tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post114625392402674715..comments2024-03-29T03:42:27.128-07:00Comments on She Just Walks Around With It: Nokristyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00879301751663532121noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146377534836600682006-04-29T23:12:00.000-07:002006-04-29T23:12:00.000-07:00I...I don't have words. I feel as if this is unfo...I...I don't have words. I feel as if this is unfolding in real time and even though I can see the inevitable coming it hits me like a blow to the gut the more I read. <BR/><BR/>Amazingly raw and real writing. I just happened to stumble (literally) across your blog tonight by hitting the "next blog" button. And now I can't stop reading. Or crying.Fostermamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08958097167173219637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146328914748184902006-04-29T09:41:00.000-07:002006-04-29T09:41:00.000-07:00I'm shocked. SHOCKED.I'm shocked. SHOCKED.Guinness_Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12470433633029683110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146316160603387242006-04-29T06:09:00.000-07:002006-04-29T06:09:00.000-07:00My heart has been tugged at over and over by your ...My heart has been tugged at over and over by your story... we all have pain and suffereing in our lives and somehow it seems a little better when you hear how someone else is in the same boat as you... not everyone's life if perfect and just yours that sucks... thank you for sharing all of this and letting us know we're not alone.<BR/><BR/>On the flip side... I'm having major internal issues with this entry... I've been on both ends... I know what it's like to be dropped by someone you care about at the time when you need them most... but I also completely understand just not being able to take anymore. It's horrible what David did... but I've done it too, maybe not to the severity of a mother's death... but I have attempted to cut someone off from my life at a time when they were suicidal and depressed... I regret it 100% now, but at the time... it was breaking me down being the rock. it was making me weaker and weaker day in and day out and i couldn't take it anymore... it's time like this when you have to make a choice... Do I do what's good for me? or do I do what's good for someone else? ... I grew so used to doing what was good for someone else, that I felt I owed it to myself to do what ws good for me... <BR/><BR/>i'm not trying to justify what I or David did... just ... letting out some thoughts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146275823821040902006-04-28T18:57:00.000-07:002006-04-28T18:57:00.000-07:00Ok, this is the smallest smallest part of your sto...Ok, this is the smallest smallest part of your story, but I DID have to leave the NE because of the summers. 3 feet of snow? Not cool, but OK. 90 degrees with 90% humidity? NEVER AGAIN!KMKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17071634814516082053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146261188835070772006-04-28T14:53:00.000-07:002006-04-28T14:53:00.000-07:00not to be all meta or anything, but any time one o...not to be all meta or anything, but any time one of you says, "you make me feel like i'm not alone" it makes me feel like i'm not alone, either.<BR/><BR/>it has been somewhat cathartic, but i've told these bits and pieces of the story so many times, it's not that it's gone untold. but having it written and seeing it on a permanent "page" -- THAT is new. it sort of makes it feel like all this stuff isn't inside me anymore, it's outside. (Dumbledore's Pensieve.) it's freeing.<BR/><BR/>thank you all for sharing your stories, too. <BR/><BR/>cosmos all around. :)kristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00879301751663532121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146260343840938612006-04-28T14:39:00.000-07:002006-04-28T14:39:00.000-07:00I must say your life is more gripping than "A Mill...I must say your life is more gripping than "A Million Little Pieces." (And I mean that in a way that one would say it before all the Oprah hoop-la and law suits and stuff.) <BR/><BR/>I feel like you are the creator of a new kind of media. Although blogs have been around for a couple years, I have yet to see one as spell-binding as yours. It is as if you have mixed a written memoir-book and a blog. I can't wait to get to work so I can read the next chapter. You are an amazing writer. <BR/><BR/>And let me tell you how great it is to know that although you have gone through so much heartache and sadness, (although I'm only a meer IIF) you seem to have turned out to be ok on the other side of all of it. You are an inspiration.Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13097087101830290804noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146260311036160592006-04-28T14:38:00.000-07:002006-04-28T14:38:00.000-07:00It's such an easy way out for him. He, doesn't wa...It's such an easy way out for him. He, doesn't want to hurt you when you're feeling well, so why not pour it on while you're already down. It totally sucks, and its probably a subconscious reaction and not a planned event, but its logical. I think its got to be a common occurence. Wait until someone is already down, then announce your separation, so they only have to be devestated once. Its a total dick maneuver, but I bet its pretty common.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146259968280821792006-04-28T14:32:00.000-07:002006-04-28T14:32:00.000-07:00Oh. My. God. I've sometimes wondered how you got t...Oh. My. God. I've sometimes wondered how you got to be as strong and independent as you come across in your blog, and now I know.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146258853064009572006-04-28T14:14:00.000-07:002006-04-28T14:14:00.000-07:00I was on the phone with you, Kiki, and Dave had ju...I was on the phone with you, Kiki, and Dave had just done the unimaginable -- and you had to call me back because there was a "situation" with Jane and a "bug" of some sort (was it a spider?)... We didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So many pieces to the story (many of which we'll never know or understand). So many people affected by so many emotions. So many layers of life intersecting and smashing into each other, like plates that ultimately cause an earthquake. I knew the players and was aware of the events, yet, as your best pal said to me, "It's as if we've read the book and now we're glued to the movie." You are astounding.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146258596623344252006-04-28T14:09:00.000-07:002006-04-28T14:09:00.000-07:00God, what a shocker. Hit me right out of left fiel...God, what a shocker. Hit me right out of left field. Even though you weren't happy, you were still devastated when he ended it. Even though I left my marriage emotionally long before my ex did, isn't it weird how hurt I was when he finally did? Even though I didn't want to be in the relationship? Once again, thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone in the universe.Tracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07575091605862822846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146258087371294912006-04-28T14:01:00.000-07:002006-04-28T14:01:00.000-07:00Thank God you post, like, 8 times a day. I really ...Thank God you post, like, 8 times a day. I really really don't know how I would not spontaniously combust if you didn't.<BR/>You're an amazing writer.amberancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16495111316840391202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146257993670740272006-04-28T13:59:00.000-07:002006-04-28T13:59:00.000-07:00Carolyn, how very Jessica Simpson of him.Carolyn, how very Jessica Simpson of him.Carolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08457487239082794082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146257886774507852006-04-28T13:58:00.000-07:002006-04-28T13:58:00.000-07:00wow. wow wow wow. i, like everyone else, did not...wow. wow wow wow. i, like everyone else, did not see that coming. i feel, like everyone else, that i have so many similarities and i have often thought that my husband would never ever leave me. wow. i wonder if a future installment will make you grateful to him for making the decision.<BR/>can i again thank you for sharing! you are a very brave person, as well as an excellent writer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146257680280714562006-04-28T13:54:00.000-07:002006-04-28T13:54:00.000-07:00Kristy, thank you for writing this story. I've bee...Kristy, thank you for writing this story. I've been rabidly checking for each next installment. As for David, everyone has their breaking point. While I don't think doing it over the phone was the nicest thing, maybe that's the only way he could get up the courage to actually do it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146257366109622512006-04-28T13:49:00.000-07:002006-04-28T13:49:00.000-07:00Oh, lordy. I know that every time I post a comment...Oh, lordy. I know that every time I post a comment on your blog that I seem to go off on a tangent about what you remind me of in my own life. You have that effect on people -- on me, anyway -- of writing about a scenario with such painful clarity that it lands like a thunk in the pit of my stomach like a hard reality that *I* have just swallowed. <BR/><BR/>Today, you reminded me of when my first husband -- after four years of dating and then four years of marriage -- took me home to my mom's house for Thanksgiving and proceeded to end our eight-year relationship by telling me on a car ride why he couldn't be married to me anymore. He actually gave me a list of seven areas in which I was to improve if I wished to retain the privilege of remaining married to him -- and in his earnest little discussion he even had them categorized (two major problem areas and five minor ones). I remember feeling a horrible urge to cry and laugh at the same time, and I wondered if he had a little progress chart and a packet of gold stars tucked away for me somewhere. My response was to listen carefully, look thoughtful, and quietly say no thanks. The crying and puking and sorrow and bereft feelings came later. And the rage, when I found out from a mutual friend that he'd blabbed about the divorce before he even told *me* about it. (Before that, I remember a fight when he was castigating me for not feeding the dog while I was home and very sick. And the time when he thought I was writing in my journal just to piss him off, as if everything was about him.) I think after a while they just demonize you so they can cut their own losses and stop their own pain; they don't think about the circumstances or the timing. Thanks-freakin-giving weekend. I think about him -- appropriately enough -- every time I see a Thanksgiving turkey now.<BR/><BR/>Some people ...Carolyn B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/04495864047777103064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146257236266882102006-04-28T13:47:00.000-07:002006-04-28T13:47:00.000-07:00I'm so pissed off I could spit.I'm so pissed off I could spit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146257098778337162006-04-28T13:44:00.000-07:002006-04-28T13:44:00.000-07:00Oh, Jeez k.I know only what you've described, and ...Oh, Jeez k.<BR/><BR/>I know only what you've described, and while I can't imagine that you or him were happy the way things were, or that you were easy to be around, or that the situation made things better, but Jesus in a sidecar, you'd think he'd wait it out until you were a bit stronger to handle a divorce. asshat.<BR/><BR/>I'm totally going to mooch off of Caroline's martini offer too while we're at it, or hell, my cousin's boyfriend is a bartender. His cosmos. Ohmy, the best.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11530892587771136443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146256905229125172006-04-28T13:41:00.001-07:002006-04-28T13:41:00.001-07:00It amazes me how you always have and continue to p...It amazes me how you always have and continue to portray david as such a great guy. Throughout these horrible emotional stories, I don't think you've said a single negative thing about him<BR/><BR/>Seriously, that really shows your characterAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146256190050890022006-04-28T13:29:00.000-07:002006-04-28T13:29:00.000-07:00caroline,okay!caroline,<BR/><BR/>okay!kristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00879301751663532121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146255840893564142006-04-28T13:24:00.000-07:002006-04-28T13:24:00.000-07:00Oh. My god. dess.I want to bring you to a bar and ...Oh. My god. dess.<BR/><BR/>I want to bring you to a bar and buy you 15 martinis right now.Carolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08457487239082794082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146255137154493522006-04-28T13:12:00.000-07:002006-04-28T13:12:00.000-07:00thank you, edsg.i have tried to be careful and as ...thank you, edsg.<BR/><BR/>i have tried to be careful and as even as possible about this. i know i must have been wretched to live with. i know it. <BR/><BR/>and yet still.kristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00879301751663532121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1146254850772228162006-04-28T13:07:00.000-07:002006-04-28T13:07:00.000-07:00I've been reading your story with much interest bu...I've been reading your story with much interest but haven't commented until now. <BR/><BR/>My marriage fell apart shortly after a family crisis, too, and I had been intrigued by the parallels in your story to mine... until now.<BR/><BR/>Who DOES that? No matter how much you may or may not have deserved it, a person does not tell his wife it's over when her mother is dying. That is absolutely inexcusable. Unforgivable. Very possibly the worst thing I have ever heard in my life.<BR/><BR/>P.S. You are very brave and a very good writer...TwinsGoddesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09408606035762981315noreply@blogger.com