tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post112612471254617077..comments2024-03-29T03:42:27.128-07:00Comments on She Just Walks Around With It: Escape From Stepford: A Weighty History (pt. 3 of 3)kristyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00879301751663532121noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1128538687850305642005-10-05T11:58:00.000-07:002005-10-05T11:58:00.000-07:00i love reading your blog. you keep me giggling and...i love reading your blog. you keep me giggling and work and you make me feel like, hey, it's okay to be me. <BR/><BR/>keep writing. seriously. i'm in a creative writing graduate program, and i often think you are a hundered times more interesting than most of the other things i read.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126631553227201742005-09-13T10:12:00.000-07:002005-09-13T10:12:00.000-07:00be true to yourself. good luck. and lots of supp...be true to yourself. good luck. and lots of support!j.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00490666635068917490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126270467388694212005-09-09T05:54:00.000-07:002005-09-09T05:54:00.000-07:00Leigh,Hear! Hear!I'll work on that, too.Sister.:-)...Leigh,<BR/>Hear! Hear!<BR/>I'll work on that, too.<BR/>Sister.<BR/>:-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126244011858850962005-09-08T22:33:00.000-07:002005-09-08T22:33:00.000-07:00Kristy,I too, SO identify with your posts. By age...Kristy,<BR/><BR/>I too, SO identify with your posts. By age eight I was having daydreams (rich fantasies, complete with snubbing all former and current crushes) of showing up at school tall and blond and thin (see I was short and, well, not fat, but from 8 on convinced that I was...) I was a thickly built kid (Does anyone remember "husky" Levis? Aaargh!) and at 11 my mom put me on my first diet.<BR/><BR/>I keep pretty physically fit these days and have found some acceptance and love for my body SIZE...just in time to deal with the effects of AGEING.<BR/><BR/>As another poster said, even though I am successful in many ways; great career, great kid, great place to live, great lifestyle, it's hard sometimes to cope with the lack/loss of sexual attractiveness. <BR/><BR/>And as you alluded to, Kristy, it's because no matter how many literal and figurative mountains we climb as women there's a way we are always judged on our looks at the end of the day in our culture. Look at all of the nasty potshots taken at women like Janet Reno, Madeline Albright and Hillary that were about their physical appearance or lack of femininity. <BR/><BR/>So I'll spare you my rant about the american feminine ideal being actually significantly underweight and part of a tacit conspiracy to keep us consuming and to keep powerful women down because they are scary...but you get the idea.<BR/><BR/>So mostly I reject that part of our culture myself. I don't buy women's magazines that are going to make me feel like crap. I don't choose to spend time with people who are "body snobs." I stay away from Internet sites where there are frequent "fat chick" discussions (yeah, a lot of Craigslist). I watch a lot of British tv, where the women are still normal (and the shows are good!). <BR/><BR/>I guess you could say that for myself, I'm just not buying it anymore.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126224672566389762005-09-08T17:11:00.000-07:002005-09-08T17:11:00.000-07:00This was wonderful, thank you so much for it, trul...This was wonderful, thank you so much for it, truly.<BR/><BR/>You go girl!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126216064922025872005-09-08T14:47:00.000-07:002005-09-08T14:47:00.000-07:00Kristy, are you, in fact me? That story sounds alm...Kristy, are you, in fact me? That story sounds almost exactly like my experience (including the competitive swimming bits!) that I feel like I wrote it. Just substitute Evergreen, CO for Stepford, and ignore the fact that I never got married, and it's me. I have been lurking and enjoying your blog forever but today was the first time I felt motivated enough to comment. Thanks for writing a story I can truly, truly relate to.<BR/>Much love, <BR/>A fellow San FranciscanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126209993889172352005-09-08T13:06:00.000-07:002005-09-08T13:06:00.000-07:00Oh, Kristy. I have no words. Thankfully, you do....Oh, Kristy. I have no words. Thankfully, you do.<BR/><BR/>Hugs from Long Beach, CA.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126209290879233642005-09-08T12:54:00.000-07:002005-09-08T12:54:00.000-07:00I can identify with SO MUCH of what you said. Whe...I can identify with SO MUCH of what you said. Where to start? <BR/><BR/>You're right--you have to do it because it feels good, and healthy, not because of what other people think. And girlfriend, at a size 6 these days. . .that little fat girl inside me still has a mealy-mouth voice that I am constantly trying to SHUT UP.<BR/><BR/>These days, I am better than ever at telling her, "Bitch, I am small. Get out of here." And I 98% believe it.Jax Peachhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06576410670334903799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126206072957482542005-09-08T12:01:00.000-07:002005-09-08T12:01:00.000-07:00A wonderful post.A wonderful post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126205518272926592005-09-08T11:51:00.000-07:002005-09-08T11:51:00.000-07:00I grew up in Vancouver, and even so I was keeping ...I grew up in Vancouver, and even so I was keeping a calorie diary at age 12. I thought I was too fat, at 5'7" and 115 pounds, because I had hips and booty. <BR/><BR/>So I guess Stepford is everywhere.MeJanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03736003650098714494noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126203850489376122005-09-08T11:24:00.000-07:002005-09-08T11:24:00.000-07:00This subject is so very close to my heart; thank y...This subject is so very close to my heart; thank you. I REALLY hate when skinny people think that losing weight is just about having the willpower to eat less and move more. Weight is SO much more than that...sometimes it's the weight of the world, not just the weight on your ass.<BR/><BR/>I love you.kim ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17667712861749764749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126203442878064002005-09-08T11:17:00.000-07:002005-09-08T11:17:00.000-07:00Great post! Thank you for sharing your weighty hi...Great post! Thank you for sharing your weighty history...it's very similar to my heavy history. I wish I could move to SF and get away from the college coeds here, even if I was skinny, I'd still be fat by their standards.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126202679347574272005-09-08T11:04:00.000-07:002005-09-08T11:04:00.000-07:00Hurrah!~ Lisa<B>Hurrah!</B><BR/><BR/>~ LisaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126202614072888212005-09-08T11:03:00.000-07:002005-09-08T11:03:00.000-07:00K,Wonderful posts! Like you, I have been up and d...K,<BR/>Wonderful posts! Like you, I have been up and down the weight scale. I also lived in a small Midwest town where I was looked down on. Not only was I a chubby little kid, but my mother was from New York City. I was teased and tormented because we "talked funny" and we "weren't from around here" - - you know the scene.<BR/>I am now in my early 50's. I didn't have any self-esteem or confidence until probably my early 40's. But once I was able to let go of my former self-image, things have been MUCH better! I can go back home and hold my head high around the people who tormented me all during school. They no longer bother me - - I have a very good sense of "self" now!<BR/>Thank you for a very moving commentary on your life. It's so good to know that there are others out there who are going through the same feelings and experiences I did for so many years. And I have every confidence that you will come through everything just fine - - it is taking a while, but you will make it!<BR/>Keep up the wonderful writing - - you are an inspiration!<BR/>miss lizzyluAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126200209500521132005-09-08T10:23:00.000-07:002005-09-08T10:23:00.000-07:00Beatifully expressed. Thank you so much for shari...Beatifully expressed. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have battled similar issues all my life and it's comforting to know that I'm not alone.<BR/><BR/>The days when I go out with my friends and I'm the largest one and they get all of the initial attention kills me and makes me want to crawl into bed with elastic waisted pajamas and a crapload of food.Froggyladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01424207835110606239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126199847838177462005-09-08T10:17:00.000-07:002005-09-08T10:17:00.000-07:00OK, I've finally read ALL of the posts (somehow, I...OK, I've finally read ALL of the posts (somehow, I didn't realize that they were all here at first... just got around to reading everything... OOPS!).<BR/><BR/>And I didn't cry, this time. ;)<BR/><BR/>Yeah, I remember you being "that thin" after freshman year. We have that cute photo of us in my mom's pool (and you're STILL way better dressed than I am). You're glowing.<BR/><BR/>But - you know what? You still look like YOU to me. Even 10 sizes smaller, you are you. <BR/><BR/>That said... You look even more like YourSelf in the photos from SF at Thanksgiving two years ago. I knew it the moment we got there -- you were happy. Fulfilled. Home. <BR/><BR/>And I was so sad, because it probably meant you weren't coming back ease for a long time. :(<BR/><BR/>But.... I'll take a plane ride and self-esteem, self-confidence, and joy... over living next door and being miserable... any day.<BR/><BR/>So very much love,<BR/>EmEmily https://www.blogger.com/profile/10857785794498605437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126198811697297982005-09-08T10:00:00.000-07:002005-09-08T10:00:00.000-07:00Thank you for this post. As a resident of "Stepfo...Thank you for this post. As a resident of "Stepford 2" (Canada) it's good to read something that not only validates my own experiences, but makes me realize that it's not ME...but the culture and the people and their cookie-cutter expectations that are fueled by the superficial society. I so completely related to this series of posts...I almost felt like you were telling my story except that I haven't moved to SF and I haven't reached the same, confident and positive place you have - YET!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126194558472680022005-09-08T08:49:00.000-07:002005-09-08T08:49:00.000-07:00As someone who also has run through that time of m...As someone who also has run through that time of men-not-paying-attention-to-me to being-okay-with-me-no-matter-what-my-size to I-just-want-to-be-healthy, I salute you. It's a hard thing to get a handle of. Trying to unlearn the years of emotional eating and compulsive eating and eating of boredom will be (for me) a huge challenge. I am working on it, and I am taking baby steps forward and anticipate some steps back as well...but I am doing it because I deserve to be the best me I can be, and my body deserves to be strong and healthy and well-nourished. Thanks for sharing with us!MChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03740871776169412730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126190493783529742005-09-08T07:41:00.000-07:002005-09-08T07:41:00.000-07:00the1thingfish,of course. :) looking back, being ...the1thingfish,<BR/><BR/>of course. :) looking back, being 18 was harder than being in middle school -- because by the time i was 18 i thought i was supposed to have a handle on things (whereas i was just clueless when i was younger). <BR/><BR/>thanks for the kind words -- all of you.kristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00879301751663532121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126190430978489632005-09-08T07:40:00.000-07:002005-09-08T07:40:00.000-07:00I don't have the words.Proud. Love. Deeply gratefu...I don't have the words.<BR/><BR/>Proud. Love. Deeply grateful to be part of your life.<BR/><BR/>And similarly anti-Stepford.<BR/><BR/>- cuznateAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126188025152550602005-09-08T07:00:00.000-07:002005-09-08T07:00:00.000-07:00Amen sista! I know the feeling all too well!Amen sista! I know the feeling all too well!Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12519224953463428308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126187459301064242005-09-08T06:50:00.000-07:002005-09-08T06:50:00.000-07:00WOW That was a very strong post! I am not one to b...WOW<BR/><BR/> That was a very strong post! I am not one to be moved by things like that(My wife says I have a stone heart) but you really moved me with that one! I would like your permision to print it? My 18 year old daughter is going thru something along those lines. I want her to know that she isn,t alone and show her that she shouldn't let other people (pinheads) make her feel bad a herself and that they somehow determine her self worth! thanks and God bless you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126187110207648352005-09-08T06:45:00.000-07:002005-09-08T06:45:00.000-07:00Your three posts this morning were SO worth waitin...Your three posts this morning were SO worth waiting for, K. That's why it took a little time to put them out there.<BR/><BR/>I'm so moved, I'm almost afraid to comment. But you have become not only an inspiration to me, but one of my heros.<BR/><BR/>I've been up on the weight scale and I've been down and have experienced exactly what you experienced. But now I have a new and related challenge that nothing can touch. I'm getting older and I'm to a stage where the culture tells me that I'm unattractive and undesirable (even though God knows I still get rabid offers).<BR/><BR/>I love my life. I love my work (and I'm kick-ass at it). I'm more fully myself than I have ever been. I get lots of respect and positive reinforcement. And I make positive differences all the time. But when I'm a little weary or a little lonely or feeling the pain in my lower back or part of a group of people who are younger and thinner than I am, the Ogre comes out and pokes its finger in the soft underbelly of my aging body and laughs. And I feel sad.<BR/><BR/>Thank you. You give me hope.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126183667093562362005-09-08T05:47:00.000-07:002005-09-08T05:47:00.000-07:00Boy oh boy. Two comments in one day after months o...Boy oh boy. Two comments in one day after months of lurking. Kristy your honesty and lack of bitterness in describing events that shaped my life are awe inspiring. I grew up next door to Stepford, and am STILL recovering almost 40 years later. Really it's like being Catholic. <BR/><BR/>It's interesting to me that you felt just as bad even though you were tall and blond as I did as a short curvy big-lipped (before it was stylish) kinky haired Jewish girl in WASP land.<BR/><BR/>I'm so sorry your life sucked too.<BR/><BR/>Congratulations on growing into yourself. I think you have a hot soul.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1126153399537646622005-09-07T21:23:00.000-07:002005-09-07T21:23:00.000-07:00That's what it's about. life too short to be meas...That's what it's about. life too short to be measured in pounds and ounces. Ladies, you are hot. but do it cause you respect the life given you and you don't want to cut it any shorter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com