And Then I Wrote About Commercials

In case you hadn't picked up on it, I have the television on in the background a lot these days. Mostly I'm playing peek-a-boo or going wee wee wee wee all the way home with my child's toes, but day-long sittings of that can make one totally insane. So IN THEORY, the television is helping me stay sane.

In reality, the tv is making me nuttier than ever because for whatever reasons, I keep watching the same channels and horrible Christmas movies and Golden Girls re-runs and DVR'd episodes of Supernanny and Clean House and then Hoarders OH MY GOD HAVE YOU SEEN THAT SHOW? Which means I've been subjected to the same sets of commercials.

SIDEBAR: In case you're wondering, I will not be blogging about the conclusion of Top Chef because AGAIN the biggest dickhead of the bunch won, and I am sorely, bitterly disappointed. I love the show, love it, but I disagree with their awarding the person who cooks the best final meal, rather than take the entire season into consideration. I hated Hosea, too. And Ilan. (Harold and Stephanie were allowed to win, and Hung was clearly the better cook though also a dick.)

Anyway, in my same-commercial-watching life, I noticed something and was like, "Thank God I have a blog because who else in the world could I tell this to?" "I mean, other than my husband, who is fabulous for feigning interest."

Remember that old Folgers' commercial called (apparently) "Peter Comes Home"? Where the son's been away (college?) and has hitched a ride home to be with his family on Christmas, and it's a surprise. So he arrives at dawn and makes Folgers and the parents wake up from the smell of the coffee and know he's home? I think a little sister is involved, but my memory's a little fuzzy on the details.

Anyway. Have you seen the remake/update? In this one, the son comes home at dawn and the little sister opens the door, because clearly she was waiting all night for him to arrive. (Apparently the parents gave up waiting and went to sleep.) She says something about how happy she is that he's made it home, and he says something about how it's a long way from West Africa.

Then they make Folgers' coffee, and while it's brewing the son takes a deep inhale of the aroma and says, "Ahhh, REAL coffee."

Invisible Internet Friends, I know there are bigger problems in the world than this, but I sat blinking at my television.

Did the folks at Folgers' ad agency just not know? I mean, that's not possible, right? So we must conclude that in Folgers Land, a globe-trotting young man not only prefers the taste of instant, crystallized coffee to less processed coffee, BUT believes that the instant, crystallized coffee is somehow more authentic than the coffee they serve in the place where coffee comes from?

I liken this to a man who's spent a summer farming potatoes in Idaho, only to return to his hometown where he promptly orders fries at McDonald's and says, "Ahhhh, REAL potatoes."

I was incensed. And I told Ish about it. And then the next time the commercial came on and Ish was with me, I was all, "LOOK! LOOK!" and then -- shall we assume his name is still Peter? Maybe Folgers-Peter? -- just said, "Ahh, coffee."

FOLGERS TOOK OUT THE "REAL."

This makes me feel like I am not the only totally insane mom-to-an-infant sitting at home paying attention to things like where Folgers-Peter's goddamned priorities are.

I don't know who, exactly, took issue with the notion that "real" coffee comes in a canister and coffee from West Africa sucks, but I'm glad that someone did. I sleep better now. (Also, I'm still drinking decaf.)

If you want to see what I'm talking about, the clip is on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOQk_pWmisA

(But be warned. Half the commenters think Folgers took the word "real" out to be "PC" which doesn't make any sense; the other half think the brother and sister are in an incestuous relationship; and then a few just make horribly racist remarks. YouTube comments scare the crap out of me.)

Posts about things NOT on my television are due next. I swear. Also, I'm anxiously awaiting footage of my a cappella concert because we were quite good (all things considered) and I want to post our 12 Days of Christmas!