Watch Me Not Eat Microwave Popcorn

here i go!

*smell of popcorn wafts across office*

i'm just typing.

*colleagues offer sumptuous, salty, hot, delicous treat*

i'm still typing.

*colleagues engage in conversation about attractive, newly single mayor of sf*

still typing, though more distractedly.

*note that i'm neither having popcorn NOR hot dates with single mayor*

typing with more enthusiasm.

*wonder if not eating popcorn will eventually result in my achieving a figure that will attract mayor*

stop typing.

*ignore sound of boss contentedly crunching on popcorn*


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