Wednesday, January 21, 2009

1-20-09

Oh sure, yesterday was all historic with its ushering in of a new era in American history and politics, an era of hope and change beginning with the swearing in of the first African American President of the United States.

But it's also the day Ish and I got married.

I know, I know. Way to make it all about us.

Actually, we thought that since there'd be plenty of t-shirts and mugs with the date already printed on them, we'd just use it. Yay for 1-20-09 bumper stickers!

Seriously, though, here's what happened:

Sometime around Thanksgiving, my head exploded.

Planning events has been a part of my job for, hell, over a decade now. It has been my full-time job for the last two years. My point is that I know what I'm doing wedding-planning-wise. I know what goes into it. I know what to be concerned about and what NOT to be concerned about. I know how to negotiate with venues and vendors, and I know what a good price is for a dinner or hors d'oeuvres or signature cocktails or specially imprinted napkins or yes, even ice sculptures, the kinds that light up and have a vodka luge. (I know! Vodka luge!)

I also know how I prefer to plan events. The first step is to start with a vision. I know that sounds obnoxious, but I'm not kidding. I need to figure out how I want the event to feel. It doesn't have to be themed ("wedding" is a pretty good theme as it is, you know?), but I have to be able to describe it, how I want the guests to experience the event.

And I couldn't get my arms around this one. Too many conflicting ideas! I take my relationship with Ish very seriously, and I would love to express my vows aloud to him in front of the people who mean the most to me. I also love to have parties. But! I am SO OVER about 90% of Official Wedding reception stuff (because I have already done it, because that's not what matters to me anymore, not because I think it's stupid). I just don't care. And also we're funny and silly and love San Francisco and would love to just serve In-and-Out Burger. EXCEPT we're ALSO fancypants sometimes. SOMETIMES we do like to incorporate more sophisticated elements into our lives. And in the end trying to describe or even figure out what I/we wanted was impossible. An orchestra! An 80s band! Vodka luge! Hot dogs! No, no, sophisticated hot dogs!

And right about the time Ish and I launched into the FOURTH heated (albeit honest to goodness) conversation about the various merits of sophisticated hot dogs, my head just shot across the room. It was too ridiculous.

It basically boiled down to the fact that we DO want to have a wedding party with vodka and hot dogs, but we DON'T want it to rule our lives, to stress us out, to take on greater importance than it should. There are bigger things to worry about right now.

We just want to be married.

We just want to have the kid.

AND we just want to have a bigass party...to celebrate it all, without the pressure of w-e-d-d-i-n-g.

We went online and made a reservation to get married on Inauguration Day, because it seemed like a damn good day to do it.

And then we debated for two more months about whether we would actually go through with it. We debated telling a few people, and inviting them to City Hall. We debated inviting just our families. We discussed telling everyone, and asking anyone who wanted to to come along. We mostly discussed not going, and doing the formal wedding thing for real.

But then a week ago, just in case, we got our rings.

And two days ago, we decided yes. Let's just do it.

We didn't tell anyone except for our two very quiet witnesses. Not anyone.

We met at City Hall right after Obama was sworn in. We filed paperwork. We met with our officiant. She asked if we had rings to exchange and we said we did. She asked if we'd like to have the ceremony in the Rotunda. We said we did.

And 30 minutes later, we were married.

* * * * * * *

We stood at the top of the Rotunda, where that person (unknown) is pictured.


Our officiant was all smiles, and had a wonderful positive energy about her. I will try and get a copy of what she said, because it was perfect.

She did speak with a heavy accent, though, so when she said something like,

...rejoice in each other's graces

it sounded to me (project much?) like she said:

...rejoice in each other's crazies.

And I thought to myself, "DONE AND DONE." And then I almost burst out laughing.

When it was over, the four of us walked down the street to Citizen Cake. It's not usually open so early (it was only about 10:30 a.m.), but there were inaugural revelers inside drinking champagne, so they let us in as well. Which meant that totally unplanned, immediately following our ceremony we got to have champagne and cake. Hurrah!

Then our witnesses left and Ish and I walked down the street and had lunch at Absinthe (and we got to see and meet Jamie, who is currently competing on Top Chef). And then we went home, and did a little work, and sat and grinned like very happy idiots.

Later that evening, we went with Ben and Emily to see their new apartment and to have more champagne, toasting to so many new beginnings.

And then Ish took me to Masa's for dinner. Which was almost as grand as a honeymoon.

All in all, I'd have to say that 1-20-09 was totally bumper-sticker worthy.




p.s. We took almost no photos, because that wasn't the point. But when we DO have that "big ass party," there will be many. I promise.

80 comments:

  1. That sounds like an absolutely perfect wedding day. Congrats, and good on you for knowing what's important.

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  2. That sounds lovely. Congratulations to you both.

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  3. Sounds like an awesome, amazing, beautiful, intimate, meaningful wedding! :) Congratulations!!!

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  4. Congrats. What you guys did is my idea of the perfect wedding.

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  5. So so happy for you guys! Congratulations.

    And really, I'm almost as excited about Masa's. I love that place.

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  6. Congrats! I think the ceremony should be reserved and private with as few people as possible. The party is for everyone. It's something you'll remember just as fondly as an extravagant, expensive affair. And.. you could always have the party after the baby comes and can get twice as many presents (and actually drink).

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  7. I wish I had had the courage to do what you did. I did the party to make everyone else happy and hated the whole thing. Good for you and congratulations. 01-20-09 was really, really great day for all of us!

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  8. Congrats! Thats really all there is to say.

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  9. That sounds absolutely wonderful. Congratulations.

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  10. I know this is random, but my uncle is the head manager at Absinthe. It totally threw me off when you wrote that you went there, I love it. Also I am completely rooting for Jamie, not just because she rocks but because she works at my uncle's restaurant.

    Congrats!

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  11. Congratulations! I saw your Twitter update and was hoping you'd post more details here. What a fantastic day!

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  12. Fantastic! Congratulations to you both!

    So many brides are all about the wedding and not so much about the marriage. It's good to put your energy into what's important!!

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  13. Now, see, THIS is perfect. You followed your heart or your gut or your inner voice or whatever you want to call it. You did what was totally, completely and absolutely right for both of YOU. No matter that it was not what OTHER people might want, or tradition dictates, or whatever blah blah blah.
    I submit that you need to do exactly the same thing with your relocation decision. Be careful not to be sucked into the "We need to buy a house because that's what married grown ups are supposed to do" or "We can afford a house and the market is good" or any of a zillion perfectly rational (or maybe not so rational) reasons for buying a house. Check your collective gut(s) and see what FEELS right, just for YOUR family. And go with it.
    And know that, one year or five years from now, that may NOT be right for you anymore. But all you can do is follow that inner voice and be in the now. That's the best any of us can do.
    Congratulations and good luck, with the whole crazy thing! :)

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  14. Congratulations! I got married 10/18/08 (which happens to be the Obama's wedding anniversary - we didn't know this until my mother-in law pointed it out). Our wedding was small, intimate and every thing we hoped. No one can tell you what the perfect day will be like only you know that, and it sounds like what you decided to do was perfect for you both. I know this sounds cliche or corny - but the next morning after our wedding I felt a sense of inner peace, & I loved my husband even more than I did on our wedding day. That's what it's about isn't it?? :) Congratulations to you & Ish!
    JL

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  15. Good for you! I wish I had done the same thing! :D Congrats to you and Ish!! *hugs*

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  16. CONGRATULATIONS!

    So many people let the wedding event swallow them and they forget that it's the marriage that is worth the hassle and the fuss and the fight and the CELEBRATION.

    Now the real party can begin.

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  17. That sounds like a wonderfully low-key way to get married. Congratulations!

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  18. That is prety much how we felt about it and pretty much what we did...although dinner was at Farallon. Everytime we go by city hall we say "look there's our wedding chapel"

    in fact I met you on line for the bathroom in some bar in Northbeach the very day after.

    Congrats! What a good day for it!

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  19. Best.Wedding.Story.Ever.

    Congrats!!!

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  20. It sounds like perfection and happiness and joy all rolled up into a delicious cheesecake xanga kind of day :)
    I'm happy for you both!

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  21. Congratulations to both of you.

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  22. Congrats, congrats, congrats!

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  23. You know, I don't remember most of my wedding day because it was a riot of People! Buffet! Reception Line! etc....

    I'm betting you're going to remember every detail of your day, which makes it even more meaningful.

    Congratulations! (again. Caught it on Twitter too. :)

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  24. This was so sweet it made my nose prickle!

    Beautiful story. Beautiful wedding. Here's hoping it's the wonderful preamble to a beautiful life filled with love and laughter.

    Congratulations!

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  25. Congrats! We too got married by a JP with just a few ppl around..Then had a "wedding" in Mexico and one big @$$ party when we got back..that's the way to do it!

    Congrats again! Awesome.

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  26. Though hot dogs and a vodka luge are totally up my alley so are spontaneity and pure love so I'd say you made a great choice for all the right reasons!

    Happy 1-20-09

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  27. Yay! Congratulations to you and your growing family!

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  28. So happy for you - congratulations, Kristy! What a wonderful, memorable day!

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  29. That is so wonderful, Kristy, congratulations!

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  30. Congratulations Kristy and Ish! So happy for you both!

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  31. Excellent! Congrats!
    My hubby and I got married at city hall and we'll be celebrating 30 years in July. It has nothing to do with the ceremony but everything to do with the people involved. Good Luck and Goddess Bless!

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  32. Wow! What super news! And you know, somehow it just fits my image of the two of you. Doesn't surprise or shock me either (then again, I'm not a relative who thought they would be standing up or something.) Heartiest congrats. Can't wait to read more about your continuing lives together and the one developing in Kristi's nethers. Raising a glass of bubbly to you both tonight! Kind regards from a devoted reader; Barb p.s. - It totall fits that your word verification would be, "grains!"

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  33. Congratulations!! Sounds like an amazing day!

    ps. I regularly read your blog, but I'm not sure if I commented before...so...hi!

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  34. Effing awesome! A million congrats to you and Ish.

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  35. Many congrats! What a wonderful way to tie the knot. Good for you for going with a wedding that best suits you and Ish. I always thought SF City Hall was beautiful. And what a magical date to celebrate.

    So happy for you two (or soon-to-be-three).

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  36. Hooray! Sounds like the perfect day.

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  37. Congratulations! I think the location was beautiful!

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  38. CONGRATULATIONS!
    ... what exactly are the things you dont need to worry about when planning a wedding? (if you care to help a girl maintain her sanity)

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  39. My friend got married in San Francisco City Hall as well... for many of the same reasons you were married there. She also had a huge party later with all the friends, but a lot less of the stress. I think it sounds perfect.

    Congratulations!

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  40. You guys are so cute. :) Congratulations!

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  41. May good fortune and happiness be yours always.

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  42. Congratulations Kristy! Sounds wonderful :)

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  43. Congratulations!!!

    On a vaguely related note, you should check out Rhymes with Orange (http://www.rhymeswithorange.com/)for 1/7/09 - her to do list features "get married". I think you checked that one off the list.

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  44. I didn't think the day could get better... and then it did!

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  45. awww, thanks for providing details beyond twitter and facebook! this made me smile.

    i've always thought if i ever got married again, i'd do it at city hall. we're so lucky it's so spectacular, y'know?

    congrats to you both.

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  46. Congratulations!!! I wish the best for both of you.

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  47. How wonderful!!!!

    If I could get an invite to that vodka and hot dog shindig, that would be pretty sweet...

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  48. I don't think you could have planned a more perfect day ! So happy for you.

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  49. Congratulations! May every day be happier than the one before it!

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  50. Congratulations!!!! Man I love the way you and Ish do things. :) (Mr. Sassymonkey says congrats too.)

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  51. Congratulations!!!!
    (Wow, so much happening, so quickly!) It sounds like a truly lovely day!

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  52. Congratulations and I hope your life with Ish will be even more wonderful than it is now. That is how my husband and I got married...well, not in California and it has been 44 years now. We had to regroup once and married again in a few months.

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  53. Congratulations on the wedding! It sounds like a great day!

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  54. Congratulations!!

    (My Aunt & Uncle were married in Europe so they had a big state-side party when they returned....catered by In-N-Out!)

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  55. That sounds wonderful. Congratulations.

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  56. ACK!
    Congratulations!
    I couldn't be more thrilled.
    What a wonderful day.
    xoxo
    steph

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  57. Congrats......May your life be full of happiness and crazies~

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  58. I said it on Facebook but I'll say it again - congratulations! I like your wedding style (says she who was engaged for 3 days before getting married in the back yard).

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  59. Awesome and Congratulations!

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  60. I'm a longtime IIF and I have to admit that when you first announced your engagement and pregnancy I had been single for 3.5 years and it was, like, "I read her blog because she made it seem okay to be single in your late 20's/early 0's! Now what do I do?" But now I'm in an amazing relationship with a former friend and it's like, "They eloped? So they could get on with preparing for a new baby and possibly buying their first home together? How fucking romantic!"

    So, for all the bitter singles and giddy coupled people (and vice versa), congratulations on your new marriage, whether or not the wedding is yet to come!

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  61. congratulations on your marriage!! i eloped two months ago and love talking to other brides who did the same thing. i don't have any regrets. i think the way we did it made it more special because it was just about me and him. we would've had to worry about so many other people if we had the traditional wedding. i've "promised" my mom i'll do the big party thing later, to make her less upset, but i'm hoping she'll just let it go...

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  62. congratulations! and nice choice of absinthe! my uncle is the manager there... and i can't wait to go when i visit in april!!

    (speaking of my upcoming vacation - think you have time to write a post of hot spots and fun things happening the first weekend in april??)

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  63. Congrats! That sounds like the right way to do it. Plus you can't go wrong with Absinthe or Masa's, and BOTH on the same day?? Awesome!

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  64. Congratulations to you, Kristy and Ish! I've been following you both - independently, or so I thought - on Twitter since I started tweeting a few weeks ago...and now I find out you're a couple! Sounds like a perfect wedding day! My husband and I kept our wedding small, too (although at 30 people, a little bit larger than yours)and we have always been very happy that we did.

    Wishing you and Ish lots of love and laughter together!

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  65. You've got your priorities right! Congrats.
    I love that you got cake and champagne afterward, though I can't believe you actually worked! (Or was that code for something?)
    Jamie's my favorite on the show, btw.

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  66. Congratulations! My husband and I got married ten years ago by a justice of the peace in a carpet store and I have never, ever regretted it. The important thing is you got married. And? You will remember the day as a stress free, beautiful day in your lives. many happy returns!

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  67. sounds like a special and super wedding day for you two. congratulations!

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  68. Is that a church? Well its really awesome and I like it so much.

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