Everything I Needed To Know I Learned From Watching E!

Obviously you already know I'm lying because certainly if I paid any attention to things E! has tried to teach me, I would weigh about 1/3 of my current heft and not do things like wear "nice" sweatpants to work. (I have concluded that there cannot be a Fashion Emergency if there is no "fashion" to be found in the first place. Folks like me just fly under the "emergency" radar completely.)

But I have learned two important things from E!

1) Michael Caine has taught himself how to never blink when on camera. He decided early on that to blink on camera makes a character less compelling, and so he trained himself not to. (You'll totally notice this next time you see him in something.) Boy, the hardships that actors face, huh? Anyway, the non-blinking thing is both kind of creepy and kind of cool, but mostly it's a totally useless thing I have clinking around in my brain that serves ZERO purpose. Now you have it, too. You're welcome.

2) MORE IMPORTANTLY, I heard a very important tidbit ages ago, explaining why Julia Roberts has been such a box office success. The theory is, when you are trying to build a name for yourself as an Actor, there are two ways to go. Once you've been cast in a moderately successful film, all kinds of scripts will come your way. And you can either (A) be super selective, waiting for the "perfect" script, or (B) go "this is good enough."

The theory goes, Actors who don't wait, and just keep showing up in films without great concern for their "quality" tend to do better overall.

The Actors who wait -- for whatever reason: quality, rehab, etc. -- end up with all kind of problems. If there's been a hiatus, there's pressure for the next film to be really good. There's build-up. And then if there's all this build-up and the film sucks, your career's probably sunk. Alternately, if you wait too long, probably no one will care when you show up again, you're no longer a draw, yawn.

Note: this analogy made sense to me in the shower this morning.

My point was going to be something like, I hate having all this time in between posts because I build up expectations IN MY OWN HEAD. And then I feel like I can't post the mundane crap because, well. Because.

I just have to remind myself that it's better to show up with a few Mary Reilly and I Love Trouble-esque posts than to fade into oblivion. Erin Brockovich is bound to be around the corner.

P.S. No, no winner announced yet. I suck. But soon! (Hopefully today!)


  1. oh god, now whenever i see Michael Caine i'm going to be *willing* him to blink...JUST ONCE!!!

  2. Ooh, that Julia Roberts thing is so interesting! I wonder if that could also apply to other areas of life. I haven't thought this through much yet, but I wonder if it could relate to dating somehow. For example, I've been in a two-year slump of not dating ANYONE because I've been waiting for Mr. Perfect and I think the longer this dry spell lasts, the harder it is for me to confidently put myself out there. So maybe I should have been more willing to go on questionable dates and make out with less-than-perfect dudes all along...

  3. I love this theory. My blog has been super stale lately for the same reason. But today, I finally finished my Great Interview Experimant, only two months late.

    I think it's more of a Mona Lisa Smile than an I love Trouble or an Erin Brockovich. Somewhere in the middle. Memorable bits combined with painfully boring parts.

  4. You are putting too much pressure on yourself. A blog should be fun not just another chore. Now stop watching E! and pick a winner.

  5. Kristy,
    You summed up my thoughts perfectly! I've been mulling over a situation that I'm going to write about for the last several weeks and I fear that I can't do it justice. So instead of just writing a couple of posts per week as usual...I all but quit writing. How stupid is that? I guess I have to realize that whether my post is "Pretty Woman" or "Mary Reilly"...anything is better than not writing.

    Thank you for making me think about this.

    If you ever find yourself in So. Ca. please come on over and we can drink lots of wine and get all philosophical and stuff.

  6. I do worry about posting boring things on my blog too... on Sunday, I got 144 hits - my highest ever, which is awesome for little me! - and even just in the last three days I've been afraid to post unless I've sent a draft to three people before showing it to a bunch of strangers on the inner tubes.

    You have inspired me to post the mediocre with the good!

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