'TIS THE SEASON

Just one more thing...

UPDATE: Right after I finished this post, ANOTHER Christmas movie starring Peter Falk came on. This one involves Katy Segal and she and not-Columbo are both some sort of Angel-God-Santa characters, but it's tough to figure out on mute while paying mostly no attention. But I am mentioning this because, for some reason, Peter Falk's character decided to pretend to be a shopgirl and DRESS IN DRAG and what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't take a picture of my television to show you this Christmas marvel?




I feel like I've blogged this before, but when my sister and her boyfriend were in high school, they developed a certain way of saying this phrase. Basically, say it as loud and snottily as possible: 'TIS THE SEASON. Emphasis on 'TIS. This comes in handy when someone is especially rude to you while you're doing (or trying to do) something festive. Say you're somewhere Christmas shopping, and someone cuts you off in line, or blows past you as you reach for the door. 'TIS the season!

I'm not NOT in a festive mood, it's just that I haven't decorated the house or gotten a tree or any of those things. And while it's only December 2, I feel behind. Because one day behind soon becomes one week. You know.

So I'm debating how this blog entry will go. I could tell you about how I cried at lunch with Ish yesterday because of a perfectly happy friendly email I received. Or I could tell you instead about the amazing array of holiday movies on the Hallmark channel. As I write t his very sentence, Peter Falk is singing and dancing a jazzy Christmas tune with a toothy pre-teen girl in some horrible movie where Valerie Bertinelli plays her mom and works at a hospital and believes in a ghost. How these things are connected eludes me, and I'm going back to DVR'd episodes of Supernanny now.

But in case you weren't paying attention to my Tweets, I've also landed on a Christmas movie starring Steve Guttenberg AS THE LOVE INTEREST, who is marrying Crystal Bernard (who I always thought was totally hot, but man, she's had some work done) and somehow they're becoming Santa and Mrs. Claus.

Then there was the one that made me laugh right out loud for its horrible-osity, the one starring Candace Cameron and Tom Arnold, I'm not even kidding, and I LOVE movies that take place in office buildings written by someone who's NEVER had a corporate job. I'm always reminded of Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion where they pretend to be businesswomen but get thrown for a loop when the waitress asks them what kind of business they're in.

In this movie where Candace is supposed to be a high-powered corporate woman, written in 2007 no less, she is showing a "client" a slide show but the projector she's using is one of those old-fashioned ones with actual slides and a carousel. Also, she is supposed to say "Celtic" like with a hard C, except she pronounces it like the basketball team and no one working on this movie seemed to know the difference. ALSO also, she uses the word "arithmetic" instead of math, which makes me think the person who wrote the script is not so much under the age of 65.

It also makes me think I should be writing these movies.

BUT THE BEST MOVIE ever is one starring -- I don't even know how to prepare you for this -- Jane Kaczmerek and John Denver. I KNOW!

Damn it. I lied. I didn't go back to Supernanny in time, and now Peter Falk is wearing a bushy mustache (he was facial hair-free last we saw him) hugging some guy. Maybe he's Santa? Or God? Or an angel? I'm just guessing here, based on how these movies go, but I'm keeping the computer mute. Poor Columbo.

* * * * * * * *

Yesterday I got the friendliest email ever from a woman helping manage Crazy Aunt Purl's virtual book tour. Seems our dear Laurie has written a second book and it's coming out soon and this woman wanted to know if I would like to review the book and interview Laurie (or have her guest blog). And of course, OF COURSE I would, happily, yes.

But ouch, too.

Purl and I started blogging at about the same time, had similar audiences and (I presume) traffic. We wrote about similar things: living single post-divorce, with cats and yarn. And wine. We even sort of look alike.

And here we are, nearly five years later. We are both in verrrrrrrry different places. It's amazing. I am happy with what I've accomplished and I'm thrilled with where I am in life. It's exactly where I wanted to be.

But -- and you know what I'm going to say, of course -- I can't pretend it doesn't make me envious that she's written two books while I can't manage to complete NaBloPoMo.

Yes. We have had different priorities, different paths, different goals, different experiences. And my goodness, I would never, ever say one single negative thing about Laurie, who is still my favorite blogger.

Some of the comedians who started their stand-up career at the same time Ish did are now headlining at The Punchline and getting gigs on Comedy Central. He's performed with dozens of folks who've managed to get on television (Letterman, Ferguson, Last Comic Standing, etc). Assuming he's every bit as talented as these folks (and I do believe he is), there are many reasons he hasn't advanced as they have. Different priorities, different paths, different goals, different experiences.

But I know how he feels when he's been asked to open for one of these guys. Or worse, when he's been asked to help promote one of their shows. He doesn't begrudge them their comedic success. He gives them a good show, and is thankful for the opportunity -- glad he was on the radar screen at all. But sometimes it's a hard pill to swallow.

And that's how it felt yesterday when I received the email. I am proud to be on the radar screen (thank you to whoever recommended me, by the way!), and am happy to help Purl/Laurie in any way I can. I absolutely want her book to do well and would buy a copy if I weren't being sent a copy for review (just as I bought her first one -- in fact, I'd pre-ordered it).

I think you get what I'm saying, though. It's hard for this NOT to be a reminder of what I haven't done. And what I'm not doing and what I could have done already and -- scariest of all -- I'm not sure I will ever be able to do.

Which I will totally get over. Look for more info about the book and tour in Jan & Feb.

In the meantime, I have to get back to ignoring this Hallmark movie while playing peek-a-boo with a fauxhawked baby.

(And by the way? Who was letting Valerie feather her hair in 2003!?!? 'TIS THE SEASON!)