Space Heaters

so yesterday afternoon it finally occurred to me that maybe i ought to just buy a friggin' space heater.

$40 later* i learned that i was right. it rocks. no more frostbite.

also i finally hung lights and some decorations while playing christmas music and mulling cider, so it's officially the holiday season at...

at...

i think i need a name for my apartment.

Purl calls her place Chez Spinster, which is quite catchy but should also be trademarked. (plus i only have HALF as many cats as she does (as part of MY divorce settlement) so HAHA!) (uh, right. and who cares if i live in a space about 1/10 the size of hers?)

well, anyway, i need to come up with something my place is. other than Warm Through The Grace of Space Heaters.

*****

i always think that some amazingly, heart-achingly, made-for-lifetime-tv-in-december-ly romantic thing is going to happen to me at christmastime.

i have believed this since as long as i can remember.

it has never been the case.

like, okay. last year, TheBoy and i had some lovely evenings out on the town, but nothing out of the urban-couple ordinary happened. well, except that i got to go to a holiday party for a sex toy company, but that's just a super-cool time. not exactly romantic.

in years previous, my ex-fiance was considerate and kind and a fabulous companion -- especially on trips "back east." and he's the only person i know in san francisco who ever got to meet my mom. but still, with the romance thing? not so much.

and goodness. before him? gosh. i suppose there was my ex-husband. and together we had fine christmases, sure...but they were all lukewarm, romantic-wise. and he bought me horrible gifts. (totally shoulda known.)

and before THAT? (wow, i'm getting old.) pre-my-ex things are a little spotty.

Mr. Adorable was considered a savior at my parents' house one year because he was coming from new york when we remembered collectively that the liquor stores in connecticut would be closed for TWO DAYS in a row and certainly we didn't have enough stock for that and so at 7 p.m. on christmas eve he arrived with lots of beer. my parents couldn't have been prouder.

he was a great guy, but seemingly not for me. which i knew, sadly, even when we got to go skating at central park one late december evening. almost lifetime-movie-worthy.

erm.

i'd have to say that otherwise, the most memorable christmastime romance-like things i've partaken in come down to:

A: being 14 and a freshman in high school and going to a billy joel concert on december 21 with a bunch of my friends. except the group tickets we got included two tickets that were separate. and i ended up in them with the boy i was interested in (who was also interested in me). that was kind of cool. we ended up kissing, i think.

he was a senior, and brilliant, and was my first real boyfriend. we dated for two years.

(now he's a bigshot lawyer and a huge republican and i can only assume he still refers to the civil war as "the war of northern aggression.")

B: i was 11 and in 6th grade -- my first year of middle school. i discovered a note in my locker from a boy i liked. who liked me, too (it turned out). and i got the note just before the first boy/girl dance of my life,which was also the holiday dance. and so at the dance, we talked (which was nearly unheard of in itself) and yes, we danced.

it was the first time i'd understood what it felt like to have a crush that was returned in sentiment.

anyway, i guess have been rambling (shocker!). i just get all gooey at this time of year (even more so than usual) and can't help myself. i don't even have a point.

probably the only remedy is now watching some lifetime special about a bitter, lonely woman who finds love -- and the true meaning of christmas -- when she leasts expects it.




*because what's another $40 in december?