Friday, December 12, 2008

Pregnancy Blogging - Like Regular Blogging, But With Less Bourbon

Gosh, I have so much to tell you.

For one thing, thank you for all the well wishes. I kind of expected a lot of random advice and questions, so I'm kind of surprised -- and deeply amused-- that after "congrats" the most commonly expressed sentiment from you commenters was concerning the pee stick.

The truth of the matter is, I discovered I was knocked up on October 20. Five days after we got engaged. I'm due the end of June, and right at about 12 weeks already!

Meaning that --

-- well, actually, meaning a lot of things.

Perhaps most importantly, the stick in the photo is very clean and also almost two months old. But thank you for your concern.

I also have a lot to say about what these last 8 weeks have been like. Terrifying, weird, exciting, good, frustrating, and a little barfy. Not that I've actually thrown up at all, I just feel like I'm going to a lot and then I don't, and instead realize I'm kind of drooly.

Hmm. Did you know that you salivate an extra amount when you're pregnant? Yeah, well, neither did I. You know why we didn't know this? Because no one talks about grown-ups who drool. Oh, sure, people talk about pregnant women glowing, and pregnant women throwing up, but holy hell! There are a LOT of physical symptoms of being pregnant that are lodged between "glow" and "hurl" that's all NEWS TO ME. Like drool. And heartburn. And having a sense of smell like a bloodhound. (I swear, if pressed? I could tell you that there's a little mold on that bagel. In the freezer. Next door.)

But what I really wanted to tell you is the answer to the question that has come up a lot in real life: Did you plan this?

Answer: No. Well, yes. No. Sort of. A little. But mostly no.

For those of you following along, this is old news, but my situation is this: there is a genetic disorder that runs in my family. My sisters and I have discovered that we are carriers. This doesn't have to mean much, because carriers have few if any physical symptoms. However, there are two big concerns --
1) We can have kids who have the full disorder. This happened to my sister, Healy, and her son, Charlie.
2) We have a slightly increased risk of going through early menopause -- early as in, before the age of 40. It would make conceiving naturally impossible. Following the birth of Charlie, this also happened to my sister, Healy.

So then. Late this last spring, my cycle got really funky and uncooperative. And when you take my family risk into account, this is scary stuff. An infertility specialist told me a lot of things that amounted to nothing good. It was very possible that I had missed my window of opportunity, and I felt heartbroken.

For two+ years, I'd known that this was a possibility, I just hoped it wouldn't be the case. When I started having "issues," Ish and I discussed -- along with our future in general -- adoption.

This fall, the doctor said he wanted me to take a test. It was the Clomid Challenge Test, where they give you Clomid (a very common hormone used to spark ovulation) for a few days, and they take your blood before and after. If the results weren't so good, the doctor said, he would reommend moving directly to IVF.

SO.

Ish and I had every reason to believe we were looking at a very uphill battle on the road to conception, if it happened at all. And knowing it could take months and years of trying, we were like, "What the hell?" So before we were engaged, before we were even 100% ready to try and get pregnant, together, as a couple, we just said, "What the hell."

My Clomid Challenge Test came back looking okay. We breathed a huge sigh of relief. Hope was not entirely lost.

I went to my doctor for a follow-up appointment, where we discussed next steps. On my way out, I picked up a pregnancy test, because even though I was sure I was not pregnant, I was a couple days late.

I got home, peed on a stick, started fixing myself lunch and checking work email. When I grabbed the stick to throw it out, I was rather confused by that vertical line indicating a plus. Huh?

But...we...couldn't...first time?...not possible...NOT POSSIBLE...

And then I ran to Google because I convinced myself that there was no way it was positive. SURELY a FAINT line means nothing? It has to be a dark line? Right?

Not right, no. (As my friend later said to me: My "faint line" is eating crackers right now.)

I was, am pregnant.

And you can bet that, trying or not trying, it was a huuuuuuuuge surprise to us all.

21 comments:

  1. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (worst comment ever, but it totally describes my emotions right now)

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  2. Love the line "my faint line is eating crackers right now"! Awesome.

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  3. Hmm - how to say this w/o seeming mean-spirited? Here goes - why did you want to compress these huge events in such a small time frame -decide to get married, get married, have a baby?

    Perhaps you are just not expressing here, but "what the hell" does not seem the best way to start something.

    And, yes I am going anon on this, as I except a backlash.

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  4. I remember how sad you sounded when you blogged about how you might have missed your window. So surprise or not (as if that's any of our business) I am thrilled for you. I wish I actually knew you guys so I could gush and give hugs in person, but you'll just have to accept virtual ones as I don't have stalker tendencies!

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  5. Congratulations! However it came about, here it is :)

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  6. I forgot about the salivating thing until you mentioned it! I kept going, "Why is there so much saliva in my mouth at any given time?" That was my hint that I was pregnant. No vomiting, no peeing too much, just a lot of spit.

    Congratulations! the only 2 blogs I read are pregnant. (You and dooce.)

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  7. Yeah. "My 'faint line' is eating crackers right now" is my official favorite quote ever.

    My second "faint line" happened while I was taking birth control. You want to see freaked out? You have NO idea.

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  8. Well, of COURSE you salivate more when you are pregnant! You're salivating for TWO now!

    Congrats, you are going to love being a mom.

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  9. Congrats!

    And I'll give you the best advice I got when I was pregnant with my now almost 28 year old daughter, sleep now because you'll never sleep again!

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  10. Wow! I took a few months off from reading your blogs - nothing personal but my google reader thing kinda crashed on me, long story... Anyways, last post I read was before the engagement... So, boy am I shocked?! You're engaged and pregnant - CONGRATS!! That's just awesome!

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  11. As someone who has herself struggled with infertility for several years now, I just want to say how happy I am for you, and that this unplanned suprise came in such a peaceful, gentle, way. Really. Huge fatty congrats on your faint line !

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  12. WOOHOOOOOO! Because selfishly, I can't wait until you in particular blog about being a mom. It's gonna ROCK.

    And, you know, congratulations and all that.

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  13. I'm a big ball of tears right now, because hot damn, woman, are you going to be a fantastic drooler. I mean mom. :)

    All my love and congrats to you and Ish.

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  14. Wow! Congrats to both of you, that kid's going to grow up with some cool parents.

    I also know of a great baby products company to hook you up with ;)

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  15. I am SO happy for you! Youhad me all choked up with the posts about Healy and Charlie and missing your opportunity and... This is exactly what I would have hoped for you! Cheers!

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  16. If you want to know all the stuff no one tells you about being pregnant, check out Jenny McCarthy's book, Belly Laughs. (http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=Jenny+mccarthy+books&oe=UTF-8&cid=10677484897326203224#ps-sellers) She is not only grotesquely honest, but hilarious to boot!
    Congrats!

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  17. Congratulations! If you are interested in getting a pregnancy tweet of the day, follow me at twitter.com/marchofdimes

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  18. Between Fall 1998 and Summer 1999, three doctors told me that I would have extreme difficulty getting pregnant without extraordinary measures.

    We were okay with that, but I was still taking birth control for my awful periods and acne.

    Spring 2000 we went on a trip for our first anniversary. The results of our activities during that trip is almost 8 and is at school right now.

    Never trust doctors.

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  19. I've been reading your blog for a while now. I found it while I was searching for bad divorce stories. Congratulations and good luck with your pregnancy.

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