town. I mean it sounds like a great way to actually meet people face to face rather than online, which NEVER turns out for me, ‘cause I’m too picky, I guess. Please post any success with speed dating events here for me if you can!g by myself, I was wondering if there was a kind soul to give me


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