For All The Blog Detectives

Not long ago, I deleted a rude comment from an anonymous someone for maybe the second time since starting this blog. The comment stuck with me anyway, as they tend to do.

The gist was about how I'm not a real blogger anymore.

Which, okay. I suppose that's true. And it's not like it takes a BLOG DETECTIVE to note that I hardly post anymore, and that when I do it's mostly to post photos or pictures and write captions, not meaty, important things like about how I took the wrong bus or don't understand the refrigeration rules for mayonnaise. (Yah. I wrote about both of those things at one point in my blogging career.)

It's just...

My life is different now. Not just because I have two small children, although that would be plenty of reason right there.


Guess who started walking this weekend? 

But my work, my company, makes everything different. I work ALL THE TIME. I love what I do, and I'm proud of the company we've built. Are building.

"Staff Meeting" 
But -- and I do feel like this needs clarification -- it's a real company. No, we do not have cubicles (YET), but we are really really real. Like with a real business plan and goals and infrastructure and clients and employees (fewer than half are featured above) and salaries and benefits. And even profits.

It's awesome, but it's incredibly stressful because of all the reasons owning your own business is stressful.

And, obviously, whenever I'm not working, I'm spending time with my family. I make every effort to be fully attentive to my children during the parts of the days, evenings, and weekends I'm with them.

Someday, maybe I'll add my own entries to the already-everything-has-been-written-about-it canon of "working mother guilt/not-guilt" blog posts.

The point of this entry, however, is to say that after the kids are in bed and it's somewhere between 8 and 9 p.m., I am not a lot of good. I use that time to have grown-up talk with my husband, catch up on one or two shows on television, maybe, and mostly zone out playing Draw Something. I don't have it in me to start blogging at 9 p.m. I don't have it in me to do much of anything after 9 p.m.

If I socialize, it's either with the children or after they go to bed, and both of these things require planning ESPECIALLY if a sitter is involved. Which, again, isn't anything new or different from how ALL working parents live, it's just that there are only so many hours in a day. Blah blah blah.

I'm not complaining. I have chosen this path and I am making the most of it. But everything is a compromise. I had to quit my BELOVED a cappella group. I "joined" a book club about a year ago and I have attended precisely none of the once/month meetings. Not one. My husband got me a gift certificate for a massage for my birthday (LAST JULY) that I haven't made time to redeem.

And then someday. Someday, once this company is bigger and more successful and different and it's not taking every ounce of energy I have that isn't going into being a mother, then I will write. Again. And the cool thing is that then?  I'll have a lot to say.


  1. There are so many different types of bloggers that doing things one way or another doesn't make you less of a blogger... I delete all anonymous comments... :)

  2. Not to sound overly cheesy, but it's a matter of quality over quantity. Your life is such that you aren't able to post as much. It happens. I say it's still worth it when you do for your illustrations alone.

  3. As a working mother of a busy busy 17 month old boy, with his brother due this summer, I too am a delinquent book club member, corresponder, etc. Life is different, big time. If some people can't understand that you're busy living your life, instead of documenting it for our entertainment, hell with 'em. You're lucky to have your 2 beautiful babies and a thriving business. All I know is, you're in my Google Reader, so whenI'll you do pop up there, I'm all like "Yay! Kristy!", so I'll be here to read (and enjoy) whatever you have to say, whenever you get around to say it!

  4. Kristy, I am the same way and I don't even have any children yet! I recently entered into the best relationship of my life and I do a lot with my church and ministry as well as work full time and my attention and energy goes to my life rather than my blog. You have a very full, fulfilling life and nothing is wrong with that! You don't have to apologize for it. We are all so happy for you!

  5. The great thing about using RSS readers is when you do post, I can read it. When you don't, I can read other things. Congrats on your exciting (if exhausting) growing business.

  6. Good for you for taking time for you, for your family, and for your business. Thank goodness I'll already be subscribed so I will get updates as you do have time for blogging.
    Side note: Go Towns!!! Woohoo!!! I think he's *almost* ready for a NY playdate this August!!

  7. I'm so excited for you and your company. I think it's awesome. So you don't post a bunch anymore. Big whoop. I'm pooped after 9pm, and I only have ONE kid and ZERO companies to operate. Do what makes you happy and results in the least regret.

  8. Miss you, Kristy, but I get it.

    Your absence has made me find a couple of other blogs to check in with regularly, but I still click back here ever week or so, just in case. Haven't blogged myself in over a year...

    Life for me right now is throwing my energy at what needs it most at the moment and moving on to the next thing. I still wake up panicked at night about what I need to do, but I'm mostly beyond feeling guilty about it. Enjoy your moments as they come; you definitely deserve then!

  9. Echoing everything said above. Totally get it. Totally miss you. Will totally be checking back on a regular basis for when you do get the chance to leave us a little something!

  10. Kristy, You're amazing!

    (Also, anonymous commenters are such idiots!)

  11. the great thing about feed readers is that i get to see what you write and don't need to check in every day. also, i can do it when i have time. win for both of us!

    i love your writing. but i love you living your life on your terms even more. rock on with your bad self.

    love to you, ishs and the kids.

  12. Anyone who doesn't understand that life evolves and a person's (especially female's) free time ebbs and flows with those changes obviously does not have a life.

    So they criticize other peoples lives.

    I love that Clever Girls is working well for you, and that when you do have a chance to write, you sound HAPPY. That is all I want for anyone I know/follow!

  13. You ROCK! And I've been enjoying your photos - so please don't stop posting those cute kids!

  14. i don't have time to blog anymore, either, and i don't have kids! bigger job, different hobbies, life... they have changed everything.

    when i started blogging, it was largely because i needed a creative outlet. now, i've found other ways to satisfy my creative needs, though i do miss having the time to write. i notice that many of my bloggy friends (my own IIFs!) don't write much anymore, either... though i'm happy we've all connected on facebook.

    things change. i'm happy to be able to check in with you here and other outlets.

  15. Both myself and "S" of KKM own 2 businesses (one we are partners on) that bring in income as well as a part time jobs, that is 5 jobs between the 2 of us, i have a single social life and she has a kid and BF.. not to mention we decided to start a blog... WHAT THE HELL were we thinking?? I say Kudos to you for going after what you want and screw anyone who tries to bring you down about it. Blog when you want sleep as much as you can but focus on your big picture because eventually its that company that will allow you the freedoms to enjoy your life... GL to you from us at KKM _J

  16. I can't believe someone actually complained. Who's to say who's a "real" blogger?

    I think for a lot of bloggers, the long-term realities of the work are finally settling in. I know *exactly* what you mean by your 9 p.m. comment, down to the time of day, even. Some weeks I have the energy to power through it. Some weeks I turn on the baseball game and fall asleep.

    It actually gets easier, or so I've found, anyway. My kids are old enough that I can leave them on autopilot for small stretches, especially weekend mornings. It opens up more time.

  17. I'll take whatever dollop of you I can get and you have the time to dole out.

  18. Running a business is hard work. Running a business and raising kids is even harder. (I know first hand!) You never mind what those not in the same position say. Their comments don't count. ;)


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