Sunday, December 13, 2009

Except No One In The Bible Wears A Top Hat

You know what I just remembered?

When I was a little girl, I used to think God was the Scotch Tape logo.

I don't know what year we're talking...1979? 1980? Something like that. And at Christmastime, there were commercials featuring "invisible tape" by 3M (what we all know as Scotch tape), and the main character was an invisible man. He had a top hat and a cane, both adorned with the familiar Scotch-tape tartan patterns. And the invisible man wore white gloves and used the tape to wrap Christmas presents.

And really, I think it's totally reasonable that I'd get my wires crossed. I -- quite obviously -- did not grow up in a religious household, and was rather fuzzy on the whole God-Jesus-Santa-Christmas thing. Meanwhile, my mom had explained to me (as best she could) that God was invisible.

So...you put it all together and the invisible man in the commercial wrapping gifts? Must be God.

Just a little insight into my young, confused mind.

For what it's worth, I also thought the man on the Quaker Oats canister was Benjamin Franklin.

16 comments:

  1. I thought the Quaker Oats guy was Ben Franklin, too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Makes me wonder what weirdisms I'm inadvertently allowing my children.

    ReplyDelete
  3. yep - I thought ben was the quaker oats dude too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. When I was little my grandfather had a little statue of Buddha in his house, and I must have asked what it was, and it must have been in the way my mother described Buddhism to me, but I forever thought God looked like Buddha (I was also not raised in a religious household). Then, to further the confusion I remember asking my parents why churches have steeples and my parents explained that they pointed up towards heaven, so for a very long time after every time I saw a steeple, I imagined Buddha sitting cross-legged above it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. only recently did i realize that the quaker oats guy was NOT ben franklin, and i am a history major...

    ReplyDelete
  6. You mean the Quaker Oats guy ISN'T Ben Franklin?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I thought Wilfred Brimley and the Quaker oats guy were the same person.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think someone must TELL us that Quaker Oats guy is Ben Franklin, because we ALL thought that. Scotch tape guy? Not so much.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Whenever I think of Jesus, I think of the shaggy-haired baby doll that I played with. Barbie and Ken somehow became Mary and Joseph, and had Jesus in a manger along with Dallas, Barbie's horse. To this day I think of that doll at Christmas time.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I always thought that First Lady Barbara Bush looked like a cross between the quaker oats man and Benjamin Franklin... actually I still do.

    ReplyDelete
  11. No one in the Bible is DESCRIBED as wearing a top hat, but I don't think we REALLY know.

    ReplyDelete
  12. When I was little, I envisioned heaven as a small, falling-apart wooden shelter full of skeletons (the dead people) and an old man with a walking stick and long white hair (God). It was kind of creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  13. While I agree with Mixtape Jones on the top hat comment, per se, I do feel compelled to point out that top hats don't really go with, like, tunics and dirty sandals.
    I'm just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  14. From a Quaker website (because I too thought he was Franklin):

    Quaker Oats Man Quaker Oats Man - One of the oldest advertising mascots in America, the Quaker Oats Man became the first registered trademark for a breakfast cereal in 1877. Through the years, many have mistaken the Quaker Oats Company mascot as William Penn or Ben Franklin, but in truth, the image of a man dressed in the Quaker garb was purposely chosen to reflect the "Quaker" faith and its values of honesty, integrity, and purity. Surprisingly, the actual Society of Friends (a.k.a. the "Quakers") went to court to have their association with the cereal removed, but they lost the court battle.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I was CERTAIN it was Ben Franklin. LMAO.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Fabulous! The only thing more so than Kristy's post is everyone's comments.

    ReplyDelete