It's Not A Big Deal, But Also I Could Totally Die

I know I sound totally ridiculous, but let me tell you something first.

No, actually. Let me tell you TWO things first.

Thing One: If I actually have serious issues with something, it's a lot harder for me to blog about it. Haven't seen much about my weight lately, huh? My parents? Ish? Right. Chock full of juicy details and yet it's all stifled. I'm working on it. La la la, woo this wine sure is tasty!

Thing Two: My deep-seated anxieties are growing out of control. I am becoming the worst kind of hypochondriac, just like my mom and sisters. The kind that I know is so totally crazy, and yet there I am, taking myself to the emergency room, convinced I'm having a heart attack despite that my heart rate is normal, my breathing is fine, nothing is painful, except for that little bit of acid reflux. Sigh.

(See how it's all handy that you have "Thing One" up there? So you know that you haven't heard about any of this because it's a bit challenging?)

I bring this up because tomorrow I am having my left wisdom teeth extracted. The bottom one is slightly impacted, and that means that they are doing the full surgery thing and putting me "under."

So on the one hand I am all like, "This is the minorest of surgeries in the whole world, I have nothing to worry about. The time they took out my right wisdom teeth I met an internet date for lunch IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING. Sure, this is more invasive, but barely."

On the other hand I'm kind of TERRIFIED. I have never been "under" before in my life, and so what if I have some bizarre reaction to it? Like dying. Or ending up paralyzed. Or like, blind.

Because that can happen, right? You go in for a tooth extraction and end up blind? Yeah? That does happen?

This can't be normal.


  1. I had all four of my wisdom teeth, two of which were impacted. It sucked ass but then again, I am a pain wimp. But I totally survived! And nothing tragic happened. You're going to be A-OK (but I get why you'd freak out).

    I have been the SAME way with major stuff I can't/won't blog about and subsequently, drinking too much wine.

  2. As a Dental Hygienist, I must say, no one has ever come out blind. Or dead. Or injured in any way minus a little facial bruising occasionally plus the missing teeth. I know you can do it. And I know you'll be perfectly fine after. Plus, you get to use the day (and the next) to lounge around, eat pudding and have people do your bidding for you. Because you just had Surgery dammit and you need your pudding brought to you! :)

  3. I was 13 when I had all 4 extracted at the same time.

    You'll be fine and that was the first time I ever went under in my life. But, I have to say it would be far scarier as an adult.

    Good Luck!

  4. Good luck, Kristy! You will be fine and it's perfectly okay to worry. I do it all the time and can't blog about it either.

    Also? Jay was just too damn cute when they put him under for his wisdom tooth extraction. Make sure to get lots of vicodin! :D

  5. KRISTY! I so wish you had blogged about this sooner!! PROMISE ME, you will make Ish go get you pineapple juice post surgery pronto. I know you are going to think I'm just a crazy commenter, but let me tell you, something in the pineapple juice REDUCES SWELLING.

    quick background - i have SEVERE DENTAL ANXIETY (yes, self diagnosed)...i CRIED at the consultation for my wisdom teeth extraction and the dentist said "you know we aren't doing it TODAY right" - yes, i did. hahah.

    anyway, a friend of mine told me this old wives tale she had heard - and i asked a bunch of my dental knowledgable friends and none had heard of it, but i was like WHY WOULDNT i try it, what harm could i chugged some pineapple juice, all day before my surgery, and ate a bunch of little pieces of pineapple. and GET THIS. i didnt swell. my bff stopped by to see me the day after my surgery, and we were hanging out and not until about 2 hours into hanging out did she remember i had surgery the day before - I DID NOT SWELL.

    anyway, you may be too late for the pineapple juice, if you cant have liquids past a certain time, but if you aren't i'm telling you DO it. I can totally relate to your present anxiety and agony...okay sorry for the essay of a comment.


  6. Point the First: THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT. I mean, REALLY. What kind of hypochondriac are you?!!

    Point the Second: Having my wisdom teeth out was the most painful thing that has ever happened to me in my ENTIRE LIFE, including three c-sections and two kidney stones. On the other hand, my husband felt zero pain before, during or after. So there's a range, that's all I'm saying.

    Point the Third: I'm going to be totally awful and cheap and horrible and post a link to a post on my blog (I KNOW, HOW RUDE, I'M SORRY, I JUST CAN'T STOP MYSELF)about how I went to the ER because I convinced myself I had a blood clot.

    So clearly we are twins parted at birth. Except I don't drink. And you have a better nose. But other than that, totally parted at birth.

  7. It is absolutely true. I went 'under' a few years ago and I am now completely blind. I actually have no idea what I am typing right now or where I am typing it. In fact, I can't even read your blog so I don't know why I am talking about being blind either.

  8. Oh man, I am right there with you (as I have told you). I don't want to be put under, but I don't want to be awake for it either, especially since 2.5 of the teeth have emerged. And totally with the "I am having a heart attack!!" when it's acid reflux.

    I have had caffeinated/dehydrated flip-outs from drinking too-strong black tea (and not enough water) where I almost made M. take me to the hospital because I was convinced I was getting a blood clot in my leg because OMG ON THE PILL OMG DATING A SMOKER OMG OMG LONG INTERNATIONAL FLIGHTS OMG. (This is why I don't drink caffeine much/often. It turns me SERIOUSLY CRAZY.)

    I told my doctor my concern about blood clots and she was like, "You have leg pain because you wear shoes with no arch support. (with an askance look at my Converse) Also, if you have a blood clot, YOU WILL KNOW." BUT HOW, HOW WILL I KNOW.

    And also with you on the "things are too hard to write about lately".

    Let me know if you need anything from my end! You know. If someone needs to be cut or something.

  9. When I had my wisdom teeth out I had just moved home from Germany where I lived on bread and chocolate and gained about 90 million pounds. I didn't end up blind or maimed or even wearing someone else's shoes after surgery but my jaw was a little sore and I had to eat mindfully and chew slowly for a little while - losing all 90 million pounds in the process (to be regained with babies, trala!).

    Be brave, we'll all be cheering for you.

  10. *snicker* you're totally normal, girlie.

    when i had mine out (all four, all impacted) i looked my oral surgeon dead in the eye at the pre op meeting and said, "dude. i'm pretty chicken shit about this"
    he looked me dead in the eye and said, "i'd think you were crazy if you weren't chicken shit about this."

    good luck and we'll expect stories of what craziness you said coming out of anesthetic. i *might* have told the doc, "puleeez I do not want to dance with him...."

  11. Ok so I understand how you feel. The only thing I remember about when I got my wisdom teeth removed was DO NOT DRINK FROM A STRAW!! Apparently it makes the pain last longer or some mumbo jumbo. Good luck & you will be fine!!


  12. You are so not alone in the paranoia. I worry about everything, constantly. I'm sure you'll be fine! -hugs-

  13. Oh, hypochondriasis. Let me tell you about that--you haven't been a true hypochondriac until you've been in med school (which I'm not) or have taken Abnormal Psychology (which I have). I diagnosed myself with about 17 different psychological disorders, only about two of which it was even POSSIBLE that I had. It was awesome.

    But wisdom teeth aren't bad. I went under to get mine out (and they weren't even impacted...weird). They made me take out my contacts before they put me under (strange) but there was this beach scene painted on the wall in front of my chair? And I swear to God and you that the tide was coming in. That's all I remember before waking up and insisting to my mother that I could walk to the car instead of using the wheelchair. I promptly fell on my face. My friend Cain sang the song "bitches ain't shit" to his mother while she drove him home.'ll probably get an amusing "this is what I did after I came off the anesthesia!" story from this.

  14. Kristy, you'll be fine. Just don't get "dry socket". That's the worst. So when they tell you to rinse your mouth with salt water a few times a day and stay away from caffeine and carbonated beverages.

    I've had many, many major dental procedures and I am still sighted. Plus there's vicodin!! :)

    When I drove my husband home after his unbelievably impacted tooth was removed, he was hilarious. He must have asked me five times if he could have mashed potatoes for dinner.

  15. i had a ridiculously impacted wisdom tooth removed the morning after being dumped by a guy i was madly in love with. they put me under and had to break the tooth down into little bits. that's the good thing about being "put under" yougo to sleep and wake up seemingly a minute later, a bit dizzy and woozy (one of my favorite words)....and then they give you this magic little pill called vicodin that will literally give you a pain-free-tra-la-la kind of feeling for the next ten days....making you feel a-okay about everything that could possibly be an "issue" in your life. make sure you do not get a refill, because it might be tempting! after the ten days you will be tooth and pain free and will feel like you had a bit of a vacation from life's stressful things and you will feel ready to face the world and any issues again...and hoepfully blog about them again! ;o).....maybe even a bit sooner?!
    good luck, kristy! hope you feel better soon!

  16. The great thing about dentists is that you get a small, but significant gift when you're done. When you were a kid it was a sucker. Now you get Vicodin. So, it's totally worth it.

  17. They gave you valium, right?

    If not, call and ask!

    Having just had oral surgery while awake, I have to say I much prefer the being under option. You count backward from 100, get to about 98, and wake up 45 minutes later, groggy, but wholly unaware of what you've just been through.

    Remember to take your pain meds as SOON as you get home. Even though you will still be on the drugs from the procedure, take them. You don't want to do what I did, and think "I'm not hurting now, I'll wait" ... and end up in pain while waiting for the drugs to kick in.

  18. Good luck! I don't have wisdom teeth so I obviously can't offer any words of wisdom on the subject.

  19. hehehe....I had to have a benigne tumor removed from under my missing tooth. I chose the oral surgon because my best friend was the assistant and anestisiologist. And from all my reserch the surgon was very qualified and capable.

    I don't remember it...but she told me as she was in the process of putting me under...I GRABBED HIS NUTS and said...tell ya don't hurt me...i wont hurt YOU!

    Holey hell...she said he had to gasp, laugh, get up and walk away befor he could come back and do the job!

  20. I recently discovered I have a fear of large medical machines. Even when they are doing something completely innocuous like x-rays. Something about needing something from something that big and expensive completely slays me.

    I've been under exactly once, and it was for my wisdom teeth. And look how great that turned out! :D

    It's OK to be afraid. Just be honest with the dentist, and don't try to fight it too much, because then you'll get into that cycle where fighting it makes it worse.

    I hope things are OK with Ish.

  21. I had all 4 of my impacted wisdom teeth removed years ago. I don't remember anything particularly painful just alot of swelling. The oral surgeon had huge hands.

    Take your pain meds on time or even a tiny bit early. You want to stay ahead of the pain and not wait to have it get out of control.

    Being nervous is ok, just remember to keep breathing and you'll do fine.

  22. I had my wisdom teeth removed (all 4, none impacted) and was put under. I don't have any funny stories though I do have a funny picture of me shortly after laying in bed with my dog looking positively drugged out.

    The doctor gave me vicodin as a perscription paid med and I took it, but it didn't help any, I was still in pain. Allbeit it wasn't horrible, unbearable pain... but it was enough to complain about and cry a little. I mainly cried over the pain meds not working for me, rather than the pain actually hurting.

    On a side note... I was perfectly fine watching gore on tv (meaning blood and guts, not Al Gore) or in person... but after the surgery I became the biggest wuss! I got woozy looking at my teeth afterwards (yes, they gave them back to me) and still get light-headed when I see some gross things when before I wouldn't. Strange? Yes

  23. First, have you ever heard, "Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they are not out to get you...".

    Maybe you're a bit of an "excessive worrier" when it comes to some things, but at least you'll be prepared for all eventualities, AND will most likely be pleasantly surprised and relieved at how well things turned out.

    Seriously though, I had all 4 impacted wisdom teeth taken out when I was 16 under a general anesthesia. It was much less traumatic than I expected.

    And yes - there are always potential risks and complications of anesthesia (general or local), but you'll have very capable and caring people looking after you. Things will go well :)

  24. My wisdom teeth - all four of them impacted, one breaking in half when they were pulling it out - were done under local anaesthesia. And I didn't end up blind, BUT...

    I had 2 surgeries done, right and left. The day after, each separate time, the Mormons came to the door and I answered in my fuzzy purple robe and wearing an icepack. BOTH. TIMES. So there's another potential side effect.

  25. Hey,

    I think we can all have a tendency towards hypochondria - I often self diagnose and tell my husband what I have and he rolls his eyes at me. Okay, so maybe he has no tendencies to be a hypochodriac, but he's the only one.

    I had all four teeth out in the operation - my first and only so far - was scared stiff. Woke up and and was missing the teeth they said they'd take and was a little woozy. There was that issue about my shirt being untucked and it wasn't when I went in, so I often wonder if he had a perve at my tits, or my teeth were so hard to remove he had the assistant holding me by the shirt while he pulled on the tooth. I don't know and I never want to.

    My advice for post up care - swish often with salty water. Just some table salt in a glass of water. It helps heal it faster. Worked like a charm for me.

    I had swelling, coz I had all four out. I have a square jaw line, so I looked like a cube for a few days and missed a Rodney Rude concert.


  26. You're being featured on Five Star Friday:

  27. just had a partial thyroidectomy. recouping on couch with laptop and your blog :) think of being under as a well deserved uninterrupted nap. you'll do beautifully.

  28. I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth out at the same time. My only side effect was that my face swelled up. (I have very delicate skin!) It gave the term "chipmunk cheeks" a whole new meaning. It went away after a few days, but looked rilly, rilly awful.

  29. The only time I was ever put under was for my wisdom tooth surgery. All I have to say is put your trust in a fantastic oral surgeon and everything will be just dandy. I got a diazapam before the surgery took a little nap during, got home and drugged myself up, drooled on myself for a couple hours while sleeping it off and was eating cookies soaked in tea that very night. Almost no swelling and absolutely no bruising. AND since I was in college and on winter break I had the excuse to sit on my ass in front of the tv doped up on percoset for a week while everyone was nice to me. Maybe the best vacation I've ever had.

    Good luck!

  30. Oh, sweetie, of course you're anxious. Having anyone poke anything around in your mouth while rendering you unconscious is nerve-wracking. Don't beat yourself up over that. Look at the bright side: at least you WILL be unconscious. I had three crowns last year and they don't knock you out for that shit, unfortunately : ( Novacaine-shmovacaine.

    Another bright side? Vicodin. Make sure they load you up before you leave. Don't settle for that codeine crap.

  31. How did it go? Are you ok? I'm hoping that you are sleeping and will post in the next day or two with an update?


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