If You're Not Gonna Wear Pants, You'll Need To Put On Shoes

Hello, and welcome to my post-conference world.

The BlogHer Business Conference was a wonderful success, hurrah, hurrah. I might write more about that later, but right now I am knee-deep in sippy cups.

Following the conference, I trekked out to the NY 'burbs to visit my friends/family. I'm staying with Emily and Nick, who have two-year-old Ella and three-month-old Annie. They live in a darling home with two dogs. Yesterday, I arrived here with Healy and Sam and Mike and my nephew Charlie in tow. And Healy's best friend and her husband and their new baby.

It was amazing. And cool. And really kind of terrifying -- this life that pretty much resembles mine in no way.

It's just...I mean, I read some mommy blogs pretty regularly, but it's something else entirely to experience this in person.

Somewhere out there, there are probably people who blog about Star Wars, and probably lots of people read those blogs and think they know what they're talking about. But what would those readers do if they suddenly found themselves aboard the Millennium Falcon?

Like, okay. You see the Star Wars movies, you read the books, you follow the blogs...and so sure: you think you're pretty well versed in that glaxy far, far away.

But I am here to tell you -- I have landed on Planet Parenthood, and while it looks very familiar ("Hey, is that one of those 'baby boppies'?" and "Oh, of course I know DORA"), I am officially a stranger in a strange land.

I have heard of poopy diapers, but can't remember the last time I heard an actual conversation between the diaper changer and the diaper pooper about the situation at hand. I know about the Build-A-Bear stores, but had never held a resultant stuffed creature in my arms before, nor had I ever had such a creature taken from me because it was Connie The Cow's naptime and also I'd better shush.

And the last time I awoke to someone bargaining with me, explaining that if I wasn't going to wear pants I should at least put on shoes and probably underwear, I'm positive there was much more vodka involved.


  1. While I am all too familiar with the last bargain, the rest is just as alien to me as it is to you. When I see people my age with children I just shudder to think what sort of mamma I'd be.

  2. I like to pretend I know what my friends with kids and sister-in-law are talking about. But the bruise/lump on my forehead from an incident with my niece and a triangle just proves I definitely don't belong in kid-land... just yet.

  3. is it selfish that i prefer my life to the mommy life? that i prefer your blog to the mommy blogs out there? coz i so do.


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