Friday, May 25, 2007

Ladies and Gentlemen!

The man coming to the stage now plays to audiences all over the Bay Area and beyond, a very funny guy, put your hands together for...


Usually I write stuff and joke about tempting fate and it laughs at me and concurs. I'll write about how much I spill on myself, for example, and the next day I'll end up with my shirt covered in Mystery Spots. You know how it is.

So I thought maybe I was being a little brazen with my post yesterday, daring to joke about my boyfriend's supposedly impending divorce and all.

Oh, you know? Here's something I love, something that never gets old -- Ish and I will be somewhere like a restaurant or club, and someone will ask if we're married. And then I get to smile and say, "Well, HE is." Ahahahahaha.

Whew. Good one, huh?

But seriously, folks.

Last year, the Friday of Memorial Day weekend was a VERY NOT GOOD DAY. Ish was maybe sort of laid off, without warning, from a job he really didn't like. (Talk about salt on a wound.) And given his then-tenuous hold on his "life's plan" (welcome to the club, kiddo), it threw him into a pretty sucky tailspin. That very day he began speaking of packing it all up, packing it all in, and moving to LA and scraping by and trying to make it as a comedy writer. It was bad. And that evening, while we were busy trying to think of the positives, there was a freak cat accident in the kitchen and my Sherlock kind of went crazy and then lost his footing at the same time Ish was approaching him and, as these things go, Sherlock managed to regain his footing all over Ish's face.

This is to say that last year, Ish spent Memorial Day weekend feeling both broken down and, well, bloodied and scarred. From his girlfriend's cat.

At one point over that weekend, he actually did the "pitiful milkshake" dance. He'd been explaining his situation to our friend Lisa, and somehow that devolved into his standing, slumping his shoulders, and then rocking them back and forth with his head bowed, sighing the words, "My pitiful milkshake. Brings all the boys to the yard. Damn right." SIGH.

It was hilarious, despite itself. (Maybe you had to be there.)

Anyway! Can you believe it's a year later?

Yeah, well. So Ish has made a lot of changes, grabbed a tighter hold on his at-least-for-the-forseeable-future life's plan.

And I've written a little bit more about him, since he's such a big part of my life. But I've been holding back, too, inasmuch as he's still technically uh, someone else's husband. Right. I mean, that's why I've never even mentioned his name.

This morning, the Friday of Memorial Day weekend, he got up and turned off the alarm. He went to the livingroom to grab his Blackberry, which had recently bleeped to indicate he had a new message. He then walked back into the bedroom, and read the key sentence aloud.

Turns out, he's divorced. She'd written as soon as she'd heard from her lawyer this morning. They're divorced.

Ish is a free agent.

So if you don't mind, I'd like to re-introduce him to you all now:

Invisible Internet Friends, meet Ish -- formerly of the pitiful milkshake, now "newly single" -- otherwise known as Peter Bartlett.

But you can call him Pete. :)

24 comments:

  1. *smiles* Kristy, could you maybe write about me winning the powerball lottery??? Hi Pete!

    ReplyDelete
  2. i'm listening to pete's video from his website.......and am convinced you have yourself a winner. any man with a sharp wit is a great man. not to mention i want to rub his head with reckless abandon.

    hi pete!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Weee, congrats!! Pete, do you have a brother? One that is not married and who lives in Minneapolis? :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pete,

    VERY nice to meet you!

    And - - congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  5. what a nice way to start a three day weekend!

    i was also going to ask you to write about your IIFs all getting fabulous jobs which they love and which pay maybe just more than enough to live on. pretty please?

    really congratulations! howdy, pete.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well thank god! I have been sitting on that juicy piece of information for a long time now... I can't tell you how many times I wanted to comment and ask about Peter. Actually, I just like the name Peter. It makes me giggle a little.

    Perhaps I just should stick with calling him Ish.

    Oo.. I guess now you've rejoined the "moral majority!" :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I used to love working for matrimonial lawyers and the best part was when I could call clients to tell them their divorces had gone through.

    Mazel tov on your new status, both of you!

    Kristy, it seems like you do great PR.

    ReplyDelete
  8. YAY!!!! A new chapter begins!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hooray for you both! K, your post made me so happy!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Where did the name "Ish" come from in the first place? Was it because you thought he was cute"ish"? Sexy"ish"? Funny"ish"? Silly"ish"?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well, congratulations! And I'm liking the new blog look too - very snazzy :-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. does this mean we can't call him ish anymore? i've become so fond of that monicker...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ericha2@yahoo.com3:34 PM, May 26, 2007

    Congrats! What a great gift to start off the summer. I'm sure no matter where you two are this weekend, things will seem sunnier.

    Yay to Pete and Kiki!

    Virtual Hugs from one of your IIFs.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Holy carp... I stay away for a weekertwo, and you change your look AND introduce your Ish.

    Howdy Pete!

    I've been lurking here for some weeks. Similarish (heh) situation. More like yours a year ago... I've gained bunches of insight from you. Glad you're writing, and I likes your style.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jeff(Cynthia's Husband)3:56 PM, May 26, 2007

    I have to tell ya(well I don't have to tell you but what the hell). I totally understand. I was the one getting the divorce and my now wonderful(in case she reads this) wife kept me pretty hidden as well. It was hard on both of us but in the end she was oh so lucky to get such a great guy. She says the best part about me is that I'm so humble ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love the email method of blogroll updating. You're on mine...

    :::waves:::

    Hi, Pete! Congrats all around!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi Pete! YOU've got a winner so keep being so nice or all us internet shiny invisible friends will....will.....well, we'll be really sad. For Miss K.

    And I can see how that whole Stanford MBA thing could really help you out to score more comedy gigs... : ) (But by now your classmates are mucky mucks and at least ONE is in The Business, so maybe it might help out after all...)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Congrats, girl! =) That brought a huge smile to my face...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hooray! But I do agree with the anonymous one earlier... I want to hear where the name Ish came from!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hi, K! I haven't run away! CONGRATULATIONS on bringing your boy out into the sunlight! Does he look particularly wrinkled, or did he pack well?

    Um. I have not had any coffee.

    Congratulations to Pete, now showing on a Monitor Near You, and to K, who got the chance to do a bit of free PR for her BOYFRIEND! BOYFRIEND! Who is not married to anybody!

    P.S. Also, Pete, um...condolences on the divorce, if they are needed.

    ReplyDelete
  21. That's great! Congratulations, guys!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Congratulations! Oh, and I think the Divorce Day Planners should include free coupons for U-Haul boxes and a 25% discount on the moving van for that "here I come honey - I'm movin' in!" post-divorce-talk. Also, I just clicked on the link and watched the little vid of Ish's performance. We are *so* coming to see him next month.

    ReplyDelete