Friday Funhouse

Happy Friday, everyone.

[This has been a very busy week at work for me. I am sorely remiss in responding to your lovely thoughts re: the 9/11 post. And again, my American Idol entry was almost not worthy of posting, but at least there were pictures. Sigh!]

So you may recall last Friday I decided posting my search analyses could be a regular feature. I like that idea, so I'll include them below.

But first -- there's a site that Ish brought to my attention, and I believe that reading through the first "mission" is perfect for a Friday afternoon. Essentially, an improv actor ("Rob")pretends to get lost at Yankee Stadium. He goes out to get food, and when he returns to the stands, he pretends he can't find his seat or his friends (also actors). His friends see him, though, and they shout and wave to try and get his attention, but he remains oblivious. So other people start trying to help. Eventually, hundreds of strangers are shouting, waving, chanting and doing everything they can to try and help Rob find his way to his seat. Because people don't always suck.

By the end, I was laughing out loud at my desk. The video footage is priceless. Enjoy!

* * * * *

First up in search analyses that make me laugh...



Ignoring the first result, here's what I picture from the second one:

Man likes woman. Man is not verbose. Man wants to tell woman how he feels, so he goes to the Internets to get some help. He then sends an email.

Dear Baby,

I just want you to know that you have a beautiful body.

(Hmm, she might think. That's not the most romantic opener, but it could have been worse.)

Your butt...

(And seeing as how it DID just get worse, she probably stopped reading right there.)

It actually reminds me of the postcard Homer sent Marge when they were first dating.

[scrawled]Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you got a butt that won't quit. they got those big chewy pretzels here merJanthfgrr five dollars??!!!? get outta here [scrawled jibberish]

As for "condoms vines"... I understand WHY my blog came up (what with the photo of condoms next to the Red Vines at Walgreens and all), but um. What? I'm having a hard time here. Did we want condoms that look like vines? That um, grow like vines? That have vines printed on them? Or just condoms for vines? (Just how sexually active ARE your vines, dude?)

And as for: "behold, she walks on water alexis." I got nothin.

Moving on...



I just want to point out that:
a. someone went searching for "ridiculous website"
b. I came up

Also, we have AGAIN people searching for booty-related poetry. Perhaps it was the same guy from above, hoping to supplement his clever email with booty verse. I wish him luck.

And if "jiggle while you're wiggling free" is porn-related, I am a little skeeved.

Finally, we have my favorite...


I about died laughing at this for oh-so-many reasons.

POP QUIZ, hot shot: Where ELSE on the Internets could you POSSIBLY find humorous posts involving Sir Francis Bacon, knitting patterns, pointed boobs, vibrators, and nyquil all in one place!

My mother, she'd be so proud.

I do just need to say a few words here, though.

To the knitter seeking a pattern for a fanny pack:
Dearest, I hope you were kidding. You were doing a faux search, right? Maybe a gag gift? Because knitters have a hard enough time convincing the rest of the world that we're actually artistic and hip and interesting and creative, and that we've come a long way from producing monochrome shawls to wrap around our arthritic arms. You know? A knitted fanny pack is not the answer, no matter how much fun fur you use.


And in case you're wondering, I would definitely buy tickets to see the Nyquil Gel Singers.