Friday, September 15, 2006

Friday Funhouse

Happy Friday, everyone.

[This has been a very busy week at work for me. I am sorely remiss in responding to your lovely thoughts re: the 9/11 post. And again, my American Idol entry was almost not worthy of posting, but at least there were pictures. Sigh!]

So you may recall last Friday I decided posting my search analyses could be a regular feature. I like that idea, so I'll include them below.

But first -- there's a site that Ish brought to my attention, and I believe that reading through the first "mission" is perfect for a Friday afternoon. Essentially, an improv actor ("Rob")pretends to get lost at Yankee Stadium. He goes out to get food, and when he returns to the stands, he pretends he can't find his seat or his friends (also actors). His friends see him, though, and they shout and wave to try and get his attention, but he remains oblivious. So other people start trying to help. Eventually, hundreds of strangers are shouting, waving, chanting and doing everything they can to try and help Rob find his way to his seat. Because people don't always suck.

By the end, I was laughing out loud at my desk. The video footage is priceless. Enjoy!

* * * * *

First up in search analyses that make me laugh...

Like Red Vines, Only Chewier

Ignoring the first result, here's what I picture from the second one:

Man likes woman. Man is not verbose. Man wants to tell woman how he feels, so he goes to the Internets to get some help. He then sends an email.


Dear Baby,

I just want you to know that you have a beautiful body.

(Hmm, she might think. That's not the most romantic opener, but it could have been worse.)

Your butt...

(And seeing as how it DID just get worse, she probably stopped reading right there.)


It actually reminds me of the postcard Homer sent Marge when they were first dating.


[scrawled]Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you got a butt that won't quit. they got those big chewy pretzels here merJanthfgrr five dollars??!!!? get outta here [scrawled jibberish]

As for "condoms vines"... I understand WHY my blog came up (what with the photo of condoms next to the Red Vines at Walgreens and all), but um. What? I'm having a hard time here. Did we want condoms that look like vines? That um, grow like vines? That have vines printed on them? Or just condoms for vines? (Just how sexually active ARE your vines, dude?)

And as for: "behold, she walks on water alexis." I got nothin.

Moving on...

More booty poetry? Really?

I just want to point out that:
a. someone went searching for "ridiculous website"
b. I came up

Also, we have AGAIN people searching for booty-related poetry. Perhaps it was the same guy from above, hoping to supplement his clever email with booty verse. I wish him luck.

And if "jiggle while you're wiggling free" is porn-related, I am a little skeeved.

Finally, we have my favorite...
Nyquil Gel Singers?

I about died laughing at this for oh-so-many reasons.

POP QUIZ, hot shot: Where ELSE on the Internets could you POSSIBLY find humorous posts involving Sir Francis Bacon, knitting patterns, pointed boobs, vibrators, and nyquil all in one place!

My mother, she'd be so proud.

I do just need to say a few words here, though.

To the knitter seeking a pattern for a fanny pack:
Dearest, I hope you were kidding. You were doing a faux search, right? Maybe a gag gift? Because knitters have a hard enough time convincing the rest of the world that we're actually artistic and hip and interesting and creative, and that we've come a long way from producing monochrome shawls to wrap around our arthritic arms. You know? A knitted fanny pack is not the answer, no matter how much fun fur you use.


And in case you're wondering, I would definitely buy tickets to see the Nyquil Gel Singers.





13 comments:

  1. "Jiggle and a Wigglin' free, in a Wiggle and a Jigglin' spree." is the new Jello commercial song.

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  2. nicole - HAHAHAHA! I had NO idea. (i guess that makes *me* the perv!)

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  3. Pointed boobs AND battery operated boyfriends?!?! I think I now have plans for the weekend!

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  4. If you type ridiculous website into Google, guess how many hits it returns?

    About 18,700,000.

    We don't know how many of those 18,700,000 website the surfer scanned before coming to She Walks. Probably quite a few. Then he or she chose yours. You were the CHOSEN one!

    "Dear baby,

    I just want you to know you have a ridiculous website..."

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  5. nyquil gel singers put me on the floor....!

    and you and ish make me loff and loff (but there's no giggling).

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  6. K ~ I've been following along the Improv Everywhere antics for years. When I was in high school my friends and I would do what we called "scenes." We acted out dramatic and crazy shit on street corners and in restaurants just to see how people would react. I would sooo love to take part in one of these more fun pranks, or heck, even be fooled by one. I think SF needs a group like this for sure - I'd be the first to sign up.
    ~Tonya

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  7. How are you getting the search analysis info?

    let me know when the nyquil gel singers are performing. That may just be worth the trip up north!!

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  8. I just have to share the best ones from my website (which is in Swedish, so have fun reading it... hah)

    - seniors in mohawks
    - pantyhose sex
    - shitting

    I swear I don't write about people in the 60s wearing mohawks. Or pantyhose and sex even in the same entry. As for shitting? Um. No.

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  9. OK, so that should be "people in THEIR 60s". I have no idea if people in the 60s had mohawks. But I know my grandma doesn't. Promise.

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  10. LOL! These are great! One of my searches was featured last time -- :blush: because I hadn't been smart enough to bookmark the site when I first found it...

    But I can't believe you didn't bite on Dante Bonaduce...

    And for your ego -- You're the only blog I read regularly, who I don't know personally. :)
    You rock K!
    Dana

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  11. Not to sound too weird, but you were in my dream last night. You had one of those IFF meetups, but this time it was at a house in the city I live in. Everyone who came were local people I knew and you were doing your breezy elegant thing and we were all drinking cosmos and appletinis and had a great time.

    Funny thing was, you're so much taller in 'real' life. ;)

    No, I promise, I'm not a stalker. I've no clue why you were in my dream--I read your blog every now and then. Perhaps I could twist it and ask you why you have decided to start stalking my dreams, eh? Just kiddin.

    Happy monday.

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  12. I think we should all start a meta-blog logging the random and/or weird and/or disturbing and/or funny search terms used to get to our blogs!

    This kind of stuff:
    (((a. someone went searching for "ridiculous website"
    b. I came up)))
    ...just amuses me no end!

    Prudence
    http://prudence-tells-all.blogspot.com/

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  13. I keep getting hits based on the search words "how to have sex with a dog."

    I find that somewhat distressing. But I am glad to rest in the awareness that they leave my site, presumably, very disappointed. It's my hope that the disappointment depletes these readers that they stop looking for that information and go watch TV or something.

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