Metaphysical Dilemma

Let's just say that I'm not entirely sure where I fall in the "there is a heaven"/"there is not a heaven" discussion. Having been raised with basically zero religion, I find many religious beliefs to be fascinating and sometimes inspiring, but also sometimes totally crazy. A lot of times I just don't get it.

Are my parents watching me from heaven, or what?

I guess I just kind of assume they are, without really saying so or thinking too hard about the details, la la la. Because as soon as we start down that road, it gets weird and silly very fast.

Like, do they get to choose when they watch me? Do I get to choose when? Because there are all kinds of times in my life when -- hi -- I don't really need an audience. Ahem. And occasionally when I am experiencing one of those times, let's say when I'm taking a shower, it's like, Okay! Hi Mom & Dad! You can pull that magical fluffy cloud-shade down now! I'm about to get naked and you are not invited! Go watch your grandson or something! Hey, I hear it's going to rain! Why don't you go bowl with the angels so we get some thunder!

Right. Totally crazy.

I bring this up because this morning, I was in the bathroom, not dressed yet and was, um, sitting. And while I was sitting, I decided to blow my nose. But after I blew my nose I realized the waste basket was all the way across the bathroom and at a tough angle. I would have to be a very good shot to get the tissue into the basket from my position. Still, for fun, I closed one eye, and concentrated, and sure enough. I made it. Totally a 3-pointer, all air.

So yeah. While on the one hand, going to the bathroom and blowing my nose is precisely the kind of private* moment I experience that convinces me that no, my parents aren't literally watching me from above; the other hand is like, Damn, I hope my dad saw me make that shot!

*Well, private except for the part where we tell the whole internet.


  1. When I was growing up and "sitting" in the bathroom, I used to always try to make the shot into the waste can. And in my mind, I thought I was practing for bucket #6 on Bozo buckets. (did everyone have The Bozo Circus, or just us in Chicago?)

  2. p.s. I think your parents saw the shot. I think they see what is important to us and the great things we want them to see. And that shot was great.

  3. Your post made me wonder if that woman who FUSED to the toilet after sitting for two years had parents in heaven watching her.

    "Pamela honey, get up! GET UP!"

  4. I know I wonder that too. When I graduated from college I was smiling thinking "I hope grandma is watching" but when I am doing "other stuff" I must admit that thought comes up and I think "I hope this isn't on grandma's heaven tivo"

  5. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks about these things. :-)

  6. oh i am so thankful for you, k. because i think of that type of shit all the time! creeps me out to think mom would be watching me have sex, yet makes me happy to think she would know when i get the "atta girl" from my boss.

    so instead of thinking of it, i play cleopatra and dance in de nile.

  7. I fully believe they see the stuff when we are shining or need help or feel alone. I also believe there are a lot of things they don't want to watch - and then they make themselves busy.

  8. I always wonder things like this. Can my grandma see me when I'm having sex? Ew. This post did make me giggle though :)

  9. Very funny. Lol- as it were


  10. and I'm glad -if not everyone-at least someone is paying attention to me

  11. I so had to google the lady fused to the toilet seat. :)

    I think of those things too, and I have a lot of closed relatives that have passed away and wonder if they are ALL watching me at the same time.


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