Actually, well, wait.
FIRST OF ALL, I find Jerseylicious the single most compelling show on television for reasons I cannot begin to fathom. It's kind of like Jersey Shore, but with fewer STDs and more animal prints, and all set against a backdrop of a hair salon, so there's some vague purpose for the cast to exist.
Also, Jerseylicious provides you with a widget that allows you to Jerse-a-cize yourself, which makes it win.
Please click on that photo and Jersey yourself up and then leave me a link in comments and I'll post all the images. (Let me know if you want me to link to your blog/site if you do!)
But anyway. Back to Jersey Shore.
Every time anyone on the show opens his or her mouth, it's pretty much the worst thing you've ever heard anyone say, ever. Not one substantive thing has been uttered by any of the cast, and that is the whole point. Society? Hell? Handbasket? Yes. Yes. Yes. But man, is that ever one sparkly basket!
On the last episode, Snooki was lamenting (uh, my word, not hers) her lack of boyfriend, and so she decided to make a list of the kind of guy she's looking for. Ostensibly (me again) on the idea that if you put your wants out into the universe, the universe will provide.
I wish I'd had Snooki around when I was single-and-looking. Imagine how much help this list could have been! Online dating profile? IT HAS ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN.
Dear Invisible Internet Friends, if YOU are single, your search has just gotten easier. Because I now present to you the things Snooki, our Everywoman, wants to find in a man. I daresay the list is even in order of importance:
- Big sense of humor
- Likes to party
- Fistpumps and frolics
- Isn’t a jerk-off
- A dork at heart
- Smells good
- Pays for meals
- Likes pickles
- Takes an interest into my hobbies
- Not so serious
- Likes to sleep in