"It would have been better if you'd made at least one more point about how I'm a gentle lover with a beautiful penis."

It's kind of a long story, but it kind of isn't. When Ish and Eve and I went to the BlogHer Food conference, I spent a lot of time with BlogHer's amazing designer, Joy, who had a gorgeous baby boy three months before I had Eve. We somehow got on the conversation of post-baby sex, and then Denise (BlogHer's community manager) heard us and next thing you know, we're having a semi-graphic discussion about bizzaro-revirginization and oral sex and oy.

Then Denise asked me to write an honest post about "What Sex Is Like After You Have A Baby."

So I did.

I was a tad graphic (at least, by my "I never write about sex EVER" standards) and REALLY honest and well...


So there you have it.


  1. That wasn't very graphic, but I do applaud your honesty. As a woman gearing up to have a baby hopefully in the next year, I have a sinking suspicion that there are an awful lot of things like this mothers don't tell us ahead of time, at least not in a believable way. I BELIEVE YOU.

  2. It wasn't graphic at all. It was smart, and funny, and honest, and well-written. And, I thank you for it (and for also putting my name very close to the phrase oral sex. Awesome.)


  3. Not even a tad graphic, peachpaw!

  4. Excellent post! Thank you so much for sharing. I do not have children yet, but the majority of my friends are having them this year, or have had them this year, and I've been trying to absorb as much info and advice from them regarding this topic. I am lucky to have a few friends who are just as open to talking about sex as I am and they have shared their concerns, frustrations, etc. about their waning sex life. I suppose it's just one of those things you have to accept for a little while and keep looking for that light at the end of the tunnel.

    Love your blog!

  5. Dude! Exactly! And I didn't have a c-section, but I was really surprised how much I didn't want to have sex for a while. I, too, ALWAYS wanted to have sex, but right after the baby, not so much. And the first time was not exactly like the first time ever, but I was all uncomfortable and weird about my new body and actually asked him "Did I feel... um... stretched out? down there?" Yeah, sexy.

    BUT! My mojo came back! I have two kids, four and two, and everything's totally back to normal. It got that way little by little -- the process, you know -- but it's cheerfully hot again. So don't worry. If, you know, you were.

  6. Great post. I have had a very similar experience minus the raging hormones at 6 weeks. I've also been having problems with my husband wanting to touch my boobs. After breastfeeding, I just can't see them as sexy.

    But, there is hope, 6.5 months after my daughter was born, I initiated and enjoyed for the first time. Yay!

  7. yeah...the first time my husband and I tried to get busy post-baby, the baby puked in her crib right in the middle of it.

    We did not try again for awhile.

  8. I love -- and am truly envious -- of your honesty. As Denise pointed out, I am much too shy to write my "experiences" for the world to see. But it's so great, and relieving, to talk about them.

    What I didn't get to finish telling you that day was it does get better. Much better. There tends to be some lame scheduling going on, but if baby is on a schedule. why can't mommy and daddy be? :)

    Oh ya, and lubricants are your friend.

  9. Our babies were born on the same day, so I know your pain!! I've followed your blog for awhile now...that was the best post ever written. I thought the same exact way prior to the baby and the same exact way now!! Thanks, it makes me feel so much better knowing that someone else is going thru the same things

  10. I think it's really important to share stuff like this. Then when other women (and men who are trying to figure out what's happening with their spouses) know they aren't the only one going through it.

    I can tell you that my libido came roaring back after my kids and now I'm basically an 18 year old guy in a 38 year old mommy body. It's an interesting combination.

  11. great post!!! I keen to read the second part of this post: what happened then? did you recovered you sexual life? or is a baby the end of it?


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