tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post111498535793142401..comments2024-03-28T09:41:36.745-07:00Comments on She Just Walks Around With It: Your Worst Nightmarekristyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00879301751663532121noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-84890019084595423052023-09-19T09:42:37.395-07:002023-09-19T09:42:37.395-07:00It seems like there might have been a mistake in y...It seems like there might have been a mistake in your message, as it appears to be incomplete. Could you please provide the title or topic of the blog post you'd like me to comment on? I'd be more than happy to help once I have a bit more information!M Ahsanhttps://autospartoutlet.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-42094442252025250022009-04-23T15:11:00.000-07:002009-04-23T15:11:00.000-07:00Oh my God! This is the funniest thing I've read in...Oh my God! This is the funniest thing I've read in a looong time.<br /><br />The way you described it...oh, I could just visualize it and eww, so gross. I visualized some kind of skinny, pimple-y, nerdy guy, like the kid that has a crush on Meg from Family Guy.<br /><br />Oh and the best, at the end he says that you are a great kisser!<br />Freaking lizard guy.<br /><br />Too funny.Sonianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-45933463292396605562008-11-05T16:31:00.000-08:002008-11-05T16:31:00.000-08:00I'll see your Lizard Lips, and raise you a Dead Fi...I'll see your Lizard Lips, and raise you a Dead Fish.<BR/><BR/>I once had the misfortune to hook up with a guy who turned out to be the worst. Kisser. Ever.<BR/><BR/>He smushed his lips up against mine and then proceeded to stick his tongue in my mouth. That's it. No movement whatsoever. It was like playing tonsil hockey with a dead fish. *Sideshow Bob shudder*Sharronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12869459336610729250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-9210891552280498622008-05-30T09:05:00.000-07:002008-05-30T09:05:00.000-07:00Yikes, I think I dated the same guy too!!! I reme...Yikes, I think I dated the same guy too!!! I remember trying to decide what to do when I realized he was comin' at me with his tongue stickin' out!!Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02340821935542916485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-59695249914958265822008-05-29T09:41:00.000-07:002008-05-29T09:41:00.000-07:00OMG! TOO FUNNY! I dated this same guy! Like many v...OMG! TOO FUNNY! I dated this same guy! Like many victims, I had blotted the whole horrible experience out of my memory. Now I am experiencing post-traumatic stress syndrome.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-77484944691805870812008-04-22T13:23:00.000-07:002008-04-22T13:23:00.000-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.nychttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05568741314384534958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-61419047952649416212008-02-18T14:57:00.000-08:002008-02-18T14:57:00.000-08:00im gagging.... i got bitten.hard.on the lip.nope, ...im gagging.... <BR/><BR/><BR/>i got bitten.<BR/><BR/>hard.<BR/><BR/>on the lip.<BR/><BR/><BR/>nope, didnt hang around for any more.bendalonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09713123552125298422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-22364580523485639082007-11-06T14:03:00.000-08:002007-11-06T14:03:00.000-08:00oh darling k-how did i miss this story before?i wi...oh darling k-<BR/>how did i miss this story before?<BR/>i wish i could post about the worst kissing/worst sex ever, but the teenagers i work with read my blog on occaision. and i don't need them to know about it. <BR/>no need to scare them off...<BR/>but oh, i think we have found twins. because my worst kiss/sex could easily have been the same man. <BR/>oh. dear. God.kate ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12169330545652700609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-7029818588045465752007-11-01T16:02:00.000-07:002007-11-01T16:02:00.000-07:00I think i just threw up a little bit in my mouth.I think i just threw up a little bit in my mouth.Nataliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10867360120617266317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-88322148775484880612007-08-28T14:12:00.000-07:002007-08-28T14:12:00.000-07:00That is both the grossest and funniest kiss story ...That is both the grossest and funniest kiss story I've ever read. <BR/><BR/>I'll have to stick around & read more of your stories :)Cali Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14354087779346888312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-70127540045970991672007-08-28T10:30:00.000-07:002007-08-28T10:30:00.000-07:00Great story! I think we have dated the same guy.Great story! I think we have dated the same guy.Sandy Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15728881317338470661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-30562375862377283122007-08-23T23:59:00.000-07:002007-08-23T23:59:00.000-07:00lol. you are truly a very good writer. i read your...lol. you are truly a very good writer. i read your article because i typed in my own first name (Kristy) and i read this and it was WAY too good. seriously. i hope you're doing something with this...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-36486373296690291502007-04-19T19:18:00.000-07:002007-04-19T19:18:00.000-07:00Just found your blog...love it, hilarious.My best ...Just found your blog...love it, hilarious.<BR/><BR/>My best and worst kisses were with the same guy. See, he was a phenomenal kisser. We were both the kinds of kissers who pay attention to the way the other person kisses and then respond accordingly, which we rapidly figured out the first time we made out (a make-out session which lasted - just kissing, no further, we were on a camping trip with friends - six hours). I adored kissing this guy.<BR/><BR/>However, one of the great, cute and adorable things about our relationship, which lasted several years, was that we would play little tricks on each other. We developed this game where, for laughs, we would surprise the other person by suddenly, unexpectedly, kissing badly. We came up with the worst kisses we could think of, which would make the other person furious and brainstorming for something even worse.<BR/><BR/>My worst one was suddenly puckering my lips really small and tight and dry. Landing full, soft lips on that was like kissing a withered freakish prune (I know - we would turn these kisses back on each other as revenge). His bad kiss, though, was the worst of all. We dubbed it the "dead kiss." He would open his mouth but keep his lips completely limp and just rub his limp open mouth against my lips. It gave me shudders all down my spine. The dead kiss was ultimately so bad that we quietly phased out the game, because we hated getting it so much. It makes me smile to remember those days - good kisses and bad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-34055024214744555032007-02-01T15:04:00.000-08:002007-02-01T15:04:00.000-08:00Ick!! I had a guy open his mouth, (this is hard t...Ick!! I had a guy open his mouth, (this is hard to explain), put his mouth on mine, stick his tongue kind of out, and then freeze. His tongue was hard as a rock, frozen, and his face was smashed up against mine. I was thinking, "Oh GOD help me."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1167948181076898272007-01-04T14:03:00.000-08:002007-01-04T14:03:00.000-08:00Oh no!So you mean I've been doing it WRONG all my ...Oh no!<BR/><BR/>So you mean I've been doing it WRONG all my life??<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>(heeheeheeheehee!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1155325287912728532006-08-11T12:41:00.000-07:002006-08-11T12:41:00.000-07:00found your blog last week on accident (i love when...found your blog last week on accident (i love when that happens) and decided i would start from the beginning. <BR/><BR/>This story is hilarious. Your writing is excellent and makes me feel like i am the one doing the kissing (GROSS)...<BR/><BR/>i just got the chills.DCchickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02767188601664847132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1153845491486713842006-07-25T09:38:00.000-07:002006-07-25T09:38:00.000-07:00(Mmm, Peter from Conneticut, you certainly have a ...(Mmm, Peter from Conneticut, you certainly have a way with words. And lips.)<BR/><BR/>Ack! THE HORROR! I am absolutely shocked and I think you should have made more of an effort to warn me. Don't even TRY to make excuses.<BR/><BR/>On the other hand, I feel deeply mortified on your behalf. Men are clueless and we must teach them. Sadly, Lizard Lips is too far gone for our humanitarian efforts to help him in any way.Innesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07808378796100767656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1135736007536927082005-12-27T18:13:00.000-08:002005-12-27T18:13:00.000-08:00I suppose we are born to do certain things and it ...I suppose we are born to do certain things and it is not gender specific. I have dated my share of rude, selfish, ego-centric women. And believe it or not, some were lousy kissers as well. It is definitely an art-form...a never-ending search for the Perfect Moment. (Like riding that perfect wave). I have had my share. It comes from enthuisam,<BR/>(good hygiene is a given).<BR/><BR/>I once made-out with this knock-out news correspondent who was also a very good kisser. Trouble was, when she invited me back to her place, (great as it was), she HAD to pop a demo tape of her doing "stand-up" news at murder and accident scenes WHILE we made-out! I couldn't possibly make this up! It was surreal. I occasionally caught a glimpse of this beauty before me, with her news persona on the big screen behind us. Talk about being in love with yourself. We did have a second date so I must have been a good enough kisser, but I could neither afford or stomach her any longer. <BR/><BR/>Btw, I have ALWAYS been described as an awesome kisser.<BR/>It comes from within...sensitivity and measuring your touches and<BR/>(tongue) with hers. Let her lead ever so slightly...linger..light, delicate touches. Trace the outside of her mouth, barely. Look into her eyes, tell her she's beautiful, stroke her hair, tease her. Breath against her neck, let her melt into you. Pronlong the anticipation, etc. etc. Unfortunately, we have all read this very thing before, but for some reason, a lot of guys, evidently, don't get it. There is also something to be said for a super-clean shaven face and sparkling fresh mouth. Get (slightly) into your feminine side and she will be dying for more.<BR/>Peter, CTAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1135638219456301972005-12-26T15:03:00.000-08:002005-12-26T15:03:00.000-08:00Although none of them will readily admit it each g...Although none of them will readily admit it each girl dreams of that first kiss, how long they've waited, how tediously the time in class has passed as they fretted over when it would be and then the perfect occasion arises..the school social.<BR/>Hours are spent deliberating over makeup and clothes, fights spring forth over who gets to borrow the sparkly blue skirt which barely passes 6 inches and yet is so sophisticated and yes, tears are shed with the overwhelming anticipation.<BR/>The evening passes and none of the loutish brutes appear to notice her, she trembles with the fear of rejection. <BR/>The end of the meat market evening is nigh and in sheer desperation she lets all standards slip, a belligerant oaf appears before her and graps at her behind squeezing and pulling at it, pinching and scrabbling..to all appearances in an attempt to wrench it off to carry it home as a trophy. <BR/>and then the moment we all have been waiting for.. the untimely lunge and the feeling of horror and dismay as teeth surround her delicate, innocent lips; a thick pointy tongue slides greasily between the teeth forcing them apart; the pungent stench of cheap beer fills her nostrils as he thrusts his fleshy protrusion down her neck occasionally licking the back of her jaw where the gums meet.<BR/>she attempts to squish this vile creature between her teeth to ward it off..but to no avail: its quick darting movements shy away from any attacks. Finally it retreats but to the poor girls horror the retrieval innitiates an area of lower pressure and the vacuum sucks her offended tongue out through a barrier of teeth. The pain is unbearable. <BR/>Summoning all her efforts she manages to pull away from this black hole and flee.<BR/>My dear people it has been 3 years since I was victim to this offense, tell me that one day i shall sleep easy in my bed again..<BR/>my deepest sympathies to all who have had similar experiences; is there a support group I can join somewhere to help me deal with this trauma?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1130798216755542502005-10-31T14:36:00.000-08:002005-10-31T14:36:00.000-08:00Funny stuff! Not everyone's a great kisser, and I'...Funny stuff! Not everyone's a great kisser, and I've met some really bad kissers in the past. One girl didn't know that she was supposed to be gentle and relaxed. My poor tongue and lips were bruised!<BR/><BR/>Anyway, just like with anything else involving two human beings, the key is <B>communication</B>, and in this case, <B>mutual attraction</B>. I am sure if "noodle arms" was that hot-looking firefighter from Curves with massive muscular arms, lats, and traps, you'd have been WAAAY more forgiving, heck, YOU might have been the one doing the grinding and moaning!<BR/><BR/>C'mon, admit it. There's a <B>double-standard</B> and we all know this :)<BR/><BR/>That's just my 2 cents. This posting was funny as heck! I need to learn to write well about things other than video games and sci-fi movies.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1129735556947146892005-10-19T08:25:00.000-07:002005-10-19T08:25:00.000-07:00Awesome post! I LOVE kissing. I married the man wh...Awesome post! I LOVE kissing. I married the man who I considered the best kisser (out of sampling all the lips in my tri-city area). :-) I was (and sometimes still am) known as "Katie the kisser". <BR/><BR/>In my time, I've had some kisses that sent me to satori for hours and some that, like the timid lizard, were so bad I can't believe I didn't stop them sooner.<BR/><BR/>OK: Guys who *drool* on you while you're making out. What the hell????? This has happened to me more than once. What is wrong with someone that they would not notice they are drooling? And one of these guys also did the MmmmmmmmMMmmmmm sound too! EEEEEWWW! Why God, why?<BR/><BR/>And as for the timid lizard, how about the timid chicken? I met this really good looking, tall, nice, intellectual classical pianist. He was GREAT. He had lived in several European countries. He spoke several languages. He as self-effacing and funny. He dressed well. I liked him- A lot. <BR/><BR/>At the end of our date he tried to kiss me. I had been looking forward to this moment so I closed my eyes. He put a hand on each shoulder and then "pecked" me on the lips. Then he pulled back, and did it again. I opened my eyes. He was holding me away from his body, one hand on each shoulder, and looking at me very seriously. Then he pecked me again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Over and over I felt as though I were being pecked by a chicken. How totally utterly weird. I started laughing! I couldn't help it. I liked the guy so much, I went out with him a few more times just in case. But no way, even I, slut that I was, had no intention of sleeping with the timid chicken. LOL.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16126512242363726857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1129593424760016712005-10-17T16:57:00.000-07:002005-10-17T16:57:00.000-07:00I don't envy you.That is truely disgusting.I don't envy you.<BR/><BR/>That is truely disgusting.Rachealhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09931724711525766448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1129593418849837782005-10-17T16:56:00.000-07:002005-10-17T16:56:00.000-07:00I don't envy you.That is truely disgusting.I don't envy you.<BR/><BR/>That is truely disgusting.Rachealhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09931724711525766448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1129259086773790692005-10-13T20:04:00.000-07:002005-10-13T20:04:00.000-07:00and I'm a friend of kyahgirl who sent me this link...and I'm a friend of kyahgirl who sent me this link. OMG. You've captured every woman's (nearly) worst experience. good work. xoxomireillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02012296353550408831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10136851.post-1129225017512533342005-10-13T10:36:00.000-07:002005-10-13T10:36:00.000-07:00My coworkers think I'm crazy, sitting in my office...My coworkers think I'm crazy, sitting in my office, crying. Yes, Crying. I am laughing so hard at this post and the comments. Thanks for making my day.Kyahgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04496268340516243071noreply@blogger.com