Sunday, March 20, 2011

On Chocolate-Chip Pancakes And Eve's Eating Disorders

As with every other parenting path, when it comes to "food," there's no one way that's right. Of THAT? I'm sure. But that's about the only thing.

So the question is: After spending a lifetime trying to figure out my own Relationship With Food (and even that phrase makes me roll my eyes), how do I best prepare Eve to not even have to think about hers?
Eve is holding the pancake to her ear, answering it like a phone.
Answering your food is not a classifiable eating disorder.

Someone commented on one of my recent posts thusly:
I don't want to make you feel bad and I'm sorry if this is an unwanted comment...But at some point this year I saw a picture of Eve eating chocolate chip pancakes at home. Are you okay with passing that same sweet tooth along to her? I am an overweight mama, too, and I'm trying to avoid sugar with my 14-month old, because I don't want him to want something I know isn't good for him. In a few years, I'll have to deal with McDonalds and birthday cakes (which he'll have, I know) but while he's a baby, I'm keeping him on whole foods. My 2 cents. Sorry to be a pain.

While I know that this remark was kindly meant, it upsets me for precisely the same reason the trip to the nutritionist upset me.

As a totally different commenter wrote:
I think that your (understandable) reaction to this nutritionist and her "song and dance" could also come from a lifetime of dealing with all of the stress, worry and unfounded guilt that comes with struggling with maintaining a healthy weight. After all, isn't that struggle what actually started this blog? And, aren't you still mightily fighting the good fight with regard to your weight? I would have totally been hurting having to hear this ridiculous oversimplified approach as though you did not grasp the concept of healthy diet/eating--when in fact, you've spent a lifetime learning all there is to learn about this topic. I am sorry this happened, and wish you the best of health!

The second commenter is right, of course. I think about everything I ever put into my mouth. Always have, always will. To be clear: When I went hog-wild with the sugar this pregnancy, it wasn't with ignorance or thoughtlessness. It was with deeply considered abandon. I CAN DO THIS IF I WANT TO, I'd tell myself before tearing off the head of another unsuspecting Sour Patch Kid or 193.

It's no different with Eve. I think deeply about anything and everything she eats.

Eve also appears to be in deep thought about her breakfast.
That it's smeared across her face is clearly of no consequence.

I was raised with very mixed messages about food. My mom did her ever-loving best to try to make sugary foods seem unimpressive and uninteresting, to complete failure. All that did was make me feel like eating "bad" stuff was "bad."

And while yes, she tried to get us to eat vegetables -- oh, how she tired -- I wanted nothing to do with them. (In my defense? There is nothing good about green beans from a can.)

ALL of this preamble is to say: there are two things I'm working on with Eve.


1. I don't want my daughter to fear food.
I don't want her mixing up fear or guilt or a sense of "wrong" with eating, whatever the food may be. Food Shame surfaces in all kinds of eating disorders, from the most mild to most severe. Usually along the lines of It's bad but I want it anyway, which means *I* must be bad.... Or some variation thereof.

My personal version of Food Shame is almost comical. I don't like being told what to do or how to feel, so it's almost as if I approach eating a good, big, rich meal like a cowgirl with a chip on my shoulder: Go ahead, TRY to make me feel bad about eating you! And then when I don't feel bad, it's like I've overcome something. I don't hate myself, I don't hate the way I feel. I win!

(And while no, I don't relish being overweight in any way, getting motivated to lose weight is hard when eating whatever I want is actually emotionally rewarding.)

I want to do my best to avoid assigning "bad" and "guilt" feelings to food.

To be clear, though, I do NOT want to try to neutralize food having any emotional value. I know some parents who try very hard to make food a non-issue altogether. I get that, I just don't live it and don't want to pretend to. I love eating, I think food is a wonderful, enjoyable part of life.

It's not the enemy.

Who said this was bad???

2. I want Eve to be exposed to as much healthy food as possible.
Like most of the kids I knew, I was raised on very basic, very bland, very processed foods. I loved McDonald's and I loved Skippy Peanut Butter & Welch's Grape Jelly sandwiches on white Wonder Bread. We ate casseroles. We ate meat and potatoes. We believed that Fruit Roll-Ups and Kudos granola bars were healthy snacks. We gagged at being fed vegetables. We ate all kinds of meals borne of the freezer aisle.

I was a teenager before I tried salsa.

I didn't know how limited my palate was. I didn't know how limited my exposure was. And I mostly didn't care. Food was a pit of emotional confusion and losing weight meant eating even less of it. I didn't want to learn how to cook it. Why would I?

But then a few things happened. America started growing more sophisticated. At the same time I was becoming an adult, the Food Network came into being, grocery stores changed, "foodies" were appearing everywhere...and I moved to San Francisco and started dating a vegetarian.

My entire food world changed.

True story: When I arrived in California, I couldn't identify fresh garlic in a grocery store. I didn't know what it looked like.

Nearly 10 years later, I'm still learning. I've greatly expanded my palate and preferences, but I'm still missing some basics and sometimes even basic recipes will trip me up. My knife skills are laughable. But I make good food, when I get the urge to try.

This means, though, that I find it critically important to get Eve to try everything. She doesn't have to like it, but she should know what fresh, whole, delicious foods taste like. She gets tons of fresh fruit and veggies and meats and cheeses and beans. She loves Indian food and Thai curries. She happily eats pesto and hominy and salmon and grapefruit. (She does not like eggs.)

She also loves french fries -- although given a choice, she prefers sweet potato fries dusted in chili powder to the regular kind.

And yes, I get it. I know there is basically no reason for me to give a toddler french fries, especially if she's happy eating non-fried foods in the same setting. Except in my head, there is: I consider it a total win if she gets that the fried foods exist and are tasty, but they're really just a component of a meal that has many other delicious (and healthy) things to offer.

That's a skill I still haven't mastered.

* * * * * * * * * *

A few weeks ago, on a whim, Ish and I decided to grab brunch after running some errands with Eve. We stopped in at a local place. Their special children's menu item that day was chocolate-chip pancakes, and I ordered them hastily.

At that brunch, Eve ate bits of raisins, melon, oranges, ham, cottage cheese, potatoes, toast, water, juice, and milk in addition to the pancake. I don't know what food she liked the best, but I know what food was the messiest and most fun to eat.

So to answer the original commenter: I didn't order the pancakes because I want to pass on my eating habits to my daughter. I ordered them because I don't.

Will you stop blogging now so I can eat in peace?

    53 comments:

    1. (Totally going to not act like I can offer you any advice or comments since I'm just happy my girl eats- the food battle makes me nervous). Eve is adorably cute! Those big eyes! Sweetest. Thing. Evah!

      ReplyDelete
    2. Very good post. I agree with you on all fronts. I have friends who keep sugar away from them at all costs. No juice, no cake at a birthday party, sugar free this, sugar free that. I see her little angles at 13 shoving boxes of ho-hos in their mouths as soon as they get to their friends house. I did the same thing. It's all about balance and moderation. Easier said than done.

      ReplyDelete
    3. I completely agree with your approach. If you were to never allow anything sugary or what some would deem as "bad", all she would want to do later in life is eat the "forbidden food". I think the real point is to raise kids who have a broad palate and don't think the only foods in life are chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, and fruit snacks.

      ReplyDelete
    4. Broad palate and moderation. Good plan.
      But who is the kid? there's no way Eve is this big by now. She was just born yesterday... right?

      ReplyDelete
    5. As someone who dealt with anorexia for many years, and now still struggles with trying not to fall back into bad habits, I think it's best to let kids just eat. Although the commenters meant well, I think there is so much pressure on us to make sure our children eat well, that when they have a chocolate chip pancake, we(and by we, I mean the first commenter) panick. It's not a chocolate chip pancake that is going to cause anyone to get fat. It's a sedentary lifestyle and everything in excess....gosh, I hate getting onto my soapbox, but when I saw your little girl with chocolate on her face, it melted my heart.

      ReplyDelete
    6. Those pancakes there? Were my absolute favorite as a child. Mine had whipped cream on them. I? Never had an issue with food or weight growing up. I've seen children of parents who are a little too strict with sugar go the other way and gorge at friends houses on junk food or at birthday parties. Moderation is not a new word. How to balance that word is the hard part. And your daughter is adorable. I could lick her. Wait, is that weird? I mean she is covered in chocolate in those pics.

      ReplyDelete
    7. Yes! Yes! I agree with your approach. I was raised very strictly vegetarian, organic, etc. and I still ended up with an eating disorder. I would much rather have learned to rejoice in food and eating than to see it as something so loaded.

      If the first commenter was trying to be helpful with her remarks, it wasn't obvious to me. In fact, it seemed almost a little troll-y, and very much like one of those always-appreciated "no offense, but..." remarks.

      Thanks for being brave and sharing your life with us!

      ReplyDelete
    8. I think it's great that you're thinking about this. My father enforced a very strict diet on my brother and I (in a very well meaning effort for us to be healthy) but it didn't change the fact that I didn't enjoy the foods he served. I always wanted nothing more than to please my Dad so it always really pained me that I couldn't be the healthy eater he wanted me to be. I'm finally at a place where I can eat whatever I want (in moderation) and not feel terribly guilty for it, but it took me a very long time to get here.

      ReplyDelete
    9. Love your blog! I am your newest follower! :) Erin

      www.purplebookbloggingmommy.blogspot.com

      ReplyDelete
    10. Yes exactly this! I've actually gotten into fat acceptance recently and Health at Every Size, because I realize that I am never going to be a size two, probably won't even be a size 8 again (10 would be nice)...BUT I should be eating properly and not overdoing it on sugar and crap because when I'm eating a balanced diet and when I exercise I feel better. I had disordered eating habits and exercised like a loon my senior year of college. And you know what? I never broke a size ten. I'm a size 14 now, and that's while eating everything and not exercising at all. There's a happy medium there and I'm just trying to find it.

      You're doing a great job, with Eve! I just wish that society at large would realize that "thin" does not equal "healthy" and that "fat doesn't equal "unhealthy," until that happens we can only do our best.

      ReplyDelete
    11. I´m also new and i really loveeed your blog. I felt so identificated with this post. I have a two year old girl and i agree with everything you said.

      I really do care about what she eats. I give her sugar also but i try to give her "healthy" sugar, when i can. Like homemade cake. That´s a way to eat healthy, yummy and we make it together (that´s the best part).

      Btw, Eve is gorgeous.

      ReplyDelete
    12. Sorry, I have to (respectfully) say that I totally disagree with you. I agree that you should not make any foods 'taboo', but really YOU are the adult. Eve is what - 2? There is no reason in the world for her to have sugar or treats now. Once she really gets what they are, you'll have to decide what rules you want to have. There will be many rules to navigate in your future (treats, sleep, tv and computer use) - don't start down those paths before you have to. She doesn't know what treats are now and she won't ask (yet), so why give them to her? Because YOU had an issue with foods, doesn't mean she will. Don't make your issues hers.

      ReplyDelete
    13. I’m the person who wrote that comment, and I feel a little misunderstood. My point was that I’m not giving my (now) 15-month-old sugar, chocolate, etc because I’ve learned that once he has something “tastier” than the healthy alternative, that’s the food he will want, and I just want to put the not-so-great stuff off until he’s older. He loooooves french toast, so I make it with whole grain bread, and yogurt sweetened with maple syrup on top. He also thinks blueberries are a tasty, fun dessert, and I feel good about that. I’m hardly a stern food dictator who is raising a deprived child, poised to pour Pixy Stix into his mouth at a friend’s house. (Unless he does. Who can know?)
      I can’t speak to the food guilt because I didn’t grow up with that—my rounded corners came later. I just (gently) think that giving processed or sugary options to toddlers is a quick way to get them to love them. And I guess I’m basing that off of how dieting works for me—the first few days (weeks, let’s be honest) of no desserts and no french fries are really hard for me, but after that my taste buds readjust. I thought you had probably considered this, because you do think a lot about food choices. And ta da! You had. Thanks for talking about it.

      ReplyDelete
    14. Hi Anon 3:00,

      I hope it didn't seem like I was demonizing you. I just felt extremely defensive because OF COURSE I had thought about it. And rather than ask, you made statements/assumptions.

      Regardless, it was a useful springboard for this post.

      I get what you mean, and I get what the YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG Anon 2:43 means, too. I just see it slightly differently.

      ReplyDelete
    15. I can't even imagine how hard it is to be a parent without passing some of your "issues" (for lack of a better word) on to your kids.

      All you can do is your best, and you are clearly mindful of how you're raising her. I'm amazed by all the foods she's already tried and liked - I didn't get to most of those until my adulthood!

      ReplyDelete
    16. The upside, and maybe downside, is that the time in her life where you have this amount of control is so narrow. As an adult, I find myself restricting stuff constantly and being so hard on myself about screwing up. I come to your blog and follow you on twitter to remind myself that it's okay to loosin' the f*&k up a little bit. You're funny, attractive, and you are able to enjoy your food. In a way, it helps me to do the same. So if I have a kid and regrettably pass this weird food control on to her (or him), I hope he/she finds a friend like Eve that can tell her it's okay to enjoy it a bit.

      ReplyDelete
    17. Wow, I can so relate to this. I was raised with the idea that food is a comfort and a companion. I was also criticized on a regular basis for being overweight. Is it any wonder I developed bulimia?

      I am VERY much aware of my food issues and have struggled with this as my boys have grown (they are now 5 and 9). I live in Berkeley and there probably isn't any other place in the world that embraces the "food nazi" culture, as I call it. I've worked very hard at taking a calm, mellow, "no big deal" approach to food around my kids. I think if you make a big deal out of not being able to have sweets, or meat, or anything non organic, etc. it will just make the kid want it even more. I don't want my kids to have a complex about food like I did, so I stay low key about it; provide healthy options, don't use food as a reward or a tool for anything, and most importantly model good eating behavior. I never make them clean their platesI'm sure there are lots of Berkeley Food Nazis who would criticize me for that, but so far it seems to be working. My 5 year old will always choose an apple over a piece of candy, if given the choice; I have to consider that at least a partial success.

      Bottom line, you know yourself, you know your kid and anonymous commenters do NOT. You have to do what works for you and your family; that's all that matters. (In my opinion)

      ReplyDelete
    18. Good on you. I think it's wrong to completely deprive yourself of something just because society says it's wrong, and it would break my heart if I ever had to tell a kid she couldn't ever have sugary treats. I personally think that's what's wrong with so many diets these days-they all say you have to completely cut certain foods out of your routine, based on whatever fad is going around. I was visiting friend in Nashville recently and when we went out to eat he was practically drooling over my plate of chicken and biscuits. I eventually had to make him take a few bites because he looked so sad about eating a salad-and he doesn't even need to lose any weight!

      I think it's a lot healthier-physically AND mentally- for kids and adults to indulge at some points. Eve sounds like a kid who already has a great palate and I think you guys are doing great with her that she's already trying and enjoying so many different types of foods. This is one instance when you definitely need to follow your instincts and ignore any well meaning but crazy advice

      ReplyDelete
    19. Man, it's a good thing I don't have kids or I'd probably be doing time for assaulting someone who wanted to give me some unsolicited parenting advice.

      But about the pancakes: people don't get fat from eating pancakes, or any other kind of food. They get fat from eating TOO MUCH. Of anything.

      And now I want chocolate chip pancakes.

      ReplyDelete
    20. I was talking to someone once about my anxieties and fears about pushing irrational fears from my past onto my kids... she looked at me and said, "The fact that you're aware and concerned tells me you'll be just fine. It's the ones that believe they'll never have a problem whatsoever that have me worried." My point: You're an excellent mother who cares about her beautiful daughter. Trust me: she is not going to go into therapy blaming the chocolate chip pancake.

      ReplyDelete
    21. Anon 3:00 (and OP) again.

      Um. Actually, Kristi? I did ask. And it's nice that you were actually more polite to Anon 2:43 in your response(s).

      :(

      ReplyDelete
    22. No, OP/Anon:
      "Are you okay with passing that same sweet tooth along to her?" is only half-question; it's also half-assertion. You are saying I *AM* passing a sweet tooth on, and then you ask how I feel about doing that.

      Semantics? Maybe. But your question, as-is, is loaded and accusatory. So when you go on to explain how you are raising your child, it's in the context of "Are you sure you want to be doing it your way? Because here's my way." Except I hadn't ever talked about my way.

      The Anon 2:43 commenter just comes out and says she totally disagrees with me, and that's after reading my post. Meaning the difference is that you gave me a reason to explain my position, in a productive way. Anon 2:43 just shuts my position down. Seems futile to argue.

      ReplyDelete
    23. Me again. I think you're hearing that. I was trying to be super polite and non-accusatory, and maybe I went so far that it sounded disingenuous. I think of myself as in a similar boat as you--I am slightly overweight, struggle with it, and I'm a parent who makes food choices for my child. I believe that if I introduce less healthy but tastier choices to my son now, he will want those choices in the future. I'm new to the game, but I'm pretty sure that's how it works. #notwearingshoes #drinkingfrommywaterglasseverysingletime #notwearingahat
      #ElmovideosonYouTube
      #adinfinitum

      The truth is, I thought you'd have a better answer because I figured you had really thought about it. But saying that introducing unhealthy food to a child because you prioritize guilt-free eating over good choices isn't very convincing. I asked the question in good faith. You could have just said, "I don't believe I'm passing my non-existent sweet tooth along to her."

      Blah. Whatever. It's hard to convey tone online.

      ReplyDelete
    24. I could have replied that way, but I wanted to write a post. I realized I'd never written about it (and your comment helped me realize that and frame what I've written). The post isn't about being retaliatory towards you. It's simply offering my position on a touchy subject.

      As such, I'm sure that you (and Anon 2:43) are not alone in thinking my current position isn't "convincing." I totally get why anyone would want to keep bad/sugary/unhealthy foods away from kids as long as possible. That totally makes sense.

      I just have a somewhat different approach.

      ReplyDelete
    25. What the anons don't seem to get is that prior to you publishing this post you
      had not spoken (to my recollection) about food and kids. Further you never asked for their advice on the matter and therefore and frankly it is none of their business what you eat or what you feed your family. Period. I don't care if you had a five hundred pound sumo wrestling 8 month old it is not their business. So when they act like it is their business then I get to think less kindly of them. Bah to all that noise. Indeed I would suggest that they check out the incomperable Lesley Kinzel at blog.twowholecakes.com especially the most recent post. Ahem.sorry K for being snippy but the anon posts really struck a chord today

      ReplyDelete
    26. Gah typos. Thank you iPhone as always

      ReplyDelete
    27. Christine -
      Listen (anon 3:00 here) - K posted about this and I reponded. If you have a blog and post something - then you get comments on it and they might not always agree with you. Get it?

      Kristy- As you have already discovered, the way you raise your kid(s) is your way. There will always be dissent and disapproval.

      ReplyDelete
    28. Anon 3:00, your response to a picture of a child eating a pancke is a little odd. I am not sure why you would accuse Kristi of feeding her child a poor diet based on one photo of her consuming a treat.

      Responses such as yours are classic examples of "mommy wars" and make many of us chose to not enter into discussions of how we make our parenting decisions. I don't believe you were aware of the condescending tone of your post but it was there and you would do well to understand the words you are putting into the internets.

      ReplyDelete
    29. No - I was not responding to a cute photo. I was responding to what K wrote. I stand by what I said. I was offering my opinion that there is no reason to give a child that young sugar.
      Hardly inflammatory mommywars bs.

      ReplyDelete
    30. Then I am confused, how did this get started? Did you or did you not by way of an email imply that feeding a child a pancake with chocolate in it was "passing along" a sweet tooth? Did you mention that you saw a photo of this and it prompted your email? How did you expect this to be taken?

      As I said, regardless of intent, making other parents feel bad about the decisions they make feeds into this whole anxiety ball that has gone global in the form of mommy warring. I did not take from the OC that prompted K's post that you wanted to have a constructive discussion - it was more of a "YOUR DOIN IT WRONG"

      ReplyDelete
    31. "I didn't order the pancakes because I want to pass on my eating habits to my daughter. I ordered them because I don't."

      That is such a great attitude!

      ReplyDelete
    32. diaperbagdad: Thanks for chiming in, here.

      The original commenter/poster didn't email me, she left a comment on my post about my gestational diabetes diagnosis. Completely separately, I posted a picture of Eve with the pancake, weeks before. So I do get why/how someone would put those two things together and wonder about my approach to feeding my kid. Totally fair point, totally fair question.

      HOWEVER.

      Asking something like, "Given your history with weight issues, how do you approach feeding your kid?" would have been a much more neutral question. (Whereas telling me I'm passing on my sweet tooth is not neutral.)

      O/P: I think the point is that you didn't have to chime in at all, let alone just to post a contrary opinion on a subject that wasn't even up for discussion (meaning your comment about Eve was on a post about my eating habits, not hers).

      The context of your comments have been that your approach is more appropriate than mine. You have even explicitly stated that my approach has no merit.

      I believe the "mommy war" type behavior that diaperbagdad is referring to is the same dissent/disapproval you mention. And you are, actually, engaging in it.

      ReplyDelete
    33. Oh, and also? I know darn well that ANYTHING I make public (blog, twitter, facebook, etc.) is up for public scrutiny. I might not like it, but I won't let dissent and disapproval stop me from posting about stuff.

      ReplyDelete
    34. I don't know how our kids grew up with a healthy body and sane minds and they just ate what they were given at mealtimes. We ate meals together back than...and I know that is pretty weird these days. The two girls are older than any of you, probably, and they are sort of overly concerned with their body image, but they are healthy and happy, I'm pretty sure. Our son is heftier but is healthy. I worry about him because he is sort of Atkins addicted.

      I think the picture of Eve holding the pancake to her ear, even though I can't really see it, is adorable. I haven't tried listening to my food. Maybe it has tons of great info or contains the secrets of the universe.

      I'm amazed how much she has grown from when she was a little thing and you were stressing about baby fat. Hmmm...things have gone 180 degrees.

      Happy Mommying :) No stress and be kind to each other.

      ReplyDelete
    35. thanks! and I totally realized it was a comment not email after I posted... DOH!

      You totally rock.

      ReplyDelete
    36. You know what's really funny about this? That there are actually TWO people (who don't know each other) posing as Anon 3:00. It started off as one person, but at some point someone else jumped in and said they were Anon 3:00. Ha ha.
      I'd love to know WHY the person did that, though. Why not just jump in as yourself?

      ReplyDelete
    37. I'm jumoing in as myself and agree with Anons 2:43 and 3:00. Sugar shouldn't be a taboo, but there's enough time to deal with it once kids realize that sweets and chocolate chip pancakes exist. When they do, you can teach them a healthy attitude about it and allow everything in moderation. But as long as they don't know that there is such a thing as a chocolate chip pancake you don't need to order it for them.

      Should this be applicable to tomatoes, apples and carrots as well? No, because if you don't introduce your kids to them, they might never get to know them. But no matter what you do, they will know about sweets sooner or later. And that's soon enough imo.

      ReplyDelete
    38. I guess I do no trust myself enough to know how to gradually introduce sweets if not done from the start. I don't like the idea of witholding something because it could present a larger issue down the road. I often find myself trying do describe a lot of meals as a balance of how they make you feel. ie if you eat a lot of "junk" or lower nutritional value foods you don;t feel so great so eat "better" higher nutritional food to balance it out.

      I view parenting from a perspective of not creating barriers but understanding and choice. there are some areas where there is actual harm that can happen immediately, I am less lassiez-faire in those scenarios but food, for an active kid who through the course of the day gets their veggies and proteins and appropriate portions a few chocolate chips are not going to hurt them and they need to learn that now and have the example of what I feed them to learn from.

      I wasn't allowed pop as a kid. I have a case a week habit in my 30s. Thank god I am an amature athlete in relatively good shape...

      ReplyDelete
    39. Christ, I am sorry for that first sentance in the second paragraph... Spent too much time in the self help secion of the borders closing blowout sale...

      ReplyDelete
    40. Sick of this topic, let's dicsuss something non-controversial, like kids and TV ;)

      ReplyDelete
    41. Can I make a request that the Anons start at least labeling themselves as Anon 3:00 and Anon 2:43 or Anon Blueeyes and Anon Bigfeet or something? Cause i am getting all aconfused.

      ReplyDelete
    42. I know I'm jumping in very late, so I'm just going to start from scratch and talk about the original post ;-) I totally get where you are coming from in a lot of ways - the weight problem, the history of processed food, etc.

      I think my approach has been similar to yours. I try to make sweets an occasional thing, part of the overall picture of fresh, good food, but it has become harder as they (especially one of them) have become more interested in candy, ice cream, etc. Now, there have to be rules about it, because they will wake up asking for ice cream, and, if they've had ice cream at any point, they'll ask for more, and more, and more. Same with candy. There's gotta be some balance between demonizing these things and allowing them free access, but it's tough to know what kind of approach will leave them least scarred.

      ReplyDelete
    43. Kristy, I love your posts and your sense of humor and I think we are very similar in a lot of ways. *End of ass kissing*

      I love your approach to not making sweets or what people consider "bad" foods taboo for Eve. There is no way you can shield your kid from sweets and junk food - unless you home school and never let them go anywhere ever. Plus, (and I think this is important) even Cookie Monster knows that cookies are a "sometimes" food. Instead of freaking out and forbidding all fun or delicious food always, maybe the sugar-hating crazies can teach moderation and let their little people know that chocolate chip anything is a sometimes food. Now THAT would be some parenting :)

      ReplyDelete
    44. Ugh -
      Amber is typical of adults who do not get that they are the adult and when your child is young - young like under 3, like Eve - YOU are in charge. Yes, of course I get that treats are a sometimes thing. But the point that some of us are making is that toddlers do not need to be introduced to sugar at all yet. Once kids are a bit older and can understand, then you can teach them about "sometimes " food.

      Calling us "sugar-hating crazies" just shows how immature and limited your thinking is Amber. Good luck with the child raising.....

      ReplyDelete
    45. Anyone who puts limits on perfectly safe stuff in the absence of moderation shouldn't be hating on what you perceive as someone else's limitated thinking.

      ReplyDelete
    46. (rather extreme limits to the point of exclusion) It's not that we're feeding our kids Naplam here people.

      ReplyDelete
    47. Ugh -
      Kirin is typical of adults who think that from one comment on a blog that they know how I raise my children. Also my level of maturity and limits to my thinking. Perhaps next you can guess my age and weight?

      Yes, I am in charge and like Kristy, I choose to feed my children a variety of food. My almost one year old loves quinoa, peas, broccoli and salmon, just to name a few. I cook a variety of vegetables for her, give her a different fruit with every meal, and introduce her to various forms of protein. Probably 90% of what I feed her is organic and homemade. But *gasp* she's also had graham crackers, baby cookies and even one time, homemade cake. I MIGHT even feed her cake on her first birthday, if I'm feeling crazy. Do I give her cookies every day? No. I give them to her in MODERATION. So yes, I'm in charge, and I pick when I give her what I give her.

      Here's what I find amusing. Everyone on here who jumped all over feeding a child a pancake with chocolate in it has been rabid/self righteous/sarcastic/judgmental/etc. No one is going to raise a child the same, and yet you just can't help but pound your point home because BY GOLLY YOU ARE RIGHT and that is THE ONLY POSSIBLE WAY. Good luck raising YOUR child to be open minded and to look at issues from more than one point of view. I couldn't care less if you don't feed your kid any sugar at all - your choice, whatever. But I stand by my "sugar-hating crazies" remark, because the haters have yet to make a point without sounding like they are the be all and end all authority on child rearing. Get over yourselves.

      ReplyDelete
    48. Wow 90% organic! Peas and salmon! You are amazing!
      Seriously, why so defensive - listing all your super foods for your child? How come when I post MY opinion, you label it 'rabid/self righteous/sarcastic/judgmental/etc'. - but YOU are right? Get over your organic self and get a sense of humor.

      And DiaperDbag - get some sleep or something. Your syntax makes no sense.

      ReplyDelete
    49. That is a very mature and informed response.

      ReplyDelete
    50. This is not about sugar. It's about making informed decisions. GOOD FOR KRISTY for being able to process her own feelings about food so smartly and for being so thoughtful about how food and especially treats are offered to Eve.

      This is my favorite part of the whole post: "I consider it a total win if she gets that the fried foods exist and are tasty, but they're really just a component of a meal that has many other delicious (and healthy) things to offer." So smart! I wish I would've thought of that when my son was younger. He was a total no sugar, organic baby until2 1/2 until THE DREADFUL DAY when SOME EVIL MOM brought cupcakes--REAL CUPCAKES--to daycare for a birthday celebration. I was so mad! I was half mad the daycare ladies knew he wasn't "allowed" and gave it to him anyway, and half mad because I wasn't there to witness his first sugar bomb.

      I leave you with my favorite story from my very vegetarian cousin. She has raised three boys. The middle son has enjoyed food since birth more than the other two (as I learned about my son, which is not always the case!). When he was about 9, he went to a friends house for dinner, and came home telling his mother he'd eaten pepperoni pizza. "OH NO!" his mom said. When he asked what was wrong, she told him it was meat, and he felt bad. "Well, what's it made out of?" he asked. "Chemicals, disgusting animal parts, and spices," she said. He paused, then said with gusto, "Mom, those were some GOOD spices." Needless to say she is the smartest and best mom I've ever met in every imaginable way - a very balanced vegetarian I might add, always telling her kids they didn't have to be. From that day forward he never went back!

      As parents we raise kids with conviction, steering them in what we hope is one of the many right ways. Then, they turn 2 or 3 and you really see their personality. Are they totally into food, are they not? You have to get to know your child then adjust based on their individuality. The most important things parents can are to be informed, be reflective and flexible, and oh, let's not forget... compassionate and respectful of other parents. No one on this site is feeding their kids Cheetos and Oreos every day for dinner (far from it). So I'm inclined to say it's all good here... move along...

      ReplyDelete
    51. I just decided to follow your blog and this is the first entry I've read thoroughly and I must say I'm intrigued. As a new mom changing my lifestyle in regards to food and fitness, I can totally relate to your concerns and upbringing! I can't wait to read more and maybe you'll come across my blog one day as well :) BTW: you have an absolutely adorable daughter!

      ReplyDelete
    52. So good topic really i like any post talking about Ancient Egyptian Gods but i want to say thing to u Ancient Egypt not that only ... you can see in Ancient Egypt Ancient Egypt Map and more , you shall search in Google and Wikipedia about that .... thanks a gain ,,,

      ReplyDelete