Kim Kardashian, Salman Rushdie, Twitter, And Everything Winning On The Internet

Maybe you were like, "I wonder how Kristy's diet is going?" and decided to stop by to find out. And then instead of learning anything about my weightloss efforts, you discovered that I'm actually BFFs with one of the world's greatest authors ever to live, ever. And then maybe you were all, "Um, if Kristy was actually friends with Salman Rushdie, she probably would have mentioned this earlier," to which I replied, "That is absolutely not relevant."

Here is what actually happened.

Perhaps you may have heard that Kim Kardashian is getting divorced. I know, I know. But it's true. And just when I thought I'd seen every kind of Tweet and trending topic possible on the subject, this magic happened:

Yes. THE Salman Rushdie. Making fun of Kim Kardashian. In Limerick. ON TWITTER.

My mind was happily blown, as I was reminded that not all intelligentsia live in a technophobic cave ignoring everything pop culture. Some artists just have funnier things to say about it.

I was moved to tweet this:

Well.

You can imagine my surprise when my phone pinged, just moments later, because he replied.

I literally started sweating and had to hide in a closet while I composed myself.

I nervously tapped out my lame (yet actually? totally accurate) reply:

Quite obviously my brilliance stunned him into silence, although that's not really surprising. What IS surprising is that he allowed our friendship to become public knowledge. But I guess this means I can finally admit we're, like, totally besties.

It feels good to get that off my chest.

UPDATE: HAHA. The Gothamist noticed the tweet. Thanks for letting me know, Sophie-Anne!