You Don't Have To Read If You Don't Wanna

This flood of blog posts is the result of a lot of things. Mostly, it amounts to the fact that there is no longer dissonance between my personal life and the rest of my life, so I'm just oozing with all these thoughts and ideas that have been banging around in my head for two months (and in some cases, longer). I hope to keep it up.

And assuming I DO keep it up, I don't have any idea what all I'll be posting about, other than "my life." Which is what I have always posted about. Given the current set of circumstances, that will inevitably mean writing about being pregnant. That will also eventually (and Fates-willing) mean posting about the child I have. It will not mean changing the tenor of this blog. I will always curse and drink and totally over-share.

My point is, if pregnancy and child-related posts bore the shit out of you, then I guess that's my loss.

Right now, I am dealing with the fascinating issue of -- wait. Let me interrupt myself to paint you a real-time picture:

Right now, I am actually dealing with the fact that I just got back from lunch and am wearing some of it. I had to go to two different local establishments, because after I purchased lunch at the first place, I decided the smell of the food made me nauseous. So I went to a second place. I got back to my desk and opened my sparkling water and it exploded all over me and my desk. Then I dribbled salsa down my shirt. This following a bizarre incident with the microwave this morning where my coffee also exploded and I went to clean the microwave and then the door got hinged to my bra and I almost took off with the microwave dangling from my boobs. In the office. Usually I work from home on Mondays and now you know why.

But as I was saying.

Right now, I am dealing with the fascinating issue of gaining weight as a pregnant lady who is overweight to begin with. Regardless how you feel about Dooce (love her, hate her, don't know her), I think it's awesome that she's posting pictures of her growing "bump."

I will not be doing the same.

Between my first and latest doctor's appointments, I have lost about five pounds. However, none of my old pants fit me anymore and the weight I do have is all moving around and confusing me. Yes, confusing. Between eating more, eating mostly better, being very bloaty and gaseous (sorry, but true), and my uterus rapidly ballooning, I don't know what the hell my body is doing. I am losing weight and expanding, and, well, YOU try and figure that out. (I don't mean mathematically, I mean instinctively.) Last night I showed Ish my new "bump" and he was very sweet but also delicate in pointing out that the "bump" doesn't start out by forming there (just under the boobs), it forms lower, like around there (pointing to around my belly button). Meaning my bump was either gas from all the gourmet, low-sugar, non-caffeinated, non-artificial sweetenered sodas I've been drinking, or perhaps the result of 42 too many sugar cookies. Either way, not a baby bump.

Damn it.

But on the other hand, I look at it this way. Eventually my tummy will be protruding madly. And while many skinny pregnant women tend to freak out about that kind of weight gain ("I look so fat!"), I will be thrilled. Because I will have a huge tummy and it will NOT be from being fat, it will be from being pregnant. I actually think this will be a freeing feeling. I have never, ever wanted to show off my stomach -- even when I've been far thinner than I am now -- and yet now, when it's going to be fuller than ever, I can't imagine not wanting to show it off.

This new discovery almost makes up for the sudden lack of soft cheeses from my diet. Almost.