Everything I Needed To Know I Learned From Watching E!

Obviously you already know I'm lying because certainly if I paid any attention to things E! has tried to teach me, I would weigh about 1/3 of my current heft and not do things like wear "nice" sweatpants to work. (I have concluded that there cannot be a Fashion Emergency if there is no "fashion" to be found in the first place. Folks like me just fly under the "emergency" radar completely.)

But I have learned two important things from E!

1) Michael Caine has taught himself how to never blink when on camera. He decided early on that to blink on camera makes a character less compelling, and so he trained himself not to. (You'll totally notice this next time you see him in something.) Boy, the hardships that actors face, huh? Anyway, the non-blinking thing is both kind of creepy and kind of cool, but mostly it's a totally useless thing I have clinking around in my brain that serves ZERO purpose. Now you have it, too. You're welcome.

2) MORE IMPORTANTLY, I heard a very important tidbit ages ago, explaining why Julia Roberts has been such a box office success. The theory is, when you are trying to build a name for yourself as an Actor, there are two ways to go. Once you've been cast in a moderately successful film, all kinds of scripts will come your way. And you can either (A) be super selective, waiting for the "perfect" script, or (B) go "this is good enough."

The theory goes, Actors who don't wait, and just keep showing up in films without great concern for their "quality" tend to do better overall.

The Actors who wait -- for whatever reason: quality, rehab, etc. -- end up with all kind of problems. If there's been a hiatus, there's pressure for the next film to be really good. There's build-up. And then if there's all this build-up and the film sucks, your career's probably sunk. Alternately, if you wait too long, probably no one will care when you show up again, you're no longer a draw, yawn.

Note: this analogy made sense to me in the shower this morning.

My point was going to be something like, I hate having all this time in between posts because I build up expectations IN MY OWN HEAD. And then I feel like I can't post the mundane crap because, well. Because.

I just have to remind myself that it's better to show up with a few Mary Reilly and I Love Trouble-esque posts than to fade into oblivion. Erin Brockovich is bound to be around the corner.


P.S. No, no winner announced yet. I suck. But soon! (Hopefully today!)