tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post111775797110576072..comments2024-03-28T09:41:36.745-07:00Comments on She Just Walks Around With It: "Calmative" My Asskristyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00879301751663532121noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-65510704515067440072012-11-08T15:59:33.904-08:002012-11-08T15:59:33.904-08:00great post Keep it upgreat post Keep it upfree adult datinghttp://www.adultsexdating-net.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-24479232060004695582008-08-28T08:30:00.000-07:002008-08-28T08:30:00.000-07:00Say hello to your newest stalker!! lol.... i'm...Say hello to your newest stalker!! lol.... i'm TOTALLY new to this whole blogging thing... (i'm canadian... i hibernate for half the year, what can i say!!??) and I followed a link from another blog... and now that i'm babbling like a damn moron, I'll continue to your regularly scheduled comment:<BR/><BR/>I LOVE this post!!! I'm currently sitting here, still in giggle fits, with the most HILARIOUS mental image of a woman throwing soap at a cloth on the shower rod while SITTING in the shower. (this woman could SOOOO be me... except i'd probably first attempt to GRAB the cloth, while clinging desperately to the shower curtain, thus ripping the shower curtain off the rod completely and landing flat back on my ass... and wrapped up in said shower curtain with the cloth not moved an inch!!)<- this has never happened to me!! i SWEAR!!... lol... either way, I love your writing, it's funny, poignant, and suits me to a T!! Thanks!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1124644250940288132005-08-21T10:10:00.000-07:002005-08-21T10:10:00.000-07:00"i tried throwing soap at the washcloth "I know I'..."i tried throwing soap at the washcloth "<BR/><BR/>I know I'm 400 years late on commenting, but I'm reading your back archives, and this post made me belly-laugh helplessly. awesome.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118122085939677322005-06-06T22:28:00.000-07:002005-06-06T22:28:00.000-07:00see, I would interpret "make may tub slippery" to ...see, I would interpret "make may tub slippery" to mean it's better for a bath. if you're already sitting, you can't fall down. <BR/><BR/>(just make sure to use soap to clean out the tub afterwards)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118093394823700772005-06-06T14:29:00.001-07:002005-06-06T14:29:00.001-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Shananiganshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08537301327510516106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118093393635914402005-06-06T14:29:00.000-07:002005-06-06T14:29:00.000-07:00Kristy, really…too…funny. My cubicle mate here mu...Kristy, really…too…funny. My cubicle mate here must be ready to strangle me because it appears she actually has a lot of work to do, and my poorly-suppressed snickering can’t be helping her concentration. I am very glad you survived your bathing/exfoliating adventure unscathed.<BR/><BR/>I am not exactly the world most graceful person, but I can’t at the moment recall any incidents of serious injury or loss of consciousness while bathing. And miraculously I’ve never broken a bone. But I do remember the worst bruising I’ve ever had in my life. I was skiing with my host brother and sister in Finland about eight years ago (this is also the last time I’ve attempted downhill skiing, exactly why will be evident soon), and thought I was doing relatively well. I hadn’t run over any children or fallen off any ski lifts that day. So I took the plunge and went down an “intermediate” slope. I was slowly plowing my way down the hill just fine until I came to the very bottom, and saw that the incline increased dramatically. I panicked as I approached the drop off, and concentrated solely on not falling down, instead of keeping the speed minimal as well. To my surprise I did in fact make it to the bottom of the hill without falling, but was so distracted by this victory that I must not have noticed that I was doing 60mph (OK, well maybe not really, but very fast) and there was a fence quickly approaching. By the time I decided there was no way to stop gracefully and I’d better fall down, it was too late. I broke that fence with my ass. There I was, on my back, feet up in the air resting against what remained of the fence, missing one ski. Naturally everyone in the vicinity rushed to my aid, but I really wished they would have pretended they didn’t see it. My pride hurt almost as much as my backside. As you can imagine, on both cheeks and all the way down the back of my thighs I developed deep black bruises, and I couldn’t war most of the pants I owned for a couple weeks due to the swelling. Sitting was not so pleasant either.<BR/><BR/>Sorry about the super long comment! It’s been a long time since I though about that incident. Clumsy is as clumsy does.Shananiganshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08537301327510516106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118088091616680942005-06-06T13:01:00.000-07:002005-06-06T13:01:00.000-07:00Congrats on not killing yourself in the tub - but ...Congrats on not killing yourself in the tub - but just think if you would have fallen you could have had cute firemen rescue you!!! BTW... I had cute firemen come into my work on Friday and I think one of them was flirting with me.. What do I do? Send a thank you note for fixing the water leak and my biz card??? Send cookies? Help Kristy! You'll know what to do!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118083599499611342005-06-06T11:46:00.000-07:002005-06-06T11:46:00.000-07:00Hello, my name is Aarwenn, and I'll be your blogst...Hello, my name is Aarwenn, and I'll be your blogstalker for the day...<BR/><BR/>Maybe anonymous was confusing you with me. MY Starbucks order is a triple grande extra-almond two-pump mocha nonfat (natch) with whip mocha. Which, as far as I know, does not appear on any diet plan, anywhere. But I'm overcoming my addiction! Really! I have another totally different addiction now!<BR/><BR/>I decided I'd just switch to crack. Go directly to the source, I always say.Aarwennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04803036088464900924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118082816746512352005-06-06T11:33:00.000-07:002005-06-06T11:33:00.000-07:00anonymous,i'm afraid i have to disagree with your ...anonymous,<BR/><BR/>i'm afraid i have to disagree with your assessment of my weight-loss endeavors.<BR/><BR/>first of all, i have a considerable background in nutrition and weight loss, so despite having *ignored* it in recent years, i do actually know what i'm doing.<BR/><BR/>SBD is not a magic bullet, it is a reasonable eating plan for life. you seem unfamiliar with it, yes?<BR/><BR/>additionally, i do excercise regularly.<BR/><BR/>and for the record? my everyday starbucks order is a grande drip, which i drink black and always have.kristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00879301751663532121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118082406008061722005-06-06T11:26:00.000-07:002005-06-06T11:26:00.000-07:00I can tell you're not really serious about losing ...I can tell you're not really serious about losing weight yet. And that's cool. You can't do it til you're really ready.<BR/><BR/>When you do get serious though, you're going to need a more considered eating plan. Starbucks coffees (unless it's the plain kind without chocolate and all that garbage) probably won't be on it except for maybe once every three or four months considering they have probably a third or more of what your calorie consumption should be for the day.<BR/><BR/>Sorry to burst your bubble, but Atkins or South Beach or plain old counting calories or whatever you do, there's no magic bullet. You do the exercise, you watch your food intake, you pick something that will work FOR LIFE and you stick with it or the weight won't come off. Period.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118082352005810042005-06-06T11:25:00.000-07:002005-06-06T11:25:00.000-07:00Thank you so much!!! I was crying I was laughing s...Thank you so much!!! I was crying I was laughing so hard! I am not sure if it was because of the very cat like behaviors I know so well, or you are just a damn funny writer. I am gonna go with the latter. Phew! Just caught my breath.SwondPoopinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06450115220146807942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118080369943069392005-06-06T10:52:00.000-07:002005-06-06T10:52:00.000-07:00aarwenn, i'm with you. no idea if that was meant ...aarwenn, <BR/><BR/>i'm with you. no idea if that was meant in good spirit or not, but whatever. <BR/><BR/>it actually doesn't bother me if IIFs think i'm heavier than i am -- i just figure it'll be a nice surprise should we ever meet...<BR/><BR/>ooh, speaking of which, the blog party is this week. i have to write a reminder!kristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00879301751663532121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118079951230380902005-06-06T10:45:00.000-07:002005-06-06T10:45:00.000-07:00Honey, you're the Incredible Shrinking Woman. You...Honey, you're the Incredible Shrinking Woman. You totally rock. I can't decide is lajulie was trying to be funny or not, but I'm going by your rule of thumb: "If the f-word is mentioned (fat) then it's no longer a joke."Aarwennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04803036088464900924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118079011491644842005-06-06T10:30:00.000-07:002005-06-06T10:30:00.000-07:00hi lajulie...um, well, i definitely have weight to...hi lajulie...<BR/><BR/>um, well, i definitely have weight to lose, but (thankfully) i'm not too big for a tub.<BR/><BR/>for reference, i'm currently a size 14.kristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00879301751663532121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118078666627245522005-06-06T10:24:00.000-07:002005-06-06T10:24:00.000-07:00And what the hell is lajulie's problem? She makes ...And what the hell is lajulie's problem? She makes me feel very, very violent.Aarwennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04803036088464900924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118078592249661122005-06-06T10:23:00.000-07:002005-06-06T10:23:00.000-07:00HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!I, too, can't laugh out loud ...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!<BR/><BR/>I, too, can't laugh out loud at work. (Why do I do this to myself? Do I enjoy bursting ribs?) And to uglygerbil, ewwwwwwwwwwwww. I can't believe you ever used that shower without pouring bleach on it first.<BR/><BR/>And my own story: just a few short weeks ago, I came back from kickboxing exhausted and not fully in control of my leg muscles, and my parents shower is always kind of slidy, so when I stepped into the shower with my right leg first (because I'm right-handed) it slid out from under me immediately, and because I had no reaction time whatsoever (since my muscles resembled jelly) I forgoed anything like flailing or grabbing the shower curtain rail, and simply sat down, very hard, on both the edge of the tub AND the washcloth rack IN the tub. You know how you get a bump on your head when you hit it? I actually had a bump on my ASS. (You couldn't see it, thanks to fat, but you could feel it, as my boyfriend discovered.) The bruise was less like a bruise and looked more like a blue flesh-eating virus had attacked my entire left ass cheek, with concentrations of black and red in the center. Once again, thank God for fat--I would have cracked my tailbone.Aarwennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04803036088464900924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118077982042305582005-06-06T10:13:00.000-07:002005-06-06T10:13:00.000-07:00OMG.. Too funny!!!!!!!!! I didn't realize you coul...OMG.. Too funny!!!!!!!!! I didn't realize you could fit in a bathtub!!!!!!! From your picture and drawings and descriptions of yourself it seems unlikely. Maybe you can squeeze in but don't need much water?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118077340318630482005-06-06T10:02:00.000-07:002005-06-06T10:02:00.000-07:00Funny post! Much enjoyed.But this:"i don't take a...< snort > Funny post! Much enjoyed.<BR/><BR/>But this:<BR/><BR/>"i don't take a lot of baths even though i think it's required of girlie-girls who are single and have cats and candles and own movies like when harry met sally and are water signs. i'm trying to get better at it."<BR/><BR/>Crap, I thought I was an original! LOL <BR/><BR/>LizAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118076041675468512005-06-06T09:40:00.000-07:002005-06-06T09:40:00.000-07:00Congratulations on your bath-time conquest! Look ...Congratulations on your bath-time conquest! Look out kitchen, here she comes!Froggyladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01424207835110606239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118075713277535062005-06-06T09:35:00.000-07:002005-06-06T09:35:00.000-07:00Please remember NOT to run on tile after getting o...Please remember NOT to run on tile after getting out of the shower. A...ahem...friend of mine once jumped out of the shower to run for the phone and nearly broke her neck on the kitchen floor. She had to lay there for a few moments just to laugh and check for broken bones. She didn't break any bones. She now lets the answering machine do its job when she showers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118065482562941602005-06-06T06:44:00.000-07:002005-06-06T06:44:00.000-07:00K, you are so funny. Lorien sent me to your blog a...K, you are so funny. Lorien sent me to your blog and I need to thank her again :) Not only can I relate, but its nice to find someone else who can laugh at themselves, often. :)Chandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08522052089077402092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1118023824413620532005-06-05T19:10:00.000-07:002005-06-05T19:10:00.000-07:00Laugh out loud funny - and so so true. When I fir...Laugh out loud funny - and so so true. <BR/><BR/>When I first moved to Seattle, my boyfriend's employer put us up in corporate housing. I don't know if the tub was just super slippery or what, but in the first shower I took I lost my balance, grabbed the rail and took it down to the floor with me. To this day I'm not sure what hurt worse - my bruised thighs or my pride when I had to have my guy help me replace the hotel's shower bar.Ctyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12800310694144056612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1117992014939594842005-06-05T10:20:00.000-07:002005-06-05T10:20:00.000-07:00You are the funniest girl on the face of the plane...You are the funniest girl on the face of the planet - I'm very happy your survived the bath.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1117989325441021882005-06-05T09:35:00.000-07:002005-06-05T09:35:00.000-07:00ohhh Kristy girl. I used to think was the QUEEN of...ohhh Kristy girl. I used to think was the QUEEN of all that is Klutzdom but I may have a challenger to the throne. Of course, I'm still the only person I know who can just casually (LOVE the term "breezy elegance" btw!) ram the side of her face into the door jamb as she walks thru it. But I too have known the terrors of the bath/shower. Try shaving your legs in one of those separate shower stalls. You have to kinda hike your leg up and brace it against the wall as if you were a ballerina with a barre, otherwise the water washes away all the showergel. And where does it wash it to? Right to the bottom of the shower where your other leg is supporting your full, off balance, klutz weight. So then you're sliding, inch by inch, with razor sharp shaving accessories in hand. So there you are, forming a human letter K in tribute to the klutzes of the world (back against one wall, half shaved leg propped against the opposite walk and second, traitor leg slid out from under you at a 45degree angle) trying to figure out if you have any clean slacks for work instead of the capris you were going to wear. <BR/><BR/>Kristy, I salute you. Here's your tiara.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1117986681436541622005-06-05T08:51:00.000-07:002005-06-05T08:51:00.000-07:00K- Great job on staying upright! Love the story! A...K- Great job on staying upright! Love the story! <BR/><BR/><I>A cautionary tale for all:</I><BR/>I slipped stepping into my shower. My right foot went to the right, the rest of my body somehow managed to go left, I fell on the edge of the tub on the bridge of my nose/left eye socket and knocked myself unconscious. <BR/>Luckily at the time I did not live alone, and my sister came in and turned off the water to keep me from drowning. As my right foot had managed to fully cover the drain somehow, she said the tub was starting to fill up. <BR/>I remember little about everything after the feeling of falling, until we got to the ER and the cute doc that stitched up the same eyelid and checked out my broomball-induced concussion started asking questons about me being abused... sadly only by my clumsiness.<BR/>Be careful out there... bathtubs/showers cn be dangerous.<BR/>;-)ramblin' girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05101217614181692147noreply@blogger.com