"Of" Is Not Spelled With A "V"

I return home tomorrow, after nearly a full week on the road with BlogHer. The two events went very well, and I'm as proud of the organization I represent as I am of my own efforts for making the event run as smoothly as any I've ever done.

For whatever reason, I wasn't covered in hives throughout the event, but today my forehead itched like crazy, which is very attractive.

None of these things are the point of this post.

I just want you to know that I will be flying home tomorrow and then drooling a little at my desk and then weekending and THEN? I will be able to say that the "BLOGHER EVENTS ARE MY LIFE" portion of this year will have concluded, and I will be home and blogging with regularity and fervor. Hoo. Rah.

But since there's another day and flying and drooling in my immediate future, I thought I'd put this fun post out there to get your feedback.

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Language is fascinating. Spelling is very, very hard.

I am not a poor speller by any means, but also it has not been my forte. When I was young and first learning to alphabetize, I was not good at it. VERY not good at it. It is the first memory I have, in fact, of crying over homework.

This came back to haunt me, laughingly, bite-me-in-the-ass-ingly at the conferences for reasons I'll perhaps get into another time.

My point, though, is that sometimes when my brain is not working so well, I can lose the ability to spell. And I KNOW that I am not alone in this.

Exhibit A:

I remember coming home from school one day when I was about 10, and my mom asking me, "HOW DO YOU SPELL 'OF'?"

I was a bit concerned.

"OF? You mean, like as in Oh-Eff of?"

"F???" My mom replied.

"Yeah...?"

"I HAD THAT! But then I started thinking too hard about it, and I could not figure out why there would be an F in the word OF. But I spelled it Oh-Vee, and that just didn't look right. Of COURSE it's Oh-Eff!"

I remember thinking that my mother was crazy, and also that even if I did grow older, I could never be THAT silly.

Yes, well, hello.

I actually found myself faltering over the word "of" a few days ago, and realized I was doomed. I mean, there are certain words and phrases that trip me up all the time, but "of" was not one of them until now.

It's just that I consider myself kind of good at this sort of thing, and yet I have issues with the following every single time:

• I can NEVER spell gague gauge correctly on the first try.
  
  
• Ocasion is a bitchass motherfucker. ONE of the consonants gets two and the other one does not. But WHICH IS WHICH?
  
  
• In the same vain? In the same vein?
  
  
• Guarentee is not right.
  
  
• Neither is curriculum.
  
  
• Lay? Lain? Lie? Lied? Laid? Layed? LAINED?
  
  
• If I'm typing fast, I spell my first name wrong. Ksiryt, sometimes. Usually Krsity.
  

And probably there are 49 million other ones I am not thinking of right yet. But I'm sure you all have some, yeah?