Confessions Of An Exercise Hater

I have a confession.

I have written about this before, but every time I write it -- let alone every time I say it -- it falls on deaf or disbelieving ears. But here goes, because, you know, you guys haven't yelled at me in a while:

I do not like walking.

I know, I know. WHO doesn't like walking? That's just crazy. It's just...walking. 


Not liking walking is akin to telling people in California that you don't like avocados, which I don't, so essentially if there's ever a basic-tenets-of-health conversation around these parts and people find out I like neither avocados nor walking, they think I should sent to a lab. Or at least banished from the Bay Area.

But I don't.  I don't like walking.  I find it incredibly boring.  I do not take pleasure in the simplicity of being outside and breathing outside air.  I do not enjoy the incredibly slow burn of walking, even though I know it can melt away fat because it elevates your heart-rate just so.  Even with music, even with books on tape (mp3), I still don't like it.

Now. You do not need to barrage me with all the reasons that walking is beneficial to one's health. I'm a millionteen hundred pounds overweight and yet I am surprisingly well versed in all the things I could do to not be so.

Last year, when I was super pregnant and eager to have Eve join us on the outside, a great many of you insisted I go for walks every day.  I recognized this suggestion to be a good one, and yet I did not partake. Because I already hated walking enough.  I have never really enjoyed "going for a walk" in my life; when you add my being overweight, I enjoy it even less. When you add my being overweight AND being pregnant AND Napa being 90+ degrees, "take a long walk each day" may as well be a suggestion to set myself on fire.

My first question is: am I the only one who hates going for walks? I can't be, and yet I have never found solidarity on this point. Everyone -- including my husband -- thinks I'm nuts.

Next, I want you to know that I bring this up because I need to get back into exercising.  And since I don't like walking, I have to find other things to do.

Or, let's say this another way, so you don't think I'm under any delusions:

I don't really like exercising. 

I don't know where my deep-seated dislike comes from, but it's there. Does that mean I'm lazy? No. I would never, ever, ever in a scrillion years cop to being lazy. I'm not lazy. I am incredibly busy and industrious. I just don't use my busy industriousness physically.

Except, I know. I have to.

So...what to do?

For one thing, I know that the less I weigh, the easier it is to work out. So that's sort of motivational. (It's also sort of really sucky, though, because working out is hard for me right now. Granted, it's loads easier than it was 10, 20, and 30 pounds ago, but still. Sucky.)

(Also? Let me just state for the record: if you've never really been overweight, you have NO idea how awful "exercise" can be. I'm not using this as an excuse, I'm just saying that it's an extra impediment to being motivated.)

Anyway. The truth of the matter is that something's gotta give. I have to find something I can and will do with regularity, which means finding something I don't hate.

Walking is out.

I like swimming. But, sad though this is, the "old people soup" classes were extremely time-consuming and not intense enough. Granted, any exercise is better than no exercise, but water aerobics are just not my long-term solution.

I am also not in good enough shape to take a regular master swim class. I have the technical ability to swim at the master level. I do not have the physical stamina to do it yet, though.

I have never taken spin. Should I try this?

I tried to take a Zumba class a couple weeks ago, except when I got there, the class had been changed at the last-minute to be HIP HOP.  (Yes. Hip hop. I took a hip hop class. OMG. You can imagine THAT blog post is in the works.)

Will I like Zumba? Should I bother trying it?

I mean, I guess I can just do what I did in college: my own thing. I would just stick to myself and show up at random times and do random cardio and random weights and occasionally swim a few laps and that worked fine. I didn't feel the pressure of being in a class. I didn't have a routine. And I didn't get bored. I just got in, got it done, got out.

There is something to be said for hopping on an elliptical machine where I can listen to my music, look at a magazine and watch tv on silent mode, all while being able to spy on Eve in the childcare room.

You just can't do that while walking. And yeah, to the many of you are all, "But walking clears my mind!" I say, "That's what showers are for!"

So for those of you who hate working out: what do YOU do?